Thundersquee! http://www.thundersquee.com For people who hate to love things Tue, 06 Apr 2010 02:35:41 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 en 1.0 http://www.thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com a-word-from-mae afternoon-awesome afternoon-squee and-then-theres-this angry-black-lady-chronicles animals-that-are-assholes best-in-squee best-of-thundersquee birthday-shenannies brain-busters caption-this celebrity-shenanigans coffee-talk come-out-come-out-wherever-you-are confessions-of-an-ex-shopaholic crim_stupid culture_critic daily-bale whims doosh-watch-2009 fact-or-feces fail fashion-culture_critic food-for-thought found-on-the-internet geek-update girl-with-eyeblack god-stuff gooping guy-with-eyeblack holiday-cheer-and-crap hump-day-time-wasters hate_things infinite-playlist is-it-gorgeous-or-gross juju-bitches keeblerkahns-photo-round-up keepin-it-in-the-ballyhood kitchen-bitchin love-lust-and-havarti-dill low-merick lowku monday-music mondegreen-of-the-week morning-failFAIL! 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whiskey whiskeytown whisky white-bean-dip white-chocolate white-collar white-girls white-house white-house-correspondents-dinner white-people-taste-like-chicken whitney whitney-houston who-gives-a-shit whole-foods whoopi-goldberg why-is-this-duck-taunting-me why-must-you-foresake-us-mtv wieneraffe wieners wikipedia wilford-brimley wilhelm-reich will-arnett will-ferrell will-shuster will-smith will-yun-lee william willie-mays willie-nelson willie-williams wilmington windshield wine winkers winne-langley winnebago-man winnie-the-pooh winona-ryder winter-music-conference wired wisconsin wisconsin-badgers wisdom witchcraft wkrp wodka wolfgang-joop wolverine woman women wonder-woman wonderwoman woody-harrelson word-play words work-place world-news-daily world-of-warcraft world-series worlds-shortest-escalator worlds-ugliest-dog worldwide-orphans-foundation worn-shoes wrestling writing wrong-numbers wrong-side-of-history wrongful-death wtf wu-tang-clan wwe wwf wyld-stallyns x-games x-factor x-men x-men-origins-wolverine xanadu yael-naim yakuza yamaguchi-gumi yay yeah-yeah-yeahs yellow-ledbetter yes-i-used-asshole-fingers yidcore yoda yoga yoga-instructor yojuna-rovaniemelle yokohama-zoo yom-kippur you-cant-do-that-on-television you-give-love-a-bad-name you-got-tampaxed you-oughta-know you-tube youre-a-mean-one-mr-grinch youre-gonna-love-my-nuts youre-not-the-boss-of-me youre-so-vain youre-stupid-looking young-rascals youtube yummeh yunjin-kim yvonne-morris zac-efron zach zach-galifianakis zachary-quinto zack-kim zack-morris zack16com zahara-jolie-pitt zain-verjee zealots zhang-ziyi ziyi-zhang zoe-saldana zombie-ants zombie-apocalypse zombie-killer zombie-outbreak-simulator zombieland zombies zooey-deschanel %e2%99%a6 Random prose http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=20279 Wed, 31 Dec 1969 16:00:00 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=20279 Prologue

The actor sighed as he slouched down La Cienega Boulevard, praying mirthlessly for just a brief moment away from the prying eyes of the paparazzi and the loud tabloid headlines proclaiming him as the hottest man alive.

Ruefully, he realized that he should be flattered and grateful for the attention, but largely he felt like a fish out of water – like the surreal turn his life had taken meant that it was no longer his life at all. Sighing once again, Jack muffled a cursed and grabbed his cell phone out of the pocket of his jeans, its insistent ring telling him that his lawyer, Claudia, was calling.

"Jack, what the hell? You’ve been AWOL all week, and these contracts will not sign themselves,” Claudia warned harshly.

 For probably the hundredth time that day, Jack McDonnell, reluctant heartthrob, sighed.

Claudia sighed, too, and softened her tone. “Jack – what’s been going on with you lately?”

"I’m just exhausted,” he starkly replied. "I’ve been working nonstop for two years, and I just need a break.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line, and Jack could imagine Claudia in her office, pursing her lips as she mulled over his words. Finally, she replied.

“Have you talked to Parker?”

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20279 2009-08-13 20:33:51 0000-00-00 00:00:00 open closed draft 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1250260351 _edit_last 9
http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=24963 Wed, 31 Dec 1969 16:00:00 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=24963

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24963 2009-10-05 23:08:58 0000-00-00 00:00:00 open open draft 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1254809518 _edit_last 5
So, Here's The Thing, Y'all. http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=33312 Wed, 31 Dec 1969 16:00:00 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=33312 The Hags.

We're a group that started years ago by one Ms. Jujubees.

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33312 2010-02-02 02:05:18 0000-00-00 00:00:00 open open draft 0 0 post _edit_lock 1265782736 _edit_last 13 aktt_notify_twitter yes
Women Who Tell Other Women That They Don't Like Women Make My Vagina Want To Throw Things At Them. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/02/11/women-who-tell-other-women-that-they-dont-like-women-make-my-vagina-want-to-throw-things-at-them/ Thu, 12 Feb 2009 06:21:42 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=2896 The Devil in Mrs. Jones

ts-rashida116An interview with Rashida Jones in the March issue of Marie Claire contained this quote:

"I spend most of my time with my guy friends... blah blah blah...* girls can be complicated. Guys just see it - and tell it - like it is."

Now, it's common knowledge that this is a favorable thing to say when being interviewed by Maxim, FHM, or Douchebag Quarterly. Female celebrities, models and even widely-known actresses (maybe not respected ones, but Cameron Diaz and Sharon Stone count, too) are well aware that at some point they'll be expected to proclaim their unwaveringly loyal "guy's gal" status.

Nothing wrong with that! Guys LOVE reading that the purty lady on the cover loves nothing more than knocking back some PBR and buffalo wings while watching the game and farting IN REAL LIFE!  What could be cooler than THAT? She could be your friend! Your friend who might have sex with you if you play your cards right! I get it. It's marketing.

But sometimes it trickles over into women's magazine interviews, as well. So, here's my question to you, Rashida Jones:

Did you forget that you were talking to WOMEN when you said that? Because if not, then maybe I'm a little confused about what your goal was, and whatever that was, well, I think you might have done it wrong.

*ellipses are mine. Not Ms. Jones' or Marie Claire's. Both have been reputed to have said "blah blah blah" on other occasions; this is not one of them.

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2896 2009-02-11 22:21:42 2009-02-12 06:21:42 open closed women-who-tell-other-women-that-they-dont-like-women-make-my-vagina-want-to-throw-things-at-them publish 0 0 post _edit_lock 1250219836 _edit_last 8 aktt_notify_twitter no 1197 aprilesheehan@gmail.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.128.77.239 2009-02-12 02:45:45 2009-02-12 10:45:45 1 0 0 1199 funkatronik@yahoo.com 208.120.239.10 2009-02-12 04:24:16 2009-02-12 12:24:16 1 0 0 1201 chelsealberry@gmail.com 71.62.42.125 2009-02-12 05:41:56 2009-02-12 13:41:56 1 0 34 1204 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-02-12 06:36:25 2009-02-12 14:36:25 1 0 66 1209 funkatronik@yahoo.com http:// 198.182.154.4 2009-02-12 07:10:16 2009-02-12 15:10:16 1 0 30 1211 thomaslm@lcsedu.net 206.248.244.2 2009-02-12 07:16:46 2009-02-12 15:16:46 1 0 0 1212 kathleen_mason@santacatalina.org 63.82.140.108 2009-02-12 07:29:58 2009-02-12 15:29:58 1 0 0 1213 aprilhagsmail@gmail.com 216.41.1.3 2009-02-12 07:37:49 2009-02-12 15:37:49 1 0 0 1216 halfnelson02@hotmail.com http:// 216.174.10.2 2009-02-12 08:04:46 2009-02-12 16:04:46 1 0 32 1219 msfrapples@hotmail.com 71.8.66.22 2009-02-12 08:15:20 2009-02-12 16:15:20 1 0 0 1220 melanie12081@gmail.com http://parenting101thefunnystuff.blogspot.com 69.15.192.122 2009-02-12 08:22:47 2009-02-12 16:22:47 1 0 22 1231 citizenerased81@gmail.com http://www.myspace.com/oilybohunk7 24.247.242.90 2009-02-12 09:35:50 2009-02-12 17:35:50 1 0 12 1232 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-02-12 09:44:37 2009-02-12 17:44:37 1 0 0 1233 lkj@hotmail.com 99.240.130.180 2009-02-12 09:54:24 2009-02-12 17:54:24 1 0 0 1241 thomaslm@lcsedu.net 206.248.244.2 2009-02-12 10:13:16 2009-02-12 18:13:16 1 0 0 1246 msfrapples@hotmail.com 71.8.66.22 2009-02-12 10:22:31 2009-02-12 18:22:31 1 0 0 1247 melanie12081@gmail.com http://parenting101thefunnystuff.blogspot.com 69.15.192.122 2009-02-12 10:24:22 2009-02-12 18:24:22 1 0 22 1252 microgrrl@gmail.com 71.203.202.24 2009-02-12 12:06:11 2009-02-12 20:06:11 1 0 0 1257 citizenerased81@gmail.com http://www.myspace.com/oilybohunk7 24.247.242.90 2009-02-12 12:30:06 2009-02-12 20:30:06 1 0 12 1258 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.1.170 2009-02-12 12:35:02 2009-02-12 20:35:02 1 0 36 1265 glorbot@hotmail.com 75.157.226.216 2009-02-12 13:09:41 2009-02-12 21:09:41 1 0 0 1266 glorbot@hotmail.com 75.157.226.216 2009-02-12 13:10:57 2009-02-12 21:10:57 1 0 0 1334 thomaslm@lcsedu.net 206.248.244.2 2009-02-13 05:49:44 2009-02-13 13:49:44 1 0 0 1336 msfrapples@hotmail.com 71.8.66.22 2009-02-13 07:20:13 2009-02-13 15:20:13 1 0 0 1379 igandy@gmail.com http:// 38.98.61.98 2009-02-13 13:21:37 2009-02-13 21:21:37 1 0 50 1386 msfrapples@hotmail.com 71.8.66.22 2009-02-13 13:38:54 2009-02-13 21:38:54 1 0 0 1446 dseegers@comcast.net 71.56.179.172 2009-02-14 15:28:27 2009-02-14 23:28:27 1 0 70 1454 carlleonard@comcast.net 71.63.114.1 2009-02-15 06:11:43 2009-02-15 14:11:43 1 0 0
Happy Birthday, Barbie! http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/03/06/happy-birthday-barbie/ Fri, 06 Mar 2009 14:00:57 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=5215 I'm FIFTY! And I Like to KICK!

ts-barbie-tattooWhat do you do to celebrate when you're turning fifty but you're still built like a brick house? Well, if you're Barbie (or any other cougar prowling around for the attention of a sweet young thing), you get INKED!

Totally Stylin'! Tattoo Barbie has hit the market, folks! She's fabulous. She's fifty. She's got a butterfly on her butt (or wherever your Totally Stylin'! daughter decides to brand her with it). Miley's doin' it, and you KNOW a sophisticated Mattel lady like Barbie's not about to be shown up by some fifteen-year-old Disney chippie.

Note: the Totally Plumped! Barbie Collagen Lip Filler Needles, Totally Hormonal! Barbie Estrogen Replacement Therapy Kit and He's Totally Twenty! Barbie Poolboy Figurine are sold separately.

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5215 2009-03-06 06:00:57 2009-03-06 14:00:57 open closed happy-birthday-barbie publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1250219764 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1 2814 cj49georgia@yahoo.com 24.178.119.69 2009-03-06 06:32:45 2009-03-06 14:32:45 1 0 0 2816 resisti06@gmail.com 66.189.1.140 2009-03-06 06:58:21 2009-03-06 14:58:21 1 0 0 2818 msfrapples@hotmail.com 71.8.66.22 2009-03-06 07:57:15 2009-03-06 15:57:15 1 0 0 2822 microgrrl@gmail.com 71.203.202.24 2009-03-06 08:35:11 2009-03-06 16:35:11 1 0 0 2848 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-03-06 10:18:05 2009-03-06 18:18:05 1 0 0 2862 microgrrl@gmail.com 71.203.202.24 2009-03-06 11:02:06 2009-03-06 19:02:06 1 0 0 2900 lowerm@gmail.com 71.203.202.24 2009-03-06 13:53:29 2009-03-06 21:53:29 urhood store.]]> 1 0 0 2902 lowerm@gmail.com 71.203.202.24 2009-03-06 14:00:34 2009-03-06 22:00:34 1 0 0 2911 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-03-06 14:17:37 2009-03-06 22:17:37 1 0 0 2912 microgrrl@gmail.com 71.203.202.24 2009-03-06 14:18:53 2009-03-06 22:18:53 1 0 0 2913 microgrrl@gmail.com 71.203.202.24 2009-03-06 14:19:36 2009-03-06 22:19:36 1 0 0 2915 microgrrl@gmail.com 71.203.202.24 2009-03-06 14:20:05 2009-03-06 22:20:05 1 0 0 2916 msfrapples@hotmail.com 71.8.66.22 2009-03-06 14:20:48 2009-03-06 22:20:48 1 0 0 2920 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-03-06 14:26:40 2009-03-06 22:26:40 1 0 0 2921 microgrrl@gmail.com 71.203.202.24 2009-03-06 14:36:43 2009-03-06 22:36:43 1 0 0 2926 kat7962@hotmail.com http:// 63.226.213.26 2009-03-06 14:42:35 2009-03-06 22:42:35 1 0 36 2929 microgrrl@gmail.com 71.203.202.24 2009-03-06 14:47:40 2009-03-06 22:47:40 1 0 0 2958 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-03-06 16:45:41 2009-03-07 00:45:41 us use of the Letter That Shall Not Be Named.]]> 1 0 8 3624 carlleonard@comcast.net 24.125.175.212 2009-03-15 07:48:31 2009-03-15 14:48:31 1 0 72
Women Who Hate Women Make My Vagina Want to Throw Things At Them: Part Deux http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/04/07/women-who-hate-women-make-my-vagina-want-to-throw-things-at-them-part-deux/ Tue, 07 Apr 2009 22:52:26 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=9274 Would you ladies stop making me do this? THROWING THINGS VAGINALLY IS REALLY A LOT OF WORK! [caption id="attachment_9275" align="alignright" width="165" caption="Tree climber, woman hater Zoe Saldana"]Tree climber, woman hater Zoe Saldana[/caption]

An interview with Zoe Saldana (who plays Nyota Uhura in JJ Abrams' Star Trek flick) as the May issue of Cosmopolitan's "Fun Fearless Female" revealed these kind words:

Question (from Molly Fahner, Cosmo Interviewer Extraordinaire): You were one of the few women on-set. What was that like?
Answer (from Zoe Saldana, Woman Who Hates Women Extraordinaire) : I loved it! I've always been a guy's girl. ALL my friends are males. I'm not a "chick," I'm not that communicative, and I like dirt bikes and climbing trees.


Now, first off, I feel that it's important to tell you that Cosmo is my last resort, as far as women's magazines go. There are many better, smarter mags out there, and if I've picked up Cosmo it's because I've already read this month's issues of "the good ones" to death. You know how when you're having a REALLLLLLY slow day at work, and you've already read Thundersquee!, LaineyGossip and D-Listed and all the other sites you normally go to by one o'clock? And all you're left with is Perez Hilton? YOU GO TO HIM. It's a last resort, but don't tell me you don't check it out when there's nothing else to do. Me picking up Cosmo at the local CVS is kinda like that, so judge not lest ye be judged by stopthemadness. Or Judy, I guess.

Second off, for those who haven't read Cosmo (or refuse to), this is a magazine written not for women who are interested in or appreciate other women's thoughts; it's for women who are interested in analyzing their opponent (i.e., other women) for the attentions of "unsuspecting" men. It's a playbook. Women who read and live by Cosmo believe they're in the middle of a battlefield, full of other warring women, for the attention of a MAYY-UHHN(!). It's Douchebag Quarterly for the ladies is what I'm trying to say here.

Third off, and I know this comes late after my self-flagellations and explanations of this magazine: Zoe Saldana, THIS IS A WOMEN'S MAGAZINE! I know it ain't Marie Claire but it's still a magazine FOR WOMEN. It might be a magazine for women who hate women BUT IT'S STILL A MAGAZINE FOR WOMEN. So what are you saying? Oh, right. It's COSMOPOLITAN MAGAZINE! You're saying you're aligned with Cosmo readers. Because they, like you, also hate women! So, you have THAT in common!

Fourth off (Oh, yes, I'm getting off a lot on this one): Zoe Saldana, YOU'RE THIRTY. Are you seeking a fourteen-year-old boy, circa 1988? Who are you dirt-biking and climbing trees with? I will leave that open, for you (or your "people") to answer, IF YOU DARE. I double dare ya! I DOUBLE-DOG DARE-YA!

Fifth off: I don't have one. No reason.

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9274 2009-04-07 15:52:26 2009-04-07 22:52:26 open closed women-who-hate-women-make-my-vagina-want-to-throw-things-at-them-part-deux publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1250219553 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1 5620 kathleen_mason@santacatalina.org 63.82.140.108 2009-04-07 16:01:00 2009-04-07 23:01:00 1 0 0 5622 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-04-07 16:28:03 2009-04-07 23:28:03 1 0 0 5624 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-04-07 16:57:49 2009-04-07 23:57:49 1 0 0 5625 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-04-07 16:58:52 2009-04-07 23:58:52 1 0 0 5627 laurie96d@yahoo.com 72.254.143.89 2009-04-07 17:06:15 2009-04-08 00:06:15 1 0 0 5630 anoopkumar@mangalick.org http:// 216.156.161.98 2009-04-07 18:12:03 2009-04-08 01:12:03 1 0 71 5637 halfnelson02@hotmail.com http:// 68.103.23.72 2009-04-07 19:40:37 2009-04-08 02:40:37 1 0 32 5640 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-04-07 21:30:50 2009-04-08 04:30:50 1 0 0 5644 glorbot@hotmail.com 24.80.34.155 2009-04-08 00:42:18 2009-04-08 07:42:18 1 0 0 5646 resisti06@gmail.com 66.189.1.140 2009-04-08 05:16:59 2009-04-08 12:16:59 1 0 0 5661 leena.wood@gmail.com 12.116.250.174 2009-04-08 08:04:23 2009-04-08 15:04:23 1 0 0 5663 kathleen_mason@santacatalina.org 63.82.140.108 2009-04-08 08:32:44 2009-04-08 15:32:44 1 0 0 5665 melanie12081@gmail.com http://parenting101thefunnystuff.blogspot.com 69.15.192.122 2009-04-08 08:47:53 2009-04-08 15:47:53 1 0 22 5666 melanie12081@gmail.com http://parenting101thefunnystuff.blogspot.com 69.15.192.122 2009-04-08 08:49:50 2009-04-08 15:49:50 1 0 22 5677 lolli_lew@yahoo.com http://www.helenskor.blogspot.com 205.167.170.9 2009-04-08 09:23:48 2009-04-08 16:23:48 1 0 0 5680 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-04-08 09:26:06 2009-04-08 16:26:06 1 0 0 5701 melanie12081@gmail.com http://parenting101thefunnystuff.blogspot.com 69.15.192.122 2009-04-08 13:00:51 2009-04-08 20:00:51 1 0 22 5707 kathleen_mason@santacatalina.org 63.82.140.108 2009-04-08 13:14:26 2009-04-08 20:14:26 1 0 0 5712 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-04-08 13:28:54 2009-04-08 20:28:54 1 0 0 5718 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-04-08 14:11:53 2009-04-08 21:11:53 1 0 0 5969 notthatserious@aol.com 71.92.211.205 2009-04-12 17:24:56 2009-04-13 00:24:56 1 0 0 5970 funkatronik@yahoo.com 208.120.233.159 2009-04-12 17:47:49 2009-04-13 00:47:49 1 0 0 5971 halfnelson02@hotmail.com http:// 68.103.23.72 2009-04-12 19:39:41 2009-04-13 02:39:41 1 0 32 5992 melanie12081@gmail.com http://parenting101thefunnystuff.blogspot.com 69.15.192.122 2009-04-13 07:45:01 2009-04-13 14:45:01 1 0 22 6052 kathleen_mason@santacatalina.org 63.82.140.108 2009-04-13 14:35:08 2009-04-13 21:35:08 1 0 0 14482 L_bsongs@yahoo.com 24.189.57.49 2009-08-14 06:20:11 2009-08-14 13:20:11 1 0 0 17880 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-09-23 00:45:06 2009-09-23 07:45:06 1 0 5 17881 L_bsongs@yahoo.com 24.189.57.49 2009-09-23 04:26:17 2009-09-23 11:26:17 1 0 0 17883 cj49georgia@yahoo.com 24.159.110.186 2009-09-23 05:05:32 2009-09-23 12:05:32 1 0 0 17887 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-09-23 07:17:49 2009-09-23 14:17:49 1 0 0 17899 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-23 09:59:23 2009-09-23 16:59:23 1 0 0
Was This Old Guy Crazy? http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/05/04/was-this-old-guy-crazy-2/ Mon, 04 May 2009 14:30:49 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=11878 Probably! But That Didn't Make Him Not Sexy!ts-wilhelm-reich

This dude, Wilhelm Reich, believed that by harnessing orgasmic energy (which he called "Orgone," presumably because he got tired of people breaking into giggle fits every time he called it "orgasmic energy") he could do things like cure cancer and control the weather.

He also believed that "Orgone" is plentiful in all forms of bio-matter - humans, flora, fauna, earth. I'm still not sure if that means he believed that the earth has orgasms, but I guess volcanic eruptions, the Old Faithful geyser and various other naturally occurring events might be enough to make one think so.

He developed a nifty thing called "The Orgone Box," which one would sit in while "Orgonic radiation" from the world's Orgonic energy was gathered and then focused in one's body. The purpose of this, to make a long story short, was to both keep ya from goin' crazy AND cure your cancer and shit by improving your orgiastic potency. WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE! Besides the whole sitting in a box for Xenu knows how long, but whatever. Shock treatment and chemo aren't a walk in the park either, I'm told.

He also developed THIS mad-scientisty machine called "The Cloudbuster." Yeah! He called it that! It's scientific! The Cloudbuster was made to suck the Orgone energy out of clouds, thereby MAKING IT RAIN! So how come we aren't using this thing now? Possibly because it doesn't work. Who cares! It looks AWESOME and I wish I had one.

In 1954, the FDA issued a complaint for an injunction against Reich (formerly a card-carrying Communist Party member) for selling the Orgone Box to his patients, claiming that he had made misleading statements about the product. The judge issued an injunction that ordered all Orgone Accumulators and Orgone-related publications be destroyed. Reich was arrested that same year when an associate of his was found to still have an undestroyed Orgone Box. Reich died in prison two years later - from a broken heart (that's a heart attack, to you unfeeling bastards) days before his parole hearing.

Why do I care about this fella? Well, here ya go!

A) I think he meant well. Being crazy doesn't mean you can't be sincere.
B) Come on. Dude was hot. He was the Marlon Brando, or - dare I say it? I do! - the BALE! of Mad Scientists.
C) I can't get over the fact that this dude went to JAIL, here in Amerka, for this. Can you imagine if all the Reiki healers and Scientologists went to JAIL? Yeah, I can too, but that doesn't mean it would be RIGHT.
D) SCIENCE!

Here's a video of Kate Bush's "Cloudbusting," which she wrote from Reich's son's point of view. And yes, that is Donald Sutherland as Wilhelm Reich. What WON'T that guy do for a paycheck? Incidentally, "Orgonon" is the last place Reich lived before he went to jail - it's located near Rangely Lakes in my home state of Maine. It is also where I may or may not have allegedly made out with a bronze bust of Reich.


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11878 2009-05-04 07:30:49 2009-05-04 14:30:49 open closed was-this-old-guy-crazy-2 publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1241439428 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1 7563 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-05-04 07:35:24 2009-05-04 14:35:24 1 0 0 7584 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-05-04 09:54:32 2009-05-04 16:54:32 1 0 29 7934 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.210.54 2009-05-08 20:14:45 2009-05-09 03:14:45 1 0 0 8449 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-05-15 00:30:51 2009-05-15 07:30:51 1 0 5
Was This Vet Crazy? YES HE WAS. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/05/14/was-this-vet-crazy-yes-he-was/ Thu, 14 May 2009 17:49:07 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=12726 A Cautionary Tale. Also A True Story. [caption id="attachment_12744" align="alignright" width="210" caption="I can change your cat into a gerbil!!! No? Why must you hate science!?!"]If you want I can change your cat into a gerbil!!! No? WHY do you hate science!?![/caption]

Last week, I posted a story about a Mad Scientist. Today I'd like to warn you about Mad Veterinarians. THEY ARE OUT THERE.

Eleventy thousand years ago, I became the proud rescuer of two wickedly cute Tonkinese kittens named Tatsuo and Panache. I knew very little about baby kittehs, and I was seriously broke at the time, so I found a clinic where veterinary residents do the work on a sliding scale for po' folk. Also, being neurotic, I had a list of concerns and questions for the young vet.

Here is the list:

  1. Please neuter them. (Not a question, but at the top of the list nonetheless.)
  2. They still have baby teeth. Is that weird and what should I do about it, if anything?
  3. Tatsuo hucks himself in the throat every time he tries to jump from the floor to the counter, so he seems to either be having trouble with his eyes or he is butt-stupid. Suggestions?

Here are the vet's answers:

[caption id="attachment_12729" align="alignright" width="240" caption="Tatsuo, cat of the Orient, hucker of own throat"]Tatsuo, cat of the Orient, hucker of own throat[/caption]
  1. Yes, I can neuter them. BUT! I could give them VASECTOMIES instead! These are exotic cats, and a vasectomy will make it appear that they haven't been, uh, altered.
  2. No, you don't have to worry about their teeth, they'll fall out on their own and if swallowed they'll just dissolve and won't hurt them in any way. BUT! If you're worried about it, I could PULL THEM OUT for you. So you won't worry.
  3. Yes, Tatsuo appears to have trouble focusing. This is a common genetic problem among cats of the Orient. (Yes. He said "cats of the Orient.") BUT! I can PRESCRIBE GLASSES FOR HIM and he will be much happier.


Here are my responses to his answers:

  1. No. I'm okay with just plain ol' neutering, thank you. I'm not planning on "showing" them.
  2. Why would you do that? Do people DO that? You JUST TOLD ME it'd be fine! Don't do that!
  3. Glasses. For my cat. Do people really DO that? HE'S A CAT. I believe he will bat them off. BECAUSE HE'S A CAT. So, no. No glasses.


Aaaand here are his responses to my responses:

[caption id="attachment_12749" align="alignright" width="250" caption="No, seriously, I'm really happy now. 20/20 and all that.  You just...go to sleep..."]No, seriously, I'm really happy now.  You just...go to sleep...[/caption]
  1. Okay. (Although I am going to DO IT THE FUCK ANYWAY because I've never done this procedure and that would be an experience I would like to have.)
  2. Okay. Yes, they will be fine. Just let me know if you change your mind. (pleasepleaseplease.)
  3. Okay. But you know how, when little kids can't see, then they get glasses and they're so happy that NOW THEY CAN SEE that they don't fuss with them? Well, it's the same for cats. And that is why you should get them. He'll be eternally grateful to you for improving the quality of his life through corrective lenses. But if you say you don't want them, that's okay. I guess. (Stupid bitch. You must hate your cat. And SCIENCE.)


[caption id="attachment_12736" align="alignright" width="216" caption="Panache, LOVER of belly rubs"]Panache, LOVER of belly rubs[/caption]

I did not have their teeth yanked out, nor did I get glasses for Tatsuo (he eventually learned to gauge the floor-to-counter distance, and only rarely hucked himself in the throat over the next fourteen years until he died from a congenital heart defect). The vet did, in fact, perform vasectomies on them (WITHOUT MY CONSENT!) causing Panache and Tatsuo to have kitty erections throughout their lives which have done nothing but baffle them. Panache is still alive and well and tries to make out with me whenever I rub his tummy.

The moral of this story: Rookie veterinarians are sometimes a little too eager to do weird stuff to your pet, and may just go ahead and do weird stuff to your pet despite you saying "no, don't do that" because he or she thinks you are a stupid bitch.


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12726 2009-05-14 10:49:07 2009-05-14 17:49:07 open closed was-this-vet-crazy-yes-he-was publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1242325953 _edit_last 9 aktt_tweeted 1 8383 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-05-14 11:04:27 2009-05-14 18:04:27 1 0 0 8394 leena.wood@gmail.com 12.116.250.174 2009-05-14 11:19:59 2009-05-14 18:19:59 1 0 0 8395 lolli_lew@yahoo.com http://www.helenskor.blogspot.com 205.167.170.9 2009-05-14 11:43:10 2009-05-14 18:43:10 1 0 0 8407 melanie12081@gmail.com http://parenting101thefunnystuff.blogspot.com 69.15.192.122 2009-05-14 12:48:36 2009-05-14 19:48:36 1 0 22 8422 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-05-14 16:03:44 2009-05-14 23:03:44 1 0 29 8432 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-05-14 18:14:06 2009-05-15 01:14:06 1 0 5 8433 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-05-14 18:46:19 2009-05-15 01:46:19 1 0 0 8434 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-05-14 18:56:14 2009-05-15 01:56:14 1 0 0 8438 KAT7962@hotmail.com 63.226.217.38 2009-05-14 19:29:35 2009-05-15 02:29:35 1 0 0 8448 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-05-14 23:59:47 2009-05-15 06:59:47 1 0 5
What Is Wrong With You, Marion Barry. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/07/07/what-is-wrong-with-you-marion-barry/ Tue, 07 Jul 2009 15:30:09 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=17223 This Fucking Guyts-barry

Marion Barry, inexplicably three-time elected Mayor (now Councilman) of Washington, DC, has been arrested for doing some more stupid shit. Again.
Before I get into details, let's recap some of Cracky's greatest hits, shall we?

1990 - Arrested when hotel surveillance cameras caught Barry smoking crack with a hooker, after which he served six months in Club Fed.
2002 - Arrested for possession of cocaine and weed found in his car during a routine traffic stop.
2005 - Put on probation for not filing or paying income taxes for years. During the hearing, his mandatory drug screening tested positive for cocaine and marijuana.
2006 - Was pulled over on suspicion of driving under the influence when he was seen stopping at a green light, and then running a red light - at which point he was also found to be driving an unregistered vehicle with the wrong tags.
2006 - On an entirely separate occasion, Barry was stopped for a minor traffic violation, whereupon it was found that he'd been driving on a suspended license.
2008 - Again, failed to file or pay his taxes, extending his probation to 2011.

Which brings us to Fourth of July weekend, 2009! At 8:45 PM Saturday night, police were flagged down by a woman claiming that another driver was stalking and harassing her. Guess who! Naw, I'll tell you. Marion Barry.

Here's the thing. Barry claims that all of his arrests over the years have been a result of racism. And you know what? He might be right. I don't know a single black man who doesn't get pulled over regularly for bullshit reasons. However, none of THOSE men are high profile drug addicted corrupt politicians known to almost always have crack cocaine in THEIR cars, so, there's that.

My advice to you, Marion Barry: When you get caught doing stupid shit, then yell and scream that you were profiled by The Man, you don't win any points for civil rights. You just win points for being a self-serving dumbass.

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17223 2009-07-07 08:30:09 2009-07-07 15:30:09 open closed what-is-wrong-with-you-marion-barry publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1246996151 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1 11544 chelsealberry@gmail.com 71.62.61.1 2009-07-07 08:37:30 2009-07-07 15:37:30 1 0 34 11546 bugcode21@yahoo.com http://stacysedai.blogspot.com/ 165.112.62.194 2009-07-07 08:58:30 2009-07-07 15:58:30 1 0 51 11548 melanie12081@gmail.com http://parenting101thefunnystuff.blogspot.com 69.15.192.122 2009-07-07 09:08:13 2009-07-07 16:08:13 1 0 22 11559 anoopkumar@mangalick.org http:// 216.156.161.98 2009-07-07 11:03:56 2009-07-07 18:03:56 1 0 71 11562 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-07-07 11:13:42 2009-07-07 18:13:42 1 0 0 11592 halfnelson02@hotmail.com http:// 68.103.23.72 2009-07-07 17:44:02 2009-07-08 00:44:02 1 0 32 11593 halfnelson02@hotmail.com http:// 68.103.23.72 2009-07-07 17:44:51 2009-07-08 00:44:51 1 0 32 11594 anoopkumar@mangalick.org http:// 216.156.161.98 2009-07-07 17:52:20 2009-07-08 00:52:20 1 0 71
Naked Man Flying http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/07/08/naked-man-flying/ Wed, 08 Jul 2009 16:30:22 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=17281 PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ONts-naked-plane

Last week, this guy decided he wanted to be naked on an airplane--unfortunately, not in the good way.)  Fifty year old Keith Wright took all his clothes off on a US Airways flight from Charlotte to Los Angeles.
A flight attendant attempted to cover him with a blanket, which he promptly threw off (although I can't say I blame him for THAT. Those airline blankets are suspect - who wants THAT on their junk.) Wright then began punching and kicking the attendant, who asked two off-duty police officers who happened to be on board for help. They were able to handcuff Crazy McNakedson and get him under control until an emergency landing was made in Albequerque, NM.

Why are people in the throes of mania always so adamant about not wanting to wear clothes in public? It's as though there's a checklist for mental breakdowns:

1. Remove clothes for NO REASON.
2. Make a scene if anyone suggests that perhaps the clothes should go back on.
3. Go completely apeshit.

Why can't people have manias that start with, say, offering a puppy to everyone? They don't have to be real puppies; it's the thought that counts. I'm jus' sayin'. Start out on a warm note, then maybe people won't mind so much when you insist on taking off your clothes.

Source.

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17281 2009-07-08 09:30:22 2009-07-08 16:30:22 open closed naked-man-flying publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_lock 1247045523 _edit_last 8 aktt_notify_twitter yes 11621 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-07-08 10:19:03 2009-07-08 17:19:03 1 0 0 11622 roxylee19@hotmail.com 96.10.1.100 2009-07-08 10:23:38 2009-07-08 17:23:38 1 0 0 11626 elizabeth_bloch@hotmail.com 12.238.161.177 2009-07-08 10:44:03 2009-07-08 17:44:03 1 0 0 11630 igandy@gmail.com 64.60.65.90 2009-07-08 11:36:02 2009-07-08 18:36:02 1 0 0 11676 laurie96d@yahoo.com 68.115.44.2 2009-07-08 18:53:15 2009-07-09 01:53:15 1 0 0 11678 glorbot@hotmail.com 96.49.73.242 2009-07-08 19:24:17 2009-07-09 02:24:17 1 0 0 11682 Sarah@thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-07-08 22:25:21 2009-07-09 05:25:21 1 0 0
Video Thunderdome! http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/07/10/video-thunderdome-18/ Fri, 10 Jul 2009 17:51:34 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=17434 Too Ra Loo Edition ts-thunderdome1

Okay, folks. I have no precedent for this particular Thunderdome, except that this song makes me happy in my pants.

Let me tell you a little about it, kids. I first heard this song in 1982, at the tender age of eight, and immediately wanted to A) dance and sing and do whatever eight year olds do when they're so happy they could 'splode, B) learn how to play the fiddle and C) make that weird guy who sings it - whom I will always know as "Dexy" but whose name is really Kevin Rowland - fall in love with me and re-christen me "Eileen." What. I'M IRISH. It totally could've happened.

Fast forward fifteen years to 1997- now I'm a 23 year old girl, who has been heavily influenced by The Specials, Fishbone, the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, et cetera. Ska, in any form - even the "pop" kind, made me pogo my panties off. So I'm out at a club in little Portland, Maine and all of a sudden I'm hearing the familiar strains of "Come On Eileen" - EXCEPT THIS VERSION'S SKA!
What do I do? Which one do I pick? CAN THERE BE ONLY ONE "COME ON EILEEN?"

And that is why I'm here now. I'm putting them in the Thunderdome, people. YOU'RE gonna have to choose WHICH ONE WILL COME OUT ALIVE.

Oh! And there's a bonus! I have something special to post when the winner is declared. IF YOU CAN CHOOSE ONE!

First up: DeeeeEEEEEEXY'S MIDNIGHT RUNNNNNNERS!

AaaaAAAAnd the contender, SaaaaAAAAVE FERRRRRRRIS!

[poll id="52"]


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17434 2009-07-10 10:51:34 2009-07-10 17:51:34 open closed video-thunderdome-18 publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_lock 1247248432 _edit_last 8 aktt_notify_twitter yes 11762 twilighttwins2@gmail.com 208.39.156.98 2009-07-10 11:49:23 2009-07-10 18:49:23 1 0 0 11769 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-07-10 12:16:25 2009-07-10 19:16:25 1 0 0 11776 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-07-10 12:52:27 2009-07-10 19:52:27 1 0 0 11781 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.217.38 2009-07-10 13:08:43 2009-07-10 20:08:43 1 0 0 11784 cdevol@yahoo.com 65.34.210.91 2009-07-10 13:18:30 2009-07-10 20:18:30 1 0 0 11789 alang2@kc.rr.com 65.26.55.226 2009-07-10 14:01:26 2009-07-10 21:01:26 1 0 0 11805 sacoatsunrise@msn.com 76.179.96.119 2009-07-10 17:01:23 2009-07-11 00:01:23 1 0 0
Video Thunderdome Follow-Up http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/07/13/video-thunderdome-follow-up/ Mon, 13 Jul 2009 16:30:22 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=17618 Because Sarah keeps her promises, yo

Over the weekend y'all voted for Dexy's Midnight Runners' version of Come On Eileen over the Save Ferris' version. (Although, nobody claimed that the  Save Ferris was teh suck, either!)
I'd promised a bonus video once the choice had been made, and I ain't no welsher. Not only am I delivering your bonus, but your bonus comes with an added bonus! Because IT'S ALSO A MONDEGREEN!

YOU get a mondegreen video! YOU get a mondegreen video! EVERYBODY GETS A MONDEGREEN VIDEO!!!

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17618 2009-07-13 09:30:22 2009-07-13 16:30:22 open closed video-thunderdome-follow-up publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1247502428 _edit_last 9 aktt_tweeted 1 11892 cj49georgia@yahoo.com 24.159.110.186 2009-07-13 10:15:14 2009-07-13 17:15:14 1 0 0
ZOMG, ROBOT ZOMBIES! http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/07/17/zomg-robot-zombies/ Fri, 17 Jul 2009 13:30:17 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=17923 My dream AND nightmare hath come true!

eatr-robot-warningThe military has proposed that a robot--known as the Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot, AKA the much more sinister sounding E.A.T.R--clean up some battlefields. This robot can "find, ingest, and extract energy from biomass in the environment - AND OTHER ORGANICALLY BASED ENERGY SOURCES" - i.e., PEOPLE, people!

[caption id="attachment_17932" align="alignleft" width="168" caption="E.A.T.R. of BRAINS!!!"]eatr_450[/caption]

This robot was made to comb fields for biomatter. Fox News claims that this robot is a vegetarian; I have my doubts. I can't help agreeing with this report...

Either way - ZOMG! ZOMBIE ROBOTS!!!!!!1!!1!!!!!1!1111!!



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17923 2009-07-17 06:30:17 2009-07-17 13:30:17 open closed zomg-robot-zombies publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1247862638 _edit_last 5 aktt_tweeted 1 12138 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 99.185.33.99 2009-07-17 08:36:05 2009-07-17 15:36:05 1 0 0 12140 anoopkumar@mangalick.org http:// 216.156.161.98 2009-07-17 08:54:36 2009-07-17 15:54:36 1 0 71 12180 microgrrl@gmail.com 71.203.212.250 2009-07-17 12:31:13 2009-07-17 19:31:13 1 0 0 12183 during.wartime@gmail.com 76.27.123.125 2009-07-17 12:49:56 2009-07-17 19:49:56 1 0 0 12186 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-07-17 13:34:45 2009-07-17 20:34:45 1 0 5 12191 during.wartime@gmail.com 76.27.123.125 2009-07-17 13:46:15 2009-07-17 20:46:15 1 0 0
But What I Really Want to Do is Direct http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/08/03/but-what-i-really-want-to-do-is-direct/ Mon, 03 Aug 2009 15:30:58 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=19302 CrapChop

t35896e4u2oHey, remember having your eyeballs peed in because of the commercial for this movie that always ran back-to-back with the "Girls Gone Wild" ads a few years ago? Well, I know what you're thinking, "That movie looked like a chunk of shit and that's all I need to know about it thankyouverymuch." Well, I'm here to tell you that YOU ARE WRONG ABOUT THAT, MY FRIENDS. Because guess who wrote AND directed that chunk of shit movie? Vince Offer, AKA Vince Shlomi, AKA THE SHAMWOW GUY, AKA That Guy Who Beat Up The Hooker Who Tried To Eat His Tongue.

shlomiAccording to Offer's Wiki page, despite his Shamwow and Slap Chop successes, he claims he is NOT pitchman, but instead considers himself to be a "writer, director and comedian" and "in the film business." The New York Post called Shlomi's movie "the least amusing comedy ever made." Yeah, THE POST. So you KNOW this thing is one hot, steaming flyblown pile of awful. Shlomi also tried to sue Anna Nicole Smith for breach of contract when she backed out of the project BECAUSE SHE WAS WORRIED IT WOULD HURT HER CAREER, further adding to the obviousness of its terribleness.

And speaking of suing peeps, Suey McSlapChop also tried to sue the Farrelly Brothers and Twentieth Century Fox for copyright infringement, claiming that fourteen scenes in "There's Something About Mary" were ripped from "The Underground Comedy Movie." The case was dismissed with prejudice on a motion for summary judgment by order of the court, and Twentieth Century Fox was awarded $66,336.92 in attorney's fees. OH! Also, he sued the Church of Scientology (he's an ex-Scientologist) for some shit that bored me, so I stopped reading about it.

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19302 2009-08-03 08:30:58 2009-08-03 15:30:58 open closed but-what-i-really-want-to-do-is-direct publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1249330926 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1 13549 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-08-03 10:06:21 2009-08-03 17:06:21 1 0 0 13565 anoopkumar@mangalick.org http:// 216.156.161.98 2009-08-03 10:46:52 2009-08-03 17:46:52 1 0 71 13567 jon.j.morin@gmail.com 216.195.184.120 2009-08-03 11:11:27 2009-08-03 18:11:27 1 0 0 13585 igandy@gmail.com 64.60.65.90 2009-08-03 13:22:58 2009-08-03 20:22:58 1 0 0 14935 bakerjames117@gmail.com 72.197.125.87 2009-08-18 17:11:01 2009-08-19 00:11:01 1 0 132 14938 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-08-18 17:37:12 2009-08-19 00:37:12 1 0 0
Ryan O'Neal Puts the Moves on His Daughter at Farrah's Funeral http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/08/03/ryan-oneal-puts-the-moves-on-his-daughter-at-farrahs-funeral/ Mon, 03 Aug 2009 19:20:10 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=19352 Klassy Mack Daddy

article-1023570-06402b480000044d-764_468x646In an interview for Vanity Fair's upcoming September issue, Farrah Fawcett's grief-stricken long-time partner, Ryan O'Neal, tells this story to illustrate his point about being a "hopeless father:"

"I had just put the casket in the hearse and I was watching it drive away when a beautiful blonde woman comes up and embraces me," Ryan told me. "I said to her, ‘You have a drink on you? You have a car?' She said, ‘Daddy, it's me-Tatum!' I was just trying to be funny with a strange Swedish woman, and it's my daughter. It's so sick."

Oh, come now, Ryan. Don't beat yourself up! It's probably not any sicker than Tatum's response:

"That's our relationship in a nutshell," Tatum said when I asked her about it. "You make of it what you will." She sighed. "It had been a few years since we'd seen each other, and he was always a ladies' man, a bon vivant."

Also, the Captain Obvious in me would like to point out that this story begs the question, Ryan, you big, charming douche, shouldn't you wait until AFTER the funeral to start hitting on blonde, Swedish-looking women who are probably your daughter? Okay, that's maybe more of a judgment than a question, but it hadda be said.

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19352 2009-08-03 12:20:10 2009-08-03 19:20:10 open closed ryan-oneal-puts-the-moves-on-his-daughter-at-farrahs-funeral publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_lock 1250219333 _edit_last 8 aktt_notify_twitter yes 13584 alang2@kc.rr.com 65.26.55.226 2009-08-03 13:16:45 2009-08-03 20:16:45 1 0 0 13588 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.31.24.13 2009-08-03 14:34:37 2009-08-03 21:34:37 1 0 0 13590 sfelicityleonard@hotmail.com 24.125.175.212 2009-08-03 15:03:05 2009-08-03 22:03:05 1 0 0 13591 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.198.124 2009-08-03 15:07:48 2009-08-03 22:07:48 1 0 0 13594 halfnelson02@hotmail.com http:// 68.103.23.72 2009-08-03 15:33:05 2009-08-03 22:33:05 1 0 32 13619 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.31.24.13 2009-08-03 20:40:20 2009-08-04 03:40:20 1 0 0 13640 melanie12081@gmail.com http://parenting101thefunnystuff.blogspot.com 69.15.192.122 2009-08-04 08:41:52 2009-08-04 15:41:52 1 0 22
American Drivers: Insisting on Embarrassing the Entire Northern Continent http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/08/04/american-drivers-insisting-on-embarrassing-the-entire-northern-continent/ Tue, 04 Aug 2009 14:30:49 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=19384 Lookout, Josephine! Anozer crazy American who doesn't understand ze metric system!

canada-speed-limit-signHey, Travelin' Americans! Metric system got ya down? Well, maybe you should find out about it before you travel. TO ANYWHERE. This Californian went North to Canada and was TOLD by a highway sign that he could go ONE HUNDRED MILES PER HOUR! Or so he thought, because he had never heard of the metric system, which almost EVERY country other than our own uses--INCLUDING THE NORTHERN ONE THAT IS CONNECTED TO US.

Okay look, I know I'm an American, and that automatically makes me a doosh to every other country in the world, including our North American sister, Canada. HOWEVER, I have personally been to Canada several times and driven along their shining roads WITHOUT getting stopped for speeding, despite not being able to personally translate the Metric System (math, GAH), but I figured out pretty quickly that when the road sign in front of me read "100" that it couldn't POSSIBLY mean 100 miles per hour. COME ON! So what, you got confused? You saw a sign that said "100" and decided you were on the Autobahn? It's CANADA, not Germany! And besides, I don't even know if they let you go that fast on the Autobahn anymore! (I'll let YOU Google if you're interested, because, well, I don't feel like it. I'm an American.)

The moral of this story is, DON'T BE ASSHOLES WHEN YOU TRAVEL, AMERICANS. Like we need any more "Look at ze douchebags! Zey're so stupeed!" publicity.


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19384 2009-08-04 07:30:49 2009-08-04 14:30:49 open closed american-drivers-insisting-on-embarrassing-the-entire-northern-continent publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1254976923 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1 13633 chelsealberry@gmail.com 71.62.61.1 2009-08-04 07:47:00 2009-08-04 14:47:00 1 0 0 13652 missnairne@gwi.net 66.55.199.221 2009-08-04 10:24:04 2009-08-04 17:24:04 1 0 0 13676 jon.j.morin@gmail.com 216.195.184.120 2009-08-04 13:12:08 2009-08-04 20:12:08 1 0 0 13704 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-08-04 21:05:02 2009-08-05 04:05:02 1 0 0 13819 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.31.24.13 2009-08-05 13:59:34 2009-08-05 20:59:34 1 0 0 13820 mae@thundersquee.com 75.128.83.51 2009-08-05 14:08:08 2009-08-05 21:08:08 1 0 0 13965 glorbot@hotmail.com 96.49.73.242 2009-08-06 22:12:58 2009-08-07 05:12:58 1 0 0
"I'm a Rock Star, I'm Not a Feminist!" http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/08/05/im-a-rock-star-im-not-a-feminist/ Wed, 05 Aug 2009 14:30:42 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=19447 You'd better duck, Lady Gaga. My vagina is in a throwing mood.

NOW WITH MORE VIDEO GOODNESS!

lady-gaga1Oh, Lady Gaga, you have narrowly avoided my vagina's wrath (Why? Because I like sex, and I like booze, and I like a catchy tune), that is, you've avoided it UNTIL NOW. I was hoping against hope that, as an arteest (who claims to loves ze gays in a non-demeaning way BUT NOW I WONDER ABOUT THAT, TOO) you would be on MY side, and by that, I mean on the side of women, AKA, uh, you! Have you forgotten that on the arm of every gay man with a ticket to your show there are THREE women?

I understand that the term "feminism" has been weirdly muddled by people who don't understand what feminism is, but while I ain't no Vassar scholar, I think I can at LEAST explain that feminism= EQUALISM. For instance, how 'bout getting equal pay for equal work? How 'bout NOT being treated like you can't speak for yourself in ANY situation (E.g., bill-paying, restaurant situations, bank heists). Lady Gaga, you're newly rich AND you're young--I understand that, right now, you don't HAVE to understand the world the rest of us live in, but you DO have to appeal to your weird, possibly methamphetamine addicted public to sell your kind-of-okay-but-not-really records. And they are mostly, weirdly, women, despite your "Gays Only!" policy.

So here's the moral: don't bite the methamphetamine-addicted hand that feeds you, because that hand will die young and toothless and stop paying for your records (because they're dead), and then you won't get fed.

Video after the jump.

(Editor's note: I have no idea how the video relates to this story, but I admit Lady Gaga ignorance and love Sarah and do not question her wisdom, especially after she handed us a moral like the one above.  I am sure she knows how this fits, and I didn't want to hold things up. Additionally, I love Tom Tom Club and the Talking Heads, so I feel any excuse to listen is a good excuse.  I now return you to your regularly scheduled story.)


Edito's Note: Sarah just sent me the video link she intended for this story.  It makes more sense, but we got to revisit some good music, so it was all worth it, and I'm leaving the Tom Tom Club link.  So thanks Sarah!

Here's the real video:


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19447 2009-08-05 07:30:42 2009-08-05 14:30:42 open closed im-a-rock-star-im-not-a-feminist publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_lock 1250219865 _edit_last 8 aktt_notify_twitter yes 13757 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-08-05 10:24:47 2009-08-05 17:24:47 1 0 0 13763 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.198.124 2009-08-05 10:36:24 2009-08-05 17:36:24 1 0 0 13775 lily@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 71.203.212.250 2009-08-05 11:05:21 2009-08-05 18:05:21 1 0 9 13777 chelseadiamond@hotmail.com 190.10.125.88 2009-08-05 11:21:27 2009-08-05 18:21:27 1 0 0 13780 igandy@gmail.com 64.60.65.90 2009-08-05 11:33:25 2009-08-05 18:33:25 1 0 0 13781 igandy@gmail.com 64.60.65.90 2009-08-05 11:35:29 2009-08-05 18:35:29 1 0 0 13783 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.198.124 2009-08-05 11:38:16 2009-08-05 18:38:16 1 0 0 13784 chelseadiamond@hotmail.com 190.10.125.88 2009-08-05 11:38:55 2009-08-05 18:38:55 1 0 0 13787 chelseadiamond@hotmail.com 190.10.125.88 2009-08-05 11:41:19 2009-08-05 18:41:19 1 0 0 13791 igandy@gmail.com 64.60.65.90 2009-08-05 11:47:35 2009-08-05 18:47:35 1 0 0 13806 mae@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 75.128.83.51 2009-08-05 12:21:01 2009-08-05 19:21:01 1 0 0 13809 chelseadiamond@hotmail.com 190.10.125.88 2009-08-05 12:25:49 2009-08-05 19:25:49 1 0 0 13813 during.wartime@gmail.com 76.27.123.125 2009-08-05 13:27:06 2009-08-05 20:27:06 1 0 0 13828 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-08-05 16:00:23 2009-08-05 23:00:23 1 0 5 13831 jon.j.morin@gmail.com 216.195.184.120 2009-08-05 16:33:50 2009-08-05 23:33:50 1 0 0 13832 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.198.124 2009-08-05 16:45:48 2009-08-05 23:45:48 1 0 0 13836 anoopkumar@mangalick.org http:// 216.156.161.98 2009-08-05 16:58:10 2009-08-05 23:58:10 1 0 71 13954 glorbot@hotmail.com 96.49.73.242 2009-08-06 20:18:20 2009-08-07 03:18:20 1 0 0 14005 L_bsongs@yahoo.com 24.189.57.49 2009-08-07 15:10:04 2009-08-07 22:10:04 1 0 0 14006 L_bsongs@yahoo.com 24.189.57.49 2009-08-07 15:14:33 2009-08-07 22:14:33 1 0 0 14068 microgrrl@gmail.com 71.203.212.250 2009-08-08 16:14:47 2009-08-08 23:14:47 I think, because I think maybe she didn't mean what she said how she said it. :D I should say first that I think Sarah's right and that true meaning of feminism does come down to the things she mentioned, but many of the more militant factions have been confusing pro-woman with anti-male, so loudly and for so long that the term has become associated with them. And I think what she means is that she isn't that...or maybe she's just an idiot and I'm projecting. :) I used to be active in NOW--very active--and ultimately I left because their agenda became less and less about equality, and while I still hold very similar values to them and other second-wave feminist groups, we start differing when when they get militantly gynocentric. I think equality is exactly that. I don't think the best man for a job is a woman. I think the best person for the job is the best person and that whoever he or she is should be compensated based on their abilities. So,when the NOW chapter I was involved in started giving shit to a female politician we helped get elected because she chose the best people to staff her office rather than hiring all women, I decided it was time to go. TMIMO, hiring because someone is female is just as discriminatory as not hiring her for the same reason. Personally, I'd be pissed if I found out I got a job because I was female because that belittles my abilities just as much. When this turned into a rant, I don't know. :D Anyway, after that squabble I left and started including myself more in "post-feminism" because I felt like the gynocentric misandrists were taking over the term and found more like minded people there, but now I just consider myself female, and think of everyone as equal until they prove themselves otherwise. :) I should also say that I am incredibly grateful to NOW and all feminist groups that have shouted at politicians and demanded women be treated as people instead of property, and I'm not belittling anything they have accomplished, because I know the debt we owe them. I'm just saying we differ on certain issues that are very central to my values.]]> 1 0 0 14071 bedbugsandballyhoo@mac.com 69.255.108.193 2009-08-08 18:38:29 2009-08-09 01:38:29 1 0 0
Canada, It's Time to Start Thinking on Your Feet http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/08/06/canada-its-time-to-start-thinking-on-your-feet/ Thu, 06 Aug 2009 21:30:49 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=19643 Really--it's aboot time

for-next-severed-foot-postOkay, SERIOUSLY, what is going on with you, Canada? Why do you have a big "Who do these missing feet belong to?" mystery happening up there? Are there really so many people hopping around on one foot that you can't sort out the ones who've misplaced their OTHER foot? And why aren't those people coming forward and CLAIMING their misplaced feet? Are they too shy or embarrassed, like, "Oh, well, that foot's probably the one I recently lost, but, well, our Mounties have more important things to worry aboot besides MY stupid missing right foot. It'll probably come home soon, anyway. I put a bowl of food and a clean sock on the porch."

I know y'all are polite, but COME ON. There are now FIVE right feet and one left foot that have just turned up--no note or nothing--along your shores, Canada. LOOK ALIVE, MOUNTIES! Get off your damned high horses and GET ON YOUR FEET! You've got a job to do, and that job is to FIND OUT WHO THESE MISSING FEET BELONG TO.

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19643 2009-08-06 14:30:49 2009-08-06 21:30:49 open closed canada-its-time-to-start-thinking-on-your-feet publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1255241822 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1 13912 citizenerased81@gmail.com http://www.myspace.com/oilybohunk7 99.29.7.187 2009-08-06 14:40:00 2009-08-06 21:40:00 1 0 12 13916 missnairne@gwi.net 66.55.199.221 2009-08-06 14:47:43 2009-08-06 21:47:43 1 0 0 13919 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-08-06 14:59:13 2009-08-06 21:59:13 1 0 29 13929 missnairne@gwi.net 66.55.199.221 2009-08-06 16:31:39 2009-08-06 23:31:39 1 0 0 13930 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-08-06 17:04:44 2009-08-07 00:04:44 1 0 29 13932 microgrrl@gmail.com 71.203.212.250 2009-08-06 17:44:58 2009-08-07 00:44:58 1 0 0 13933 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-08-06 18:03:24 2009-08-07 01:03:24 1 0 5 13935 glorbot@hotmail.com 96.49.73.242 2009-08-06 19:22:51 2009-08-07 02:22:51 1 0 0 13941 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.190.208 2009-08-06 19:38:42 2009-08-07 02:38:42 1 0 0 13943 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.190.208 2009-08-06 19:40:04 2009-08-07 02:40:04 1 0 0 13947 amy@theunitedchurches.org 71.217.126.130 2009-08-06 19:56:29 2009-08-07 02:56:29 1 0 0 13949 glorbot@hotmail.com 96.49.73.242 2009-08-06 20:04:22 2009-08-07 03:04:22 1 0 0 13974 lolli_lew@yahoo.com http://www.helenskor.blogspot.com 205.167.170.9 2009-08-07 06:54:02 2009-08-07 13:54:02 1 0 0 13981 ririsan@gmail.com 71.203.212.250 2009-08-07 09:47:56 2009-08-07 16:47:56 1 0 9 13984 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.198.124 2009-08-07 10:01:51 2009-08-07 17:01:51 1 0 0 13994 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-08-07 11:03:06 2009-08-07 18:03:06 1 0 29 14026 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.190.208 2009-08-07 20:53:17 2009-08-08 03:53:17 1 0 0 14047 xeresa@cox.net 72.220.168.93 2009-08-08 10:42:27 2009-08-08 17:42:27 1 0 0 14200 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-08-11 01:09:01 2009-08-11 08:09:01 1 0 5 14276 igandy@gmail.com 76.169.80.172 2009-08-11 23:50:56 2009-08-12 06:50:56 1 0 0
Apparently, We Have A Feet Problem, Too. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/08/10/apparently-we-have-a-feet-problem-too/ Mon, 10 Aug 2009 15:00:43 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=19845 But There's Still Reason To Believe It's Canada's Fault ts-feet

Last week, I wrote a post condemning Canada for not figuring out their Mystery Feet problem yet. Shortly afterward, a friend sent me this link.  Because I am easily distracted, I initially only skimmed this article. I saw the headline, "Ontario recycling center finds human foot," and thought yeah, Ontario, feet, mystery--I just posted a thing about this, right? Unfortunately, I didn't read closely enough to realize that the "Ontario" in question was Ontario County, New York, US of A. My friend was trying to tell me that we might have a feet issue HERE. I know this because when he sent it, he said something akin to "We might have a feet issue HERE." I will now publicly apologize to my unnamed source, whose name is Nick (or maybe it isn't and I'm protecting Nick's identity! What. I'm a professional.)

Now, the Democrat and National article DOES say that the recycling came from at least 15 counties in New York and areas in Canada. SO IT COULD STILL BE A CANADIAN ISS-YEW. I'm not letting them and their misplaced "U"s off the hook yet.

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19845 2009-08-10 08:00:43 2009-08-10 15:00:43 open closed apparently-we-have-a-feet-problem-too publish 0 0 post _edit_last 8 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1249934511 aktt_tweeted 1 14152 glorbot@hotmail.com 75.157.226.216 2009-08-10 13:15:04 2009-08-10 20:15:04 1 0 0 14157 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-08-10 14:38:13 2009-08-10 21:38:13 1 0 8
Does This Explain Canada's Feet Problem? http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/08/10/does-this-explain-canadas-feet-problem/ Mon, 10 Aug 2009 20:00:26 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=19890 Are your bears loping, or are they limping?blkbear

UPDATE ON THE NEW YORK FOOT SITUATION:

Turns out, it was a bear's foot. I am still casting suspicious glances at Canada, though. Has your Foot Investigative Unit checked for hobbled bears, Canada? WELL?


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19890 2009-08-10 13:00:26 2009-08-10 20:00:26 open closed does-this-explain-canadas-feet-problem publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1249934498 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1 14147 glorbot@hotmail.com 75.157.226.216 2009-08-10 13:07:21 2009-08-10 20:07:21 1 0 0 14173 igandy@gmail.com 76.169.80.172 2009-08-10 19:42:14 2009-08-11 02:42:14 1 0 0 14174 igandy@gmail.com 76.169.80.172 2009-08-10 19:42:29 2009-08-11 02:42:29 1 0 0 14178 amy@theunitedchurches.org 71.217.105.152 2009-08-10 19:58:51 2009-08-11 02:58:51 1 0 0 14198 glorbot@hotmail.com 96.49.73.242 2009-08-10 23:53:30 2009-08-11 06:53:30 1 0 0
Gimme That Dora The Explorer Knapsack Or I Will Bust A Cap In Yo' Ass http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/08/11/gimme-that-dora-the-explorer-knapsack-or-i-will-bust-a-cap-in-yo-ass/ Tue, 11 Aug 2009 13:00:46 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=19969 robbery_tmb0000_20090810222042_320_240Swiper, no swiping!

This man robbed a toddler yesterday while she was at a deli with her aunt.

Now, one must assume that this little girl must have looked very, very rich. Maybe she was wearing her diamond-and-Swarovski encrusted Osh Kosh B'Goshes, possibly with elbow gloves and a tiara. And she MUST have been eating that deli's finest fish-sticks-and-french-fries dish. SHE WAS FLAUNTING HER WEALTH! There she sat eating her fine food, with her devil-may-care attitude, legs swinging, bag carelessly slung across the table. How could that bag NOT contain riches beyond imagination? How could a young man of twenty-three, perhaps in need of a haircut (for he was later found at a nearby barber shop) resist the allure -  nay! - THE SEDUCTION of such an obvious gift? HE HAD TO TAKE IT! He HAD to know - even for just a few fleeting, glorious moments - how it feels to HOLD that kind of wealth, to be able to look proudly into another's face and say "I MATTER! And I can prove it with CASH! Of which I believe, in this Dora The Explorer Knapsack, there is PLENTY!"

One can only imagine the crushing disappointment when, upon opening the lush Dora The Explorer backpack, only a few dollars were found. In CHANGE, no less! OH, THE CRUELTY! Our young protagonist (Walter Brown, of Wilmington, Delaware) would have to suffer the embarrassment not only of having to pay for his haircut mostly out of HIS OWN POCKET, but also of having to finish payment of that service by dumping out an assload of nickels and pennies; OH, plus the added humiliation of having been caught after ROBBING A THREE-YEAR-OLD.

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19969 2009-08-11 06:00:46 2009-08-11 13:00:46 open closed gimme-that-dora-the-explorer-knapsack-or-i-will-bust-a-cap-in-yo-ass publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1258887299 _edit_last 5 aktt_tweeted 1 14208 lolli_lew@yahoo.com http://www.helenskor.blogspot.com 205.167.170.9 2009-08-11 08:09:26 2009-08-11 15:09:26 1 0 0 14209 twilighttwins2@gmail.com 208.39.156.98 2009-08-11 08:11:21 2009-08-11 15:11:21 1 0 0 14228 Funkatronik@Yahoo.com 198.182.154.4 2009-08-11 12:36:43 2009-08-11 19:36:43 1 0 0 14240 missnairne@gwi.net 66.55.199.221 2009-08-11 14:17:04 2009-08-11 21:17:04 1 0 0 14262 KAT7962@hotmail.com 63.226.221.52 2009-08-11 20:20:35 2009-08-12 03:20:35 1 0 0 14267 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.190.208 2009-08-11 20:58:19 2009-08-12 03:58:19 1 0 0 14310 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.190.208 2009-08-12 10:00:42 2009-08-12 17:00:42 1 0 0 14328 KAT7962@hotmail.com 63.226.221.52 2009-08-12 12:03:21 2009-08-12 19:03:21 1 0 0
Karl Lagerfeld, My Vagina Would Like to Meet You in the Applebee's Parking Lot, STAT. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/08/13/karl-lagerfeld-my-vagina-would-like-to-meet-you-in-the-applebees-parking-lot-stat/ Thu, 13 Aug 2009 14:30:08 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=20170 karl_lagerfeld5b15dTo discuss fashion! Also your hatred of women!

I will happily admit that I LOVE fashion. I LOVE IT. I watch it, I pay attention to it, I want to be near it, and at times I have invested far too much money in it. Now, I am aware that as a feminist whose vagina gets angry and throws things from time to time, that may seem counterproductive. Well, sometimes it is. And for the most part, I can laugh off the stupidity that fashion and fashion designers sometimes have to offer. THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE TIMES, Y'ALL.

For the September issue of Harper's Bazaar, Karl Lagerfeld decided to "channel" the spirit of Coco Chanel (in honor of the upcoming film Coco Before Chanel.) The following is an excerpt of that interview:

Harper’s Bazaar: Your clothing liberated women in the 1920s. Are you still a feminist?
Karl Lagerfeld as Coco Chanel: I was never a feminist because I was never ugly enough for that.

Oh, Karl! It's SO funny that you say that! You know why? BECAUSE YOU ARE TALKING TO WOMEN. Specifically, women who love, buy and wear fashion, or they wouldn't be reading Harper's Bazaar. Women who have style! And money OF THEIR OWN! Women who remember when you were REALLY overweight, and didn't hold it against you! And now that you've LOST the weight and are walking around with your orange makeup and your leathery skin and your Kim Jong Il sunglasses and your weird insistence on carrying around that paper fan you picked up in Chinatown EVERYWHERE, have STILL been tactful enough to not stop you and say, "OH, honey. NO." Not because they're not thinking it, but because they respect your work.

Now, I'm not saying that people will suddenly stop buying your designs because the word is out that you so dislike the women who buy your clothes. I'm just saying the next time your limo pulls into a dark parking lot so that you can inhale that to-go plate of riblets and mac 'n' cheese (trust me, Karl, we know how your kind operates,) well, maybe you should make sure your doors are locked and vagina-proofed.

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20170 2009-08-13 07:30:08 2009-08-13 14:30:08 open closed karl-lagerfeld-my-vagina-would-like-to-meet-you-in-the-applebees-parking-lot-stat publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_lock 1254723571 _edit_last 8 aktt_notify_twitter yes 14369 leena.wood@gmail.com 63.246.10.132 2009-08-13 07:47:49 2009-08-13 14:47:49 1 0 0 14372 mae@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 75.128.83.51 2009-08-13 08:30:23 2009-08-13 15:30:23 1 0 13 14375 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-08-13 08:49:05 2009-08-13 15:49:05 1 0 0 14377 ririsan@gmail.com 71.203.212.250 2009-08-13 08:56:10 2009-08-13 15:56:10 1 0 0 14393 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-08-13 10:48:09 2009-08-13 17:48:09 1 0 0 14437 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.190.208 2009-08-13 14:01:50 2009-08-13 21:01:50 1 0 0 14461 glorbot@hotmail.com 96.49.73.242 2009-08-13 20:48:43 2009-08-14 03:48:43 1 0 0 14479 L_bsongs@yahoo.com 24.189.57.49 2009-08-14 05:31:45 2009-08-14 12:31:45 1 0 0 14484 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-08-14 07:25:57 2009-08-14 14:25:57 1 0 0 14485 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.221.52 2009-08-14 07:28:47 2009-08-14 14:28:47 1 0 0 14500 lolli_lew@yahoo.com http://www.helenskor.blogspot.com 205.167.170.9 2009-08-14 08:17:36 2009-08-14 15:17:36 1 0 0 14687 halfnelson02@hotmail.com http:// 68.103.23.72 2009-08-15 21:05:11 2009-08-16 04:05:11 1 0 32 18119 shelbymorrow1@yahoo.com 76.171.254.118 2009-09-26 21:03:20 2009-09-27 04:03:20 1 0 0 18120 shelbymorrow1@yahoo.com 76.171.254.118 2009-09-26 21:05:17 2009-09-27 04:05:17 1 0 0 18122 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-09-26 21:20:34 2009-09-27 04:20:34 1 0 0 18123 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 76.94.222.44 2009-09-26 21:24:54 2009-09-27 04:24:54 1 0 0 18124 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 76.94.222.44 2009-09-26 21:42:53 2009-09-27 04:42:53 1 0 0 18125 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-09-26 21:43:12 2009-09-27 04:43:12 1 0 0 18126 halfnelson02@hotmail.com http:// 68.103.23.72 2009-09-26 21:43:19 2009-09-27 04:43:19 1 0 32 18130 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-09-26 22:24:04 2009-09-27 05:24:04 1 0 5 18132 halfnelson02@hotmail.com http:// 68.103.23.72 2009-09-26 22:27:22 2009-09-27 05:27:22 1 0 32 18133 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-09-26 22:30:33 2009-09-27 05:30:33 1 0 0 18135 Mae@thundersquee.com 166.205.5.165 2009-09-26 23:31:06 2009-09-27 06:31:06 1 0 0 18136 Mae@thundersquee.com 166.205.5.165 2009-09-26 23:36:28 2009-09-27 06:36:28 1 0 0 18138 alang2@Kc.rr.com 65.26.55.226 2009-09-27 06:38:09 2009-09-27 13:38:09 1 0 0 18145 Mae@thundersquee.com 166.205.5.165 2009-09-27 14:40:36 2009-09-27 21:40:36 1 0 0 18225 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-09-28 19:16:38 2009-09-29 02:16:38 1 0 8
Oh, Tucker Max. Your Name Alone Is Enough To Make A Girl's Vagina Wanna Throw Stuff. *sigh* http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/08/18/oh-tucker-max-your-name-alone-is-enough-to-make-a-girls-vagina-wanna-throw-stuff-sigh/ Tue, 18 Aug 2009 15:30:30 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=20622 And Not In A Way That You Will Benefit From, Despite Your Assholish Charm.

Guess what, y'all! Tucker Max's book, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell IS NOW A MOVIE! And you know what the most hi-LAIR-iously fucking funny thing about it is?

Nothing. And I'm not talking from a strictly vagina-throwing perspective. This movie looks almost unbelievably unfunny. It's like they made it unfunny ON PURPOSE.

In fact, I think I've seen this kind of unfunny in a trailer before... .

(Thanks to Cait for the tip!)


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20622 2009-08-18 08:30:30 2009-08-18 15:30:30 open closed oh-tucker-max-your-name-alone-is-enough-to-make-a-girls-vagina-wanna-throw-stuff-sigh publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_lock 1250597474 _edit_last 6 aktt_notify_twitter yes 14898 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-08-18 11:15:32 2009-08-18 18:15:32 1 0 0 14902 caitrinmuldoon@gmail.com http:// 72.215.214.246 2009-08-18 11:21:58 2009-08-18 18:21:58 1 0 39 14909 lolli_lew@yahoo.com http://www.helenskor.blogspot.com 205.167.170.9 2009-08-18 11:33:01 2009-08-18 18:33:01 1 0 0 14913 bedbugsandballyhoo@mac.com http:// 69.243.102.110 2009-08-18 11:45:47 2009-08-18 18:45:47 1 0 64 14914 BLONDEE956@AOL.COM 97.125.199.48 2009-08-18 11:47:47 2009-08-18 18:47:47 1 0 0 14915 alang2@kc.rr.com 65.26.55.226 2009-08-18 11:49:28 2009-08-18 18:49:28 1 0 0 14917 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-08-18 11:53:23 2009-08-18 18:53:23 1 0 5 14957 halfnelson02@hotmail.com http:// 68.103.23.72 2009-08-18 20:23:12 2009-08-19 03:23:12 1 0 32 14959 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.218.137 2009-08-18 20:29:30 2009-08-19 03:29:30 1 0 0 15123 rabuyousef@gmail.com http://www.r-innovations.com 60.234.134.222 2009-08-20 07:04:25 2009-08-20 14:04:25 1 0 0 15126 cdevol@yahoo.com 66.194.235.133 2009-08-20 07:14:46 2009-08-20 14:14:46 1 0 0
Munchausen-By-Internet? http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/08/19/munchausen-by-internet/ Wed, 19 Aug 2009 13:30:55 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=20718 'Cause Pseuicide Is Painless

So, you know how people sometimes use the interwebz as a place to perform various acts of fuckery that in Real Life they might not otherwise do, because of that whole anonymity thing? I'm not talking about harmless shenanigans, (such as, say, calling one's self "Miss Sands, Drinkin' Out Of Cups" and then posting comments in the voice of a beloved talking lizard) - I'm talking about people like the ones Lisa(#1) posted a story about, or people who use the internet as a way to manipulate strangers into giving them money, or use it to prey on children, or people who come up with completely fictitious online personalities and then build online relationships with various online communities and then manipulate those communities into giving them sympathy for some illness that they don't actually have... or their own death that didn't actually happen.

Well, right now I'm talking specifically about that last group of people. Some are sadistic "lulzers," attention-seekers who think it's really fun to fuck with peeps. Others, according to Dr. Marc Feldman - a clinical psychiatrist at the University of Alabama - are sufferers of a psychiatric disorder he calls "Munchausen-by-Internet." Here's an example:

Any investigation into fake online deaths soon encounters the name "limeybean", the online moniker of one of the most notorious and far-reaching fakes, which originated in the UK in late 2005. Limeybean was the 18-year-old daughter of immigrants to London, with a family history of tuberculosis. She was a popular and prominent contributor to a Harry Potter fan community, and a prodigious writer of journals, on which she announced one day that she too had been diagnosed with the same rare strand of untreatable TB that had killed her father and twin brother.

As limeybean struggled gamely with her illness, she garnered a huge following of admiring, concerned readers, who offered their support via email and in comments on her blog, sometimes even talking to her in conversations punctuated by coughs and wheezes. When limeybean eventually succumbed to her illness, news relayed on a confidante's MySpace page, there was an unprecedented outpouring of grief from numerous other friends who had drawn strength and inspiration from her battle.

But you know what? "limeybean" got called out by a suspicious reader who did some investigatin', and she MIRACULOUSLY ROSE FROM THE DEAD, only to half-apologize with the following statement:

"So we're clear, I had never intended for things to go this way. I had not meant to 'die' from the beginning, but I wanted an escape and it gave me one should I ever want to leave. I've always had a problem when it comes to telling the truth on the internet, to be honest. After realising the effect my bravery in my illness had on people, I then used it as a vehicle to try and get some of the idiot emo kids on LJ to buck up and realise they don't really have it all that bad … the lie was worth something, wasn't it? How bad is a lie if it helps?"

I think one commenter said it best with this:

"Let me be the first to welcome you back to the land of the living. Now go fuck yourself."


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20718 2009-08-19 06:30:55 2009-08-19 13:30:55 open closed munchausen-by-internet publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1250752452 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1 14978 cdevol@yahoo.com 66.194.235.133 2009-08-19 06:41:36 2009-08-19 13:41:36 1 0 0 14984 citizenerased81@gmail.com http://www.myspace.com/oilybohunk7 24.247.242.90 2009-08-19 07:41:52 2009-08-19 14:41:52 1 0 12 15009 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-08-19 10:01:43 2009-08-19 17:01:43 1 0 0 15025 during.wartime@gmail.com 76.27.123.125 2009-08-19 10:23:36 2009-08-19 17:23:36 turn. Also also, fucking Twilight was an abortion.]]> 1 0 0 15027 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.218.137 2009-08-19 10:24:38 2009-08-19 17:24:38 1 0 0 15028 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.218.137 2009-08-19 10:25:14 2009-08-19 17:25:14 1 0 0 15030 during.wartime@gmail.com 76.27.123.125 2009-08-19 10:31:03 2009-08-19 17:31:03 1 0 0 15039 bedbugsandballyhoo@me.com http:// 69.243.102.110 2009-08-19 11:13:22 2009-08-19 18:13:22 1 0 40 15107 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-08-19 22:21:32 2009-08-20 05:21:32 1 0 5 15108 during.wartime@gmail.com 76.27.123.125 2009-08-19 22:53:35 2009-08-20 05:53:35 undead and totes reanimated like. So get your lawnmower(no cliky! gory! i wurnsed u!) and take care of me NAO! Either that, or build me a triBUTTE.]]> 1 0 0 15109 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-08-19 23:25:10 2009-08-20 06:25:10 1 0 5
Sar, Project Runway Would Like To Wish You A Happy Birthday. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/08/20/sar-project-runway-would-like-to-wish-you-a-happy-birthday/ Thu, 20 Aug 2009 14:00:16 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=20863 Uh, From Me. And Them, Maybe!

You know what today is? It's SAR'S BIRTHDAY! And it's also the new season of Project Runway! Which also happens to be SAR'S FAVORITE SHOW (I think!) Now, none of us know if Lifetime or Heidi Klum or Tim Gunn or Nina Garcia OR Michael Kors planned it that way since they won't return our calls. So we've decided that it's safe to assume that yes, they DID plan it that way. So, tonight's ProjRun Kickoff is hereby DEDICATED TO SAR! On her somethingth (no we will NOT tell but if you assume "young and wicked cute" you would be right) birthday!!!!

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20863 2009-08-20 07:00:16 2009-08-20 14:00:16 open closed sar-project-runway-would-like-to-wish-you-a-happy-birthday publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1252864791 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1 15124 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-08-20 07:08:00 2009-08-20 14:08:00 1 0 0 15129 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.218.137 2009-08-20 08:43:13 2009-08-20 15:43:13 1 0 0 15130 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-08-20 09:07:20 2009-08-20 16:07:20 1 0 0 15138 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-08-20 10:51:00 2009-08-20 17:51:00 1 0 0 15215 glorbot@hotmail.com 96.49.73.242 2009-08-20 20:06:40 2009-08-21 03:06:40 1 0 0
Video Thunderdome! http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/08/21/video-thunderdome-19/ Fri, 21 Aug 2009 16:24:14 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=20958 Bamboo Kid Version

ThunderdomeIn my last Video Thunderdome, I described part of my early twenties as a frame of reference for "Come On Eileen."
This time, I'd like to take you a little further back, chirruns.

When I was eleven, I walked into a little record store in Brunswick, Maine called "MacBean's Music." Mr. MacBean was sitting at the counter, and brightened upon my entry. I might have been the only customer he had that day. Or that week. He asked me what I was looking for, and I immediately yelled "punk rock!" Now, keep in mind, I WAS ELEVEN. Mr. MacBean looked me up and down and said "I think I have something for you." He went to the corner of the store and came back with The Clash's "Cut The Crap." This man had an entire aisle of punk rock - HARDCORE punk rock! - which I discovered a short time later - but I WAS ELEVEN. And he was a responsible man. So he sold me "Cut The Crap," rather than The Exploited, or Crass, or The Dead Kennedys (again - these came later.)
And guess what. "Cut The Crap" was THE WORST ALBUM THE CLASH EVER MADE. In fact, it might be THE WORST RECORD EVER MADE. But I was eleven, so it made sense to me at the time. It also made me seek out other Clash records - starting with "Combat Rock." Which I still believe is one of the finest records EVER. (Once my tastes grew, I became enamored of "Sandanista!" - still my favorite Clash album, but that's another story for another time. Or not.)

One song from "Combat Rock" always stayed on my mind - not the fun, dance-y songs like "Car Jamming'" or "Rock the Casbah," - although those were awesome and always made my hips move.
But "Straight to Hell" actually made me think, and worry, in a way that music never had before. Every time I heard the line "it ain't Coca-Cola; it's rice" I would get all teary, for reasons that at the time I didn't understand. I listened to it over and over, worrying about Vietnamese children and our country's neglect of them.

Fast forward twenty-four years to last January and Slumdog Millionaire. I hadn't seen the movie yet, but my husband had, and he was all "YOU HAVE TO HEAR THE MUSIC FROM THIS MOVIE!" And then he handed over the soundtrack. It sounded good; I liked it. Then track #4 came on and I stopped what I was doing (washing dishes, or maybe just sitting there, whatever) stunned. I was hearing "Paper Planes" by M.I.A., which heavily samples "Straight to Hell." I started it over, sat down, and listened to it. And I really, REALLY liked it. It's not a cover, however it borrows not only the sound of "Straight to Hell," but also the irony - and I couldn't help being taken back to my original experience of going straight to hell; but in a totally different way.

SO. They're both going into The Thunderdome. Now it's up to you.*



*I did consider putting Lily Allen's version of  "Straight to Hell" in the Thunderdome, but I really, REALLY hate it. And I normally like Lily Allen, so I don't wanna hear about it. It's MY Thunderdome!


[poll id="59"]

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20958 2009-08-21 09:24:14 2009-08-21 16:24:14 open closed video-thunderdome-19 publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1250874065 _edit_last 5 aktt_tweeted 1 15242 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-08-21 09:44:03 2009-08-21 16:44:03 1 0 0 15248 ririsan@gmail.com 71.203.212.250 2009-08-21 10:08:15 2009-08-21 17:08:15 1 0 0 15252 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.218.137 2009-08-21 10:30:59 2009-08-21 17:30:59 1 0 0
Naked Man Flying... Again http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/08/21/naked-man-flying-again/ Fri, 21 Aug 2009 19:50:15 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=21057 I Have Had It With These Mothafuckin' Naked Men On This Mothafuckin' Plane

Hey! Remember that guy last month who insisted on taking off all his clothes and then getting into a fistfight with the attendant, forcing the plane to make an emergency landing? Well. That just happened again. Yesterday, a 21-year-old man allegedly showed his junk to the lady in the seat next to him, then punched her in the face. The flight attendants and some passengers tried to subdue him, but by the time the plane landed and the sheriff's deputies arrested him, dude had managed to take all his damn clothes off.  Now, I can't help thinking that there must be something very fun about being violent while also being naked on an airplane that I just don't know about. And I guess I will continue to not know about it. But if that changes, I'll be sure to let you guys know.

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21057 2009-08-21 12:50:15 2009-08-21 19:50:15 open closed naked-man-flying-again publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1250882051 _edit_last 5 aktt_tweeted 1 15259 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-08-21 13:48:11 2009-08-21 20:48:11 1 0 0 15260 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-08-21 14:16:08 2009-08-21 21:16:08 1 0 0 15262 anoopkumar@mangalick.org http:// 216.156.161.98 2009-08-21 14:31:41 2009-08-21 21:31:41 1 0 71 15301 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-08-21 21:07:02 2009-08-22 04:07:02 1 0 5 15306 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-08-22 08:19:49 2009-08-22 15:19:49 1 0 0 15310 glorbot@hotmail.com 96.49.73.242 2009-08-22 11:06:32 2009-08-22 18:06:32 1 0 0 15322 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-08-22 17:18:56 2009-08-23 00:18:56 1 0 0 15326 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-08-22 20:33:10 2009-08-23 03:33:10 1 0 0 15327 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-08-22 20:59:30 2009-08-23 03:59:30 1 0 0 15330 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-08-23 06:48:29 2009-08-23 13:48:29 1 0 0 15334 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-08-23 09:45:05 2009-08-23 16:45:05 1 0 0 15338 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-08-23 11:15:58 2009-08-23 18:15:58 1 0 0 15341 igandy@gmail.com 76.169.80.172 2009-08-23 12:11:04 2009-08-23 19:11:04 1 0 0 15356 lolli_lew@yahoo.com http://www.helenskor.blogspot.com 205.167.170.9 2009-08-24 08:15:28 2009-08-24 15:15:28 1 0 0 15366 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.218.137 2009-08-24 09:13:59 2009-08-24 16:13:59 1 0 0
Are You Looking At My Butt? http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/08/25/are-you-looking-at-my-butt/ Tue, 25 Aug 2009 13:30:54 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=21177 Well, That's Okay! *WINK!*

You know how, sometimes, you go to your closet and think, "Ugh, I HATE ALL MY PANTS. The rhinestones and embroidery on my back pockets aren't enough to satisfy my longing for something MORE. Why don't ANY of my jeans' backsides do something unexpected? How come people never stare at my ass with an expression of horrified wonder?"

Well, kiddos, those days are over! Because NOW you can own a pair of CUSTOM-MADE "WINKERS (patent pending!)"

These whimsical ass-trocities were thought up and created by William A. Jones, a retired father of five and grandfather of seven who lives in Everett, Washington. One day, while staring at butts, one in particular caught his appreciative eye, and he thought "Is that butt winking at me? Hey! EUREKA! I'm gonna be rich!" And thus, Winkers (again - patent pending, bitches, so STEP OFF) were born.

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21177 2009-08-25 06:30:54 2009-08-25 13:30:54 open closed are-you-looking-at-my-butt publish 0 0 post _edit_last 8 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1254723561 aktt_tweeted 1 15465 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-08-25 06:39:27 2009-08-25 13:39:27 1 0 0 15478 amy@theunitedchurches.org 71.217.120.242 2009-08-25 08:30:43 2009-08-25 15:30:43 1 0 0 15479 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.87.75 2009-08-25 08:32:16 2009-08-25 15:32:16 1 0 8 15481 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-08-25 09:23:58 2009-08-25 16:23:58 1 0 0 15483 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-08-25 09:25:30 2009-08-25 16:25:30 1 0 0 15488 alang2@kc.rr.com 65.26.55.226 2009-08-25 09:35:51 2009-08-25 16:35:51 1 0 0 15503 ispentmysummer@yahoo.com http://www.thundersquee.com 69.2.100.71 2009-08-25 10:40:18 2009-08-25 17:40:18 1 0 0 15511 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-08-25 11:14:37 2009-08-25 18:14:37 1 0 0 15512 missnairne@gwi.net 66.55.199.221 2009-08-25 11:16:51 2009-08-25 18:16:51 1 0 0 15514 amy@theunitedchurches.org 216.161.252.79 2009-08-25 11:24:42 2009-08-25 18:24:42 1 0 0 15520 anoopkumar@mangalick.org http:// 216.156.161.98 2009-08-25 12:02:32 2009-08-25 19:02:32 1 0 71 15521 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-08-25 12:09:30 2009-08-25 19:09:30 1 0 0 15557 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.187.23 2009-08-25 13:48:40 2009-08-25 20:48:40 1 0 0 15558 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.218.137 2009-08-25 13:49:42 2009-08-25 20:49:42 1 0 0 15562 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-08-25 13:56:38 2009-08-25 20:56:38 1 0 0 15572 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-08-25 16:10:31 2009-08-25 23:10:31 1 0 0 15573 jmd1982@yahoo.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.231.218.136 2009-08-25 16:16:59 2009-08-25 23:16:59 1 0 0 15576 mamvolz@hotmail.com http://www.maslanywalker.com 76.99.8.117 2009-08-25 16:32:32 2009-08-25 23:32:32 1 0 0 15608 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-08-25 22:20:35 2009-08-26 05:20:35 1 0 8 15615 glorbot@hotmail.com 96.49.73.242 2009-08-26 00:03:48 2009-08-26 07:03:48 1 0 0 15617 jmd1982@yahoo.com 24.231.218.136 2009-08-26 00:17:09 2009-08-26 07:17:09 1 0 0
What Tastes Better Than A Slim Jim? http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/08/27/what-tastes-better-than-a-slim-jim/ Thu, 27 Aug 2009 14:30:23 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=21417 Horror And Disgust. But You Probably Knew That Already

So, what's IN a Slim Jim, exactly? I bet you never thought you'd ask - neither did I! And I DIDN'T ask! I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW! But now I DO know, and I will tell you whether you want to hear it or not. Because I can't bear this alone. Take a deep breath, sit down, drink some water...wait... what is that you've got in your hand? OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. I see you trying to cram that Slim Jim into your mouth before you learn what's in it! PUT IT DOWN. You'll thank me later, both for saving you from the Slim Jim AND for holding your hair while you vomit (that'll happen in a minute. It's okay. I'm here for you.)

What was I saying? Oh. What's in a Slim Jim. According to ConAgra, the manufacturer, Slim Jims are made from beef, mechanically separated chicken, water, salt, corn syrup, dextrose, flavorings, spice, paprika, hydrolyzed corn gluten, soy and wheat gluten proteins, sodium nitrite and lactic acid starter culture.

Well, let's start with the beef, shall we? There are eight grades of beef classified by the USDA. The bottom three grades are known as "utility," "cutter," and "canner," which are typically used in processed foods. These three grades come from older steers with partially ossified vertebrae, tougher tissue, and generally less reason to live. Some, one, or all of these are part of a Slim Jim - you'll never know which! How fun is THAT?

Next we've got "mechanically separated chicken." According to the USDA, this is "is a paste-like and batter-like meat product produced by forcing bones with attached edible meat under high pressure through a sieve or similar device to separate the bone from the edible meat tissue. In 1982, a final rule published by FSIS on mechanically separated meat said it was safe and established a standard of identity for the food product. Some restrictions were made on how much can be used and the type of products in which it can be used. These restrictions were based on concerns for limited intake of certain components in MSM, like calcium. Due to FSIS regulations enacted in 2004 to protect consumers against Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, mechanically separated beef is considered inedible and is prohibited for use as human food."

Well! Luckily, it's mechanically separated CHICKEN, not beef! So! That's... um....*glurk*... okay...

All right....  I can deal with the rest of the ingredients. I can. Here we go.
Water, salt, corn syrup, dextrose, flavorings, spice, paprika, hydrolyzed corn gluten, soy and wheat gluten proteins, sodium nitrite and lactic acid starter culture. We eat those every day. No big!... Wait. Spice? WHAT SPICE? Like, the kind from Arrakis that will turn my eyes blue and make giant sand-worms come after me?  And what the HELL is "lactic acid starter culture?"

*glurk*

Oh. OH. SOMEBODY COME WITH ME AND HOLD MY HAIR PLEASE.

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21417 2009-08-27 07:30:23 2009-08-27 14:30:23 open closed what-tastes-better-than-a-slim-jim publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1251615780 _edit_last 5 aktt_tweeted 1 15720 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-08-27 08:03:34 2009-08-27 15:03:34 1 0 0 15721 bedbugsandballyhoo@me.com http:// 69.243.102.110 2009-08-27 08:05:00 2009-08-27 15:05:00 1 0 40 15722 bedbugsandballyhoo@me.com http:// 69.243.102.110 2009-08-27 08:07:33 2009-08-27 15:07:33 1 0 40 15735 anoopkumar@mangalick.org http:// 216.156.161.98 2009-08-27 10:09:58 2009-08-27 17:09:58 1 0 71 15739 bakerjames117@gmail.com 138.162.140.52 2009-08-27 10:37:43 2009-08-27 17:37:43 1 0 132 15740 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-08-27 10:42:28 2009-08-27 17:42:28 1 0 0 15742 jmd1982@yahoo.com 24.231.218.136 2009-08-27 10:49:52 2009-08-27 17:49:52 1 0 0 15744 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-08-27 11:04:17 2009-08-27 18:04:17 1 0 0 15745 jmd1982@yahoo.com 24.231.218.136 2009-08-27 11:10:08 2009-08-27 18:10:08 1 0 0 15746 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-08-27 11:17:31 2009-08-27 18:17:31 1 0 0 15752 laurie96d@yahoo.com 72.215.194.114 2009-08-27 12:12:15 2009-08-27 19:12:15 1 0 0 15766 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-08-27 13:34:37 2009-08-27 20:34:37 1 0 0 15770 bakerjames117@gmail.com 138.162.140.55 2009-08-27 15:33:20 2009-08-27 22:33:20 1 0 132 15772 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-08-27 16:35:46 2009-08-27 23:35:46 1 0 0 15936 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-08-30 00:06:04 2009-08-30 07:06:04 1 0 5
Interplanet Janet, She's A Galaxy Girl! http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/01/interplanet-janet-shes-a-galaxy-girl/ Tue, 01 Sep 2009 16:10:27 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=21945 There's Never Been A Planet Janet Hasn't Seen

Happy birthday, Janet, may you continue to discover the universe's endless mysteries!

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21945 2009-09-01 09:10:27 2009-09-01 16:10:27 open closed interplanet-janet-shes-a-galaxy-girl publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1252864704 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1
World's Oldest (And Possibly Cutest) Bitch Dies at 21 http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/01/worlds-oldest-and-possibly-sweetest-bitch-dies-at-21/ Tue, 01 Sep 2009 17:30:23 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=21890 Rest in Peace, Chanel. There's Plenty of Bacon In Heaven.

Chanel, the Guinness World Record winning wirehaired dachshund, died on August 28th of the disease most commonly known as "old." I don't actually know much about her, but what I know is this:
1) She was a sweetie who allowed her owners to dress her stylishly, without complaint.
2) She was CRAZY photogenic.
3) She was known to wander around her home late at night, restlessly looking for snacks.
4) She wore sunglasses! FOR HER HEALTH! (She had cataracts.) Which now makes me feel guilty for denying glasses to my cat.

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21890 2009-09-01 10:30:23 2009-09-01 17:30:23 open closed worlds-oldest-and-possibly-sweetest-bitch-dies-at-21 publish 0 0 post _edit_last 9 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1251817653 aktt_tweeted 1 16138 laurie96d@yahoo.com 72.215.194.114 2009-09-02 10:59:04 2009-09-02 17:59:04 1 0 0 16143 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-09-02 11:37:26 2009-09-02 18:37:26 1 0 0 16151 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.220.234 2009-09-02 13:05:56 2009-09-02 20:05:56 1 0 0
Yes, Everyone Poops. Now Would You PLEASE Stop Diving Into It, Sir http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/02/yes-everyone-poops-now-would-you-please-stop-diving-into-it-sir/ Wed, 02 Sep 2009 17:30:29 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=21999 And Yeah, We Also Know You Didn't Just "Lose Something Down There" For The Eleventieth Time.

Kids, before I get to the story, I should point out that copromania is an actual disorder. There are people out there to whom a dirty sanchez is NOT just a punchline; it's a sad, nasty, stinky reality. Fortunately for the rest of us, they usually enjoy their little fetish quietly and privately (with the exception of that first asshole who found the "Two Girls, One Cup" video and insisted on bombing the entire world with it against our will, causing nightmares, loss of vision by way of self-gouging and PTSD to the general public.) It's horrendous and foul and - oh, look! I just vomited - but for the most part, we never know about it.

Except that now, Maine is having to deal with a serial outhouse pit-diver!  And they kinda don't know what to do with him, because he JUST. WON'T. STOP. Apparently, this man's own, personal poop is just not enough. He wants EVERYONE'S poop.

Gary Moody, of Pittston, Maine, was caught in 2005 hiding in a pit toilet on White Mountain National Forest property in New Hampshire. He pleaded no contest to trespassing, and a judge ordered him to get counseling for whatever had driven him to climb down there. I know what you're thinking: "Maybe he dropped something REALLY valuable down there, like heroin! And if he HADN'T gone through the pit, he would never have gone on to play a young Obi Wan Kenobi in those crappy Star Wars movies! OR maybe he had to go through the pit because his favorite movie star was in town, but his mean brother LOCKED HIM INTO THE OUTHOUSE! And if he HADN'T gone through the pit, he would have never found his long-lost love AND won million dollars on an Indian game show! Respectively!"  Well, that's very generous of you, but NO. Turns out, he just really, really likes poop.

Mr. MoodyMcDoodylover was caught - AGAIN - on Memorial Day weekend this year doing the same thing at a different state park, this one in Maine. He claimed he'd accidentally dropped his shirt into the pit when he'd taken it off SO IT WOULDN'T TOUCH THE SEAT (because outhouse seats are NASTY dirty, y'all!) Naturally, he had to dive into the pit to retrieve it. Which is similar to the "I dropped my wedding band!" story he told when he was caught before. Here's what his arresting officer had to say:

"I told Moody that I did not think that his trips into the outhouse pits had anything to do with dropping things by accident, and asked Moody if I was right," Fors wrote in the affidavit. "Moody said 'yes.'"

Moody admitted that he had been pit-diving more than just the two times he'd been caught. He also had never sought counseling - despite his judge's insistence- for his "outhouse problem," because he had "anger toward society because of how he was treated after he was found in the pit of the National Forest outhouse in 2005." And really, what better way IS there to lash out at The Man than to keep doing the gross thing you were caught doing in the first place? THAT'LL TEACH YOU, SOCIETY!


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21999 2009-09-02 10:30:29 2009-09-02 17:30:29 open closed yes-everyone-poops-now-would-you-please-stop-diving-into-it-sir publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1251908055 _edit_last 9 aktt_tweeted 1 16158 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-02 13:36:58 2009-09-02 20:36:58 1 0 0 16160 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.31.27.146 2009-09-02 13:45:33 2009-09-02 20:45:33 1 0 0 16164 bedbugsandballyhoo@me.com http:// 69.243.102.110 2009-09-02 14:49:06 2009-09-02 21:49:06 1 0 40 16168 missnairne@gwi.net 66.55.199.221 2009-09-02 15:24:22 2009-09-02 22:24:22 1 0 0 16172 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.220.234 2009-09-02 15:39:02 2009-09-02 22:39:02 1 0 0 16183 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-09-02 19:31:17 2009-09-03 02:31:17 soooooo slumdog millionaire.]]> 1 0 8 16186 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-09-02 19:43:00 2009-09-03 02:43:00 1 0 0 16190 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-09-02 20:16:35 2009-09-03 03:16:35 1 0 0
Venus Flytrap = Smooth Jazz. Johnny Fever = Rock 'N' Roll. Herb Tarlek = Plaid Suit. All Three? = Hot Business. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/02/venus-flytrap-smooth-jazz-johnny-fever-rock-n-roll-herb-tarlek-plaid-suit/ Wed, 02 Sep 2009 18:30:41 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=22023 Don't Act Like You've Never Had A Fantasy Involving At Least One Of These Dudes.

Remember "WKRP IN CINCINNATI?" Well, some of you may not, because you're too young. And you know what? You probably shouldn't try to watch it if you don't know what I'm talking about... but for those of you that DO, I suspect you're already hearing the theme song ("baby, if you've ever wondered, wondered, whatever became of me...") in your head and feeling all nostalgic. Remember how Jennifer (played by Loni Anderson) always had a huge amount of cash on her, for no reason (wink, wink)? And how Venus Flytrap tried to get on board for a minute when the station went all "Easy Listening," but Johnny Fever was all "hell no, RAWK 'N' ROLL FOREVAH!!!" Remember how sweet, heroic, heartfelt Andy tried to save the station? And how he and Bailey (one of the original pretty actresses made up to seem mousy, ALA Pam from "The Office") fell in love? And remember how Herb was all "Look at my polyester plaid suit, I wear this 'cause I sell ads and stuff, and that's how salesmen are,"  and OH! Remember when they all had a hot, nasty, sweaty orgy in the recording booth? No? Huh. Weird, because I totally remember that being the series finale. Well, in case you missed it, the porn version just wrapped over the weekend, as well as the porn versions of The Office, Scrubs, Seinfeld, and Friends.

Because apparently, this is what we do with beloved American TV classics, now.

We turn them into porn.

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22023 2009-09-02 11:30:41 2009-09-02 18:30:41 open closed venus-flytrap-smooth-jazz-johnny-fever-rock-n-roll-herb-tarlek-plaid-suit publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1251894719 _edit_last 5 aktt_tweeted 1 16145 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-02 12:26:03 2009-09-02 19:26:03 1 0 0 16146 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-02 12:37:46 2009-09-02 19:37:46 1 0 0 16150 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.220.234 2009-09-02 13:04:44 2009-09-02 20:04:44 1 0 0 16154 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-02 13:16:56 2009-09-02 20:16:56 1 0 0 16166 missnairne@gwi.net 66.55.199.221 2009-09-02 15:13:53 2009-09-02 22:13:53 1 0 0 16167 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-02 15:22:25 2009-09-02 22:22:25 1 0 0 16174 cj49georgia@yahoo.com 24.159.110.186 2009-09-02 16:11:50 2009-09-02 23:11:50 1 0 0 16176 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.220.234 2009-09-02 16:48:45 2009-09-02 23:48:45 1 0 0 16181 halfnelson02@hotmail.com http:// 68.103.23.72 2009-09-02 18:45:42 2009-09-03 01:45:42 1 0 32 16182 keeblerkahn@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com/ 76.20.132.89 2009-09-02 19:19:09 2009-09-03 02:19:09 1 0 0 16193 twilighttwins2@gmail.com 208.39.156.98 2009-09-03 07:59:10 2009-09-03 14:59:10 1 0 0 16356 anoopkumar@mangalick.org http:// 98.221.164.197 2009-09-05 21:17:49 2009-09-06 04:17:49 1 0 71
Afternoon Bale (Whaaa?) http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/02/afternoon-bale-whaaa/ Wed, 02 Sep 2009 19:47:03 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=22042 What is it, someone's birthday?

There is a young Squeer named lava
She just had a new babeh; brava!
Happy birthday to her
Jensen Ack-bale's secured
And waiting with a big, juicy guava.*


*Well, we TRIED to get Jensen Ackles secured for you, anyway. Happy Birthday!

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22042 2009-09-02 12:47:03 2009-09-02 19:47:03 open closed afternoon-bale-whaaa publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1252864694 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1 16147 igandy@gmail.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-02 12:58:45 2009-09-02 19:58:45 1 0 0 16148 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.220.234 2009-09-02 13:01:19 2009-09-02 20:01:19 1 0 0 16149 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-02 13:01:46 2009-09-02 20:01:46 1 0 0 16153 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.31.27.146 2009-09-02 13:08:09 2009-09-02 20:08:09 1 0 0 16163 bedbugsandballyhoo@me.com http:// 69.243.102.110 2009-09-02 14:22:05 2009-09-02 21:22:05 1 0 40 16169 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-02 15:25:24 2009-09-02 22:25:24 1 0 0 16187 krista.c79@gmail.com http:// 142.162.141.49 2009-09-02 19:44:45 2009-09-03 02:44:45 1 0 26
What Is This "Wizard of Oz"? We Must Update It THIS INSTANT! http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/03/what-is-this-wizard-of-oz-we-must-update-it-this-instant/ Thu, 03 Sep 2009 17:13:17 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=22118 "There’s no Baum in it at all."

The Wizard of Oz is a sacred thing, TMIMO.

And as you might know by now, comic books, movies and literature are things I take pretty seriously (in that order.)  I don't like it when they mix badly... and I say this for a specific reason: TODD MCFARLANE and OZ? Well, it's a TERRIBLE IDEA.

Here's why.
Todd McFarlane is known for Spawn, and a few Spiderman comics - but he's mostly known as a marketing guy. He wants you to buy his toys! And he DOES have great toys...  he's become the P.T. Barnum of comics. He's FAR more into marketing than either movies OR comics. He thinks the whole world is a big, fat chump, and THAT'S what keeps him going. I'm sure you can see the irony in this... and if you don't, let me remind you of THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN.

Which brings me back to Oz.

YOU remember it, right? Girl gets caught up in a tornado, lands on a nasty witch with curled toes, gets lost and then links up with a coward, a robot and an airhead, and teaches them ALL how to have courage, empathy, and intelligence,  DESPITE that the Wicked Witch of the West's Flying Monkeys scared the everloving "WHAT THE EFF IS THAT?" out of them. (I don't know what THAT means, but I bet it's something!) Then Dorothy calls out the bastard that caused the whole thing...  It's THE PERFECT STORY! (except for the whole Lollipop Guild thing. That's horrible and you know it.)

Todd McFarlane has this to say, regarding the remake:


We’re in Hollywood, so you have to predicate all statements of that sort with “our intent would be…” I’m sure the higher-ups at Warner Bros. would like to have it on their schedule, and they’re probably moving in that direction. But we’ve seen in our lifetime thousands of cases where things don’t go according to plan, right?

On the state of the script: They’re on their second iteration right now, trying to get it into a zone that makes sense. Josh Olsen wrote a draft that didn’t quite strike Warners fancy. Everyone was a little lukewarm. They wanted it more sexy! So they were going to do a rewrite and get some fresh eyes on it.

Guess what that means, kiddos.

OZ PORN.

I will make NO JUDGMENTS while I sob into this napkin for the loss of my entire childhood.

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22118 2009-09-03 10:13:17 2009-09-03 17:13:17 open closed what-is-this-wizard-of-oz-we-must-update-it-this-instant publish 0 0 post _edit_lock 1252046366 _edit_last 8 aktt_notify_twitter yes aktt_tweeted 1 16203 melanie12081@gmail.com http://parenting101thefunnystuff.blogspot.com 69.15.192.122 2009-09-03 10:27:13 2009-09-03 17:27:13 1 0 22 16204 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-03 10:33:59 2009-09-03 17:33:59 1 0 0 16213 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-09-03 11:30:57 2009-09-03 18:30:57 1 0 0 16216 bakerjames117@gmail.com 138.162.140.53 2009-09-03 11:37:16 2009-09-03 18:37:16 1 0 132
Woman Loses "Identity" Along with 28'4" Fingernails In Car Crash http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/04/woman-loses-identity-along-with-28-foot-long-fingernails-in-car-crash/ Fri, 04 Sep 2009 15:55:09 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=22295 "Sanity" Lost Some Thirty Years Previous

Lee Redmond lost her Guinness World Record-breaking 28-foot-long fingernails in a car crash last February, apparently along with her "identity."

Oh, Lee, when I think about the sacrifices you must have made over the last thirty years in the name of winning that Guinness World Record! All the piano playing you could have been doing. Holding your infant grandchildren (I assume this only because I can't imagine any mother in her right mind putting her baby in those hands.) All the proper personal hygiene you - AND those around you! -  could have been enjoying... well. All I can think is that you, Lee Redmond of Salt Lake City, are truly an inspiration to others who dream of purposely making themselves helpless and completely dependent on others FOR DECADES in order to break a record with something really, really gross. Kudos!

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22295 2009-09-04 08:55:09 2009-09-04 15:55:09 open closed woman-loses-identity-along-with-28-foot-long-fingernails-in-car-crash publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1252051357 _edit_last 5 aktt_tweeted 1 16291 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-09-04 09:20:22 2009-09-04 16:20:22 1 0 0 16295 bedbugsandballyhoo@me.com http:// 69.243.102.110 2009-09-04 11:30:26 2009-09-04 18:30:26 1 0 40 16296 mae@thundersquee.com 75.128.128.88 2009-09-04 12:06:51 2009-09-04 19:06:51 1 0 0 16302 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-04 12:44:07 2009-09-04 19:44:07 1 0 0 16318 laurie96d@yahoo.com 72.215.194.114 2009-09-04 19:14:21 2009-09-05 02:14:21 1 0 0 16322 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-09-04 20:35:33 2009-09-05 03:35:33 1 0 5 16329 halfnelson02@hotmail.com http:// 68.103.23.72 2009-09-05 00:39:30 2009-09-05 07:39:30 1 0 32 16335 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-09-05 13:12:25 2009-09-05 20:12:25 1 0 0 16347 laurie96d@yahoo.com 75.205.103.131 2009-09-05 19:28:37 2009-09-06 02:28:37 1 0 0
Wait. Phil Spector HAS A WIFE? http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/08/wait-phil-spector-has-a-wife/ Tue, 08 Sep 2009 19:15:11 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=22514 "He always listened to classical stuff or his Sixties music, while I prefer Lady Gaga"

In case you don't remember, here's a quick catch-up: Phil Spector MURDERED A WOMAN (Lana Clarkson) IN HIS FOYER, with his own gun, and then claimed that she "accidentally committed suicide."

I'm filing this under "Whaaa?" because I had no idea Phil Spector had a wife. Turns out, he found his new wife pretty much the same way he found Lana Clarkson - whom he was convicted of murdering last April -  she was a pretty girl working in a bar, he gave her a big tip, she went home with him, blah blah blah, the rest is history. The difference is, he found Rachelle Short a month before his trial for murdering Lana Clarkson, gave her a big tip, took her home, AND MARRIED HER.

"When Phillip came in, I didn’t know who he was," she says. "I hadn’t seen the news about the incident. But as I got to know him, I knew he could never have done what they said he did. We got together and he was charged with murder a month after we met. He said he was innocent and I believed him."

Of COURSE YOU DID, sweetie. A nice man who's forty years older than you with a big crazy wig who gives you hundreds of dollars for a tip on an $18 meal and then asks you out can't POSSIBLY be bad! Plus, YOU have a dream of being a pop star, and he's a HUGE producer! Whom you'd never heard of before! But that's okay. LOTS of people don't hear about stuff and things! And you know what? The fact that you'd never heard of Phil Spector despite his decades of fame (and yeah, I'll say it, brilliance) is one thing - but the fact that you had NO idea that this man was about to go on trial for murder - and then married him in SUCH a short time! - well, to me, that just proves that you must really love him! AND that HE loves YOU! I know it's GOT to be breaking your heart that you can't have sexy-time visits with him, since your bond is so emotionally sturdy and heartfelt... but stay strong, Rachelle. I'm sure that your beloved husband will still make your dream of being the next big pop star a reality, just like he promised. Because if you can't trust a guy that you just met, married and watched being convicted of murder, who CAN you trust?

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22514 2009-09-08 12:15:11 2009-09-08 19:15:11 open open wait-phil-spector-has-a-wife publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1252440714 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1 16446 laurie96d@yahoo.com 75.205.62.146 2009-09-08 14:06:08 2009-09-08 21:06:08 1 0 0 16465 roxylee19@hotmail.com 65.191.14.230 2009-09-08 15:35:28 2009-09-08 22:35:28 1 0 0 16481 msfrapples@hotmail.com 71.82.2.197 2009-09-08 17:41:57 2009-09-09 00:41:57 1 0 0 16484 laurie96d@yahoo.com 75.205.62.146 2009-09-08 18:35:45 2009-09-09 01:35:45 1 0 0 16514 anoopkumar@mangalick.org http:// 71.105.16.199 2009-09-09 01:16:52 2009-09-09 08:16:52 1 0 71 16584 chelsealahern@gmail.com 71.62.61.1 2009-09-10 05:54:14 2009-09-10 12:54:14 1 0 0 16585 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-09-10 07:22:53 2009-09-10 14:22:53 1 0 0
CHRIS BROWN ACCUSES OPRAH OF ASSAULT! http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/09/chris-brown-accuses-oprah-of-assault/ Wed, 09 Sep 2009 19:15:52 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=22697 On His Fragile, Fragile Ego

Chris Brown says Oprah SLAPPED HIM IN THE FACE, y'all!
Well, something like that. Here's what he really said, when asked by People Magazine about Oprah's show on domestic abuse, inspired by Rihanna:

"I commend Oprah on being like, 'This is a problem,' but it was a slap in my face. I did a lot of stuff for her, like going to Africa and performing for her school. She could have been more helpful, like, 'OK, I'm going to help both of these people out.' "

Oprah! How could you be so spiteful, so thoughtless, so ungrateful to this young man who has DONE SO MUCH FOR YOU? He went to Africa AND PERFORMED AT YOUR SCHOOL! Apparently, Oprah, you have violated one of the most basic of rules, which is "I go perform in Africa for you; now you don't defend the girl whose face I mercilessly beat to a bloody pulp." Really, Oprah. Manners!

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22697 2009-09-09 12:15:52 2009-09-09 19:15:52 open open chris-brown-accuses-oprah-of-assault publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1254128582 _edit_last 5 aktt_tweeted 1 16551 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.31.27.146 2009-09-09 13:56:42 2009-09-09 20:56:42 1 0 0 16580 chelsealahern@gmail.com 71.62.61.1 2009-09-10 05:03:08 2009-09-10 12:03:08 1 0 0 16592 audio_addiction@hotmail.com 129.128.204.63 2009-09-10 08:00:43 2009-09-10 15:00:43 1 0 0
Man's Practical Joke Goes Unappreciated http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/10/mans-practical-joke-goes-unappreciated/ Thu, 10 Sep 2009 15:00:01 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=22724 Do-Gooders, Jellyfish Pay Price

You know how sometimes people think they're playing an hilarious practical joke, but because it's really douchey and unfunny nobody laughs? And then the guy playing the "practical joke" gets all pissed, and starts acting even douchier? You know the type; we all do. Well, here is a story about just that guy.

Keith Edward Marriott, 41, was at Madeira Beach in Florida on Monday, and thought of the funniest practical joke ever! He pretended he was DROWNING! Apparently, the first person who tried to rescue him didn't respond by breaking into belly laughs when Keith yelled "Ha-Ha!" so he decided to keep doing it until he found someone with a sense of humor. Which never happened, despite his repeated performance of this riotously witty joke. Surely, you can understand how very frustrating this must have been for Keith!

Well. Everyone has their breaking point, people. Keith finally got angry at all the humorless strangers on the beach for not "getting" his joke. That's when he began flinging jellyfish at them. And really, who among us can say that they didn't deserve it?

Jellyfish are also notorious for their inability to take a joke, so you KNOW they deserved it, too.

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22724 2009-09-10 08:00:01 2009-09-10 15:00:01 open open mans-practical-joke-goes-unappreciated publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1252608789 _edit_last 5 aktt_tweeted 1 16593 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-09-10 08:10:16 2009-09-10 15:10:16 1 0 0 16595 lkj@hotmail.com 173.34.24.241 2009-09-10 08:28:15 2009-09-10 15:28:15 1 0 0 16597 cdevol@yahoo.com 66.194.235.133 2009-09-10 08:29:50 2009-09-10 15:29:50 1 0 0 16602 citizenerased81@gmail.com http://www.myspace.com/oilybohunk7 24.247.242.90 2009-09-10 09:35:25 2009-09-10 16:35:25 1 0 12 16604 elizabeth_bloch@hotmail.com 12.238.161.177 2009-09-10 09:42:05 2009-09-10 16:42:05 1 0 0 16870 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-09-12 22:34:35 2009-09-13 05:34:35 1 0 0
Oh, Look! Here Are A Bunch of Guys Who Think The WHOLE WORLD Revolves Around Their Own Dooshy Thoughts! http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/10/oh-look-heres-a-bunch-of-douchebags-who-think-the-whole-world-revolves-around-sports/ Thu, 10 Sep 2009 16:54:45 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=22752 Why NOT Attach Their Story To That Of A Rape Victim Who's Been Held Captive For 18 Years?

Okay. I'm SURE I don't have to tell y'all about Jaycee Dugard and the fact that she was held captive in a series of trash-strewn tents in her captor's backyard since age eleven for the past EIGHTEEN YEARS and in that time had two daughters by her rapist/captor, Phillip Garrido, right? And I probably also don't have to explain how horrifying that must have been for her (AND her children,) right?
Well. The guys at the OC Register (Mark Whicker wrote it, but it had to go through a series of people before it got the thumbs-up - which, sadly, it did) thought it would be clever to use that story as a vehicle for their list entitled "Many Odd Things Have Happened In Sports the Last 18 Years." Let the hilarity begin!

The list talks about how JayCee was deprived of high-fiving, volley-ball spiking, and smacking a forehand down the line, whatever the fuck that means.
Here's a helpful smattering of quotes from the article, and part of "The List," (which you can read here, in it's entirety,):



Can you imagine? Dugard was 11 when she was kidnapped and stashed in Phillip Garrido's backyard. She was 29 when she escaped. Penitentiary inmates at least get an hour of TV a day. Dugard was cut off from everything but the elements.

How long before she fully digests the world she re-enters? How difficult to adjust to such cataclysmic change?

More than that, who's going to explain the fact that there's a President Obama?

Dugard's stepfather says she's going to need a lot of therapy — you think? — so perhaps she should take a respite before confronting the new realities.

So, Jaycee, whenever you're ready, here's what you've missed:

•Barry Bonds, who was just leading the Pirates to their second NL East title, wound up breaking Henry Aaron's home run record. How did such a skinny guy manage that? We'll deal with that later.

•Well, actually, some baseball players began taking drugs in order to hit more home runs and throw faster fastballs. Football players, who had cornered the market on most of their drugs, began driving drunk, slapping their wives, selling drugs, and killing people. The baseball players caught more grief.

•Michael Jordan did indeed win the big one, and five others.

•Yeah, this golfer really is named Tiger Woods.

•Stock car drivers now marry international models and are invited to the White House.

Yeah. It goes on and on, just like that. And you'll never guess how it ends! No, I won't make you guess. I'll just show you:

Congratulations, Jaycee. You left the yard.

THESE PEOPLE WROTE THIS, PUBLISHED IT, AND THOUGHT IT WAS CLEVER.
I am actually too outraged to even try to be funny over this monstrosity.



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22752 2009-09-10 09:54:45 2009-09-10 16:54:45 open open oh-look-heres-a-bunch-of-douchebags-who-think-the-whole-world-revolves-around-sports publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1254557487 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1 16609 lolli_lew@yahoo.com http://www.helenskor.blogspot.com 205.167.170.9 2009-09-10 10:10:54 2009-09-10 17:10:54 1 0 0 16636 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-10 13:13:25 2009-09-10 20:13:25 1 0 8 16637 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-10 13:16:10 2009-09-10 20:16:10 1 0 8 16865 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.15 2009-09-12 21:45:45 2009-09-13 04:45:45 1 0 0 16918 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 76.94.222.44 2009-09-13 22:08:18 2009-09-14 05:08:18 1 0 0 16921 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-09-13 22:22:01 2009-09-14 05:22:01 1 0 0
Jennifer Aniston, My Vagina Will Give You One More Chance. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/10/jennifer-aniston-my-vagina-will-give-you-one-more-chance/ Thu, 10 Sep 2009 21:50:22 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=22848 Do The Right Thing Or Prepare To Duck.

I have always liked Jennifer Aniston. Not in a way that I've ever spent a lot of time thinking about, but she's always seemed genuinely likable. Plus, Brangelina really fucked her over, so she got sympathy points from me. But with her recent interviews with CNN and Harper's Bazaar, she is sliding dangerously into my-vagina-will-throw-things-at-you territory. At worst, she blames women for the failure of their relationships because "you train your man to do nothing," and for their "over-doting" on men - as well as these bits of anecdotal and sometimes self-contradictory nonsense:

CNN: What does it take to make love happen?
JA: I think you have to relinquish control. As I don’t think it’s something you can control or really choose. You know, it sorta of chooses you.
CNN: Being open to it…
JA: Being open to it and being open to what form it comes in, what package it’s delivered to you in… and people have ways, ‘Well, it’s supposed to look like this’ or ‘No, I won’t do this’. They have all these rules already sorta preset ideas of what the person’s supposed to be, how it’s supposed to be, when it’s supposed to be, all of these plans…and then…
CNN: And then you’ve got Oprah out there telling you make a list of every single thing you want, and it’ll come to you.
JA: I think that’s different than… but it’s not about what you…what you want, the quality of the person - a kind person, a funny person, you know, a nurturing person.

At best, Jen seems VERY confused and just isn't making any damn sense. For instance, at one point in the CNN interview, she corrects the interviewer for citing an interview with Bazaar, saying "You mean 'Elle?' I didn't do an interview with Bazaar." Um, she DID do an interview with Bazaar, and in that interview she DID say the things that CNN's guy was quoting. To her credit, she did also do an interview with Elle, but dude wasn't talking about ANYTHING she said in that one (I happen to know, because I just read it.) She clearly had no memory of what she said in EITHER interview, anyway (which she makes clear by actually saying "did I say that?" and stumbling over her words, ending with her finally deciding to bullshit through the question.)

My vagina isn't angry (yet,) but it IS disappointed. Watch your step, Jen.

(Thanks to sar for the tip!)

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22848 2009-09-10 14:50:22 2009-09-10 21:50:22 open open jennifer-aniston-my-vagina-will-give-you-one-more-chance publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_lock 1254128419 _edit_last 5 aktt_notify_twitter yes 16672 laurie96d@yahoo.com 70.194.101.133 2009-09-10 16:14:26 2009-09-10 23:14:26 1 0 0 16673 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.31.27.146 2009-09-10 16:15:09 2009-09-10 23:15:09 1 0 0 16689 syndeylulu@yahoo.com http:// 131.203.76.8 2009-09-11 00:01:41 2009-09-11 07:01:41 1 0 18 16696 chelsealahern@gmail.com 71.62.61.1 2009-09-11 06:47:21 2009-09-11 13:47:21 1 0 0
A Birthday Limerick For TheHobo http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/13/ahem-a-birthday-limerick-for-thehobo/ Sun, 13 Sep 2009 13:35:41 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=23026 Watch Your Step, Errant Boys!

There is a Birthday Girl named TheHobo
Who sometimes nails boys with her crossbow
She's clever, and sweet
She makes "awesome" obsolete
And she's more badass than Greta Garbo!

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23026 2009-09-13 06:35:41 2009-09-13 13:35:41 open open ahem-a-birthday-limerick-for-thehobo publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1252875915 _edit_last 8 16882 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.15 2009-09-13 08:02:43 2009-09-13 15:02:43 1 0 0 16884 ispentmysummer@yahoo.com http:// 74.240.137.194 2009-09-13 08:34:46 2009-09-13 15:34:46 1 0 94 16885 caitrinmuldoon@gmail.com http:// 74.240.137.194 2009-09-13 08:38:44 2009-09-13 15:38:44 1 0 39 16887 halfnelson02@hotmail.com http:// 68.103.23.72 2009-09-13 09:47:50 2009-09-13 16:47:50 1 0 32 16900 krista.c79@gmail.com http:// 142.162.221.208 2009-09-13 14:52:20 2009-09-13 21:52:20 1 0 26 16902 bedbugsandballyhoo@me.com http:// 69.243.102.110 2009-09-13 16:44:36 2009-09-13 23:44:36 1 0 40 16905 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 76.94.222.44 2009-09-13 17:35:19 2009-09-14 00:35:19 1 0 0 16906 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-09-13 17:37:01 2009-09-14 00:37:01 1 0 0 16908 halfnelson02@hotmail.com http:// 68.103.23.72 2009-09-13 19:16:48 2009-09-14 02:16:48 1 0 32 16909 halfnelson02@hotmail.com http:// 68.103.23.72 2009-09-13 19:17:26 2009-09-14 02:17:26 1 0 32 16910 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 76.94.222.44 2009-09-13 21:32:26 2009-09-14 04:32:26 1 0 0 16911 anoopkumar@mangalick.org http:// 71.105.16.199 2009-09-13 21:34:17 2009-09-14 04:34:17 1 0 71 16913 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.40.139.167 2009-09-13 21:46:55 2009-09-14 04:46:55 1 0 0 16915 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-09-13 21:52:14 2009-09-14 04:52:14 1 0 8 16919 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 76.94.222.44 2009-09-13 22:15:44 2009-09-14 05:15:44 1 0 0 16922 sfelicityleonard@hotmail.com 24.125.175.212 2009-09-13 22:24:53 2009-09-14 05:24:53 1 0 0 16931 cdevol@yahoo.com 66.194.235.133 2009-09-14 07:12:07 2009-09-14 14:12:07 1 0 0
FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATE, OR 911? QUICK! YOU'VE ONLY GOT TWO BARS! http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/16/facebook-status-update-or-911-facebook-status-update-or-911-quick-youve-only-got-two-bars/ Wed, 16 Sep 2009 17:20:09 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=23416 Facebook Status Update, DHURRVSts-cellphone-lol

Say you're a junior high school aged kid, and you and your friend are out walkin', just chillin', and somehow find yourselves in a storm drain, and can't find your way out. That would be scary, right?

But wait! You have cell phones! HOORAY! You have two options.
Option One: you frantically text your whereabouts and state of terrified anxiety TO YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE. Then you frantically await to be notified of your friends' replies! Which will likely go as follows:

"UR WHERE? THAT'S CRAZY LOL!"

"a storm drain? WHAT IS THAT? btw, i need my english notes back! cross ur fingers, test tomorrow lol hope I pass this time"

"srsly, only u 2 could get trapped in a fukn drain! lrofl!"

"rly? omg!  u ok?  don't go anywr - gotta p brb"

"I alwys new u'd get trppd in a strm drn haha good luck lmaoroflbbq"

"wharrgarblwharrgarblwharrgarbl+otherstuff"

"shud i call someone? i'm calling someone. wait i'll find the nmbr to 911. hang on."

Option Two: you call emergency services, and not waste your cell phone batteries on fucking around with your friends, as that will delay your rescue by HOURS.

Obviously, you choose Option One, because YOUR PARENTS ARE IDIOTS WHO HAVE TAUGHT YOU NOTHING.


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23416 2009-09-16 10:20:09 2009-09-16 17:20:09 open open facebook-status-update-or-911-facebook-status-update-or-911-quick-youve-only-got-two-bars publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1259231823 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1 17226 melanie12081@gmail.com 69.15.192.122 2009-09-16 11:37:40 2009-09-16 18:37:40 1 0 0 17250 lolli_lew@yahoo.com http://www.helenskor.blogspot.com 205.167.170.9 2009-09-16 12:11:06 2009-09-16 19:11:06 1 0 0 17255 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.15 2009-09-16 12:30:35 2009-09-16 19:30:35 1 0 0 17262 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-09-16 12:36:32 2009-09-16 19:36:32 1 0 0 17266 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-16 12:37:55 2009-09-16 19:37:55 1 0 8 17268 igandy@gmail.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-16 12:43:57 2009-09-16 19:43:57 1 0 0 17356 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-17 09:54:40 2009-09-17 16:54:40 1 0 0 17358 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-09-17 10:05:47 2009-09-17 17:05:47 1 0 0
ZOMG! VAMPIRE ROBOTS! http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/17/zomg-vampire-robots/ Thu, 17 Sep 2009 15:33:55 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=23500 My OTHER Dream and Nightmare Hath Come True!

Some of you already know that the E.A.T.R. nearly drove me insane with joy and terror, being that it is a robot that eats "biomass in the environment," AKA "people." ZOMBIE ROBOTS, Y'ALL! Two great tastes that taste great together!

Well. You know what I love, besides robots and zombies? VAMPIRES. I love all things Nosferatu-ish, Dracula-ish, and Eric Northman-ish.  So. How brilliant would it be to combine robots and vampires?

Well, guess what! The Bloodbot is here!

Designed to probe one's arm for the presence of a vein, and then draw blood, it only has 78% accuracy so far. But it's A VAMPIRE! So, it's got plenty of time to learn how to stick you properly, right? And if any of you have had the same experiences I've had with medical technicians sticking you over and over again ("I don't understand what's happening! I ALWAYS get it right on the first try, and CERTAINLY by the third! Maybe if you'd quit flinching...") after they've CLEARLY been drinking all night, you'll happily take the non-shaky, non-Cuervo-and-Marlboro-smelling Bloodbot.

Maybe it'll gouge your Brachial artery out. OR maybe it'll fall in love with your flowery scent, stalk you while you sleep, and save you from being run over in a parking lot. Who knows? Either way, I've decided it's awesome.

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23500 2009-09-17 08:33:55 2009-09-17 15:33:55 open open zomg-vampire-robots publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1253173151 _edit_last 5 aktt_tweeted 1 17347 mae@thundersquee.com 75.128.128.88 2009-09-17 08:56:45 2009-09-17 15:56:45 1 0 0 17348 KAT7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.15 2009-09-17 09:06:46 2009-09-17 16:06:46 1 0 0 17495 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-09-18 10:01:12 2009-09-18 17:01:12 1 0 0 17497 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.15 2009-09-18 10:06:55 2009-09-18 17:06:55 1 0 0
Ph'nglui Mglw'nafh, Cthulhu R'lyeh Wgah'nagl... Fhtagn! http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/18/phnglui-mglwnafh-cthulhu-rlyeh-wgahnagl-fhtagn/ Fri, 18 Sep 2009 18:00:17 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=23571 Translation: "In His House at R'lyeh, Dead Cthulhu Waits Dreaming... of Making You Smell Pretty!"

Lately, celebrities aren't allowed to be celebrities anymore unless they have a line of perfumes, right? And some of them even smell good, but COME ON. You know you won't wear them, because you're terrified someone might ask you what have on, and then you'll have to say "Celine Dion," risking the permanent loss of your reputation as a person who isn't a big stupid.

Well, Squeeples, I've found the solution: "The Lovecraft Collection."

Now you can smell like "Al Azif," (Arabic for "The Necronomicon,") a scent described as "a sinister, sinuous incense of summoning, a herald and paean to the Primordial Gods of Darkness, Chaos, Madness and Decay," which also happen to be EXACTLY the notes found in Britney Spears' newest scent, "Circus."

Like the new Jessica Simpson fragrance, "Fancy Love"? Well. Maybe you should consider "Azathoth." It's "scent is high-pitched and screeching, both impenetrably dark and searingly bright with the clarity of madness: tangerine, saffron, vetiver, black amber and cedarwood."  Wouldn't you rather say "I'm wearing "Azathoth," than "I'm wearing 'Fancy Love'"? YOU WOULD! Don't lie.

I predict this last one to be The Lovecraft Collection's top-seller... "Cthulhu," "a creeping, wet, slithering scent, dripping with seaweed, oceanic plants and dark, unfathomable waters." Now, I should point out that the chances of summoning a foul, slimy creature from the depths of a rank, oceanic hell are equally likely by wearing Paris Hilton's "Siren" OR The Lovecraft Collection's "Cthulhu," but "Siren" costs $55, y'all! You know what costs $15? "Cthulhu." I dare you to smell the difference!



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23571 2009-09-18 11:00:17 2009-09-18 18:00:17 open open phnglui-mglwnafh-cthulhu-rlyeh-wgahnagl-fhtagn publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_last 8 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1254810866 17514 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-18 12:20:16 2009-09-18 19:20:16 1 0 0 17537 laurie96d@yahoo.com 65.123.124.250 2009-09-18 14:35:36 2009-09-18 21:35:36 1 0 0 25591 http://usedtractorsforsale.biz 87.102.35.84 2010-04-24 20:05:22 2010-04-25 03:05:22 Fascinating Information... This site disagrees with you though...]]> spam trackback 0 0
Are We Secretly Dooshes? http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/18/are-we-secretly-dooshes/ Fri, 18 Sep 2009 19:33:21 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=23625 Tell Us! No Judgments! Probably!

Recently, a thought occurred to me.
I might be a doosh, y'all.
Allow me to explain.

There I was, driving along the 64, when the SUV in front of me swerved into the left lane. Then it swerved back into the right lane. Then it swerved BACK into the left lane, slowed down, and came back to the right lane, whereupon it began to pick up speed. My first thought wasn't "I wonder if he's drunk." Nor was it "I bet he's texting someone, or on the phone." NOR was it "I hope that guy isn't having a heart attack." No. I thought NONE of these. My first, and lasting thought was "fucking Republican."

This is a thought I think EVERY SINGLE TIME someone does something selfish or otherwise assholic on the road - like decide JUST AS THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN that they're in the wrong lane and they have to hold up traffic rather than just go on to the next light and turn around, or that it's normal to take a full thirty seconds to make a right-hand turn into a parking lot, OR that it's perfectly acceptable to come to a complete stop with a line of traffic behind them to check their map, rather than pulling over. If you've ever had to drive, anywhere, EVER, these are all things you can relate to, I'm sure.

Well, I've been thinking this way for YEARS, y'all, without even really being conscious of it. Every squirrelly turn (do I take it? But I'm scared! Whatever, I'm gonna take it! Maybe! No, I'm not. Yes, I am!), every jackhole who insists on going the wrong way into a one-way entrance,  every incessant horn-honker while waiting to pick someone up curbside at five AM... all, in my mind, have been Republicans - because these are all selfish acts, and I tend to assume selfish people are Republicans.  Do I know for a fact that everyone who behaves badly on the road is a Republican? No. And this has made me realize that I might actually sometimes be... A DOOSH.

And so, Squeeple, I would like to invite y'all to give an example of how YOU might secretly be a doosh, under your regular screen-name, or a made-up one, or the name of someone you know but kind of hate (which might give you a reason to secretly be kind of a doosh. Jus' sayin'.)

I started; now it's YOUR turn. You'll feel better once it's done! Probably!

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23625 2009-09-18 12:33:21 2009-09-18 19:33:21 open open are-we-secretly-dooshes publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1254557461 _edit_last 8 17533 missnairne@gwi.net 66.55.199.221 2009-09-18 14:01:47 2009-09-18 21:01:47 1 0 0 17536 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.15 2009-09-18 14:20:29 2009-09-18 21:20:29 1 0 0 17556 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-18 15:57:28 2009-09-18 22:57:28 1 0 8 17561 alang2@kc.rr.com 65.26.55.226 2009-09-18 16:11:55 2009-09-18 23:11:55 1 0 0 17564 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-18 16:25:11 2009-09-18 23:25:11 1 0 0 17571 laurie96d@yahoo.com 65.123.124.250 2009-09-18 16:48:43 2009-09-18 23:48:43 1 0 0 17572 laurie96d@yahoo.com 65.123.124.250 2009-09-18 16:50:17 2009-09-18 23:50:17 1 0 0 17579 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-18 17:19:16 2009-09-19 00:19:16 1 0 8 17602 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-09-18 21:18:36 2009-09-19 04:18:36 1 0 5 17706 lolli_lew@yahoo.com 205.167.170.9 2009-09-21 08:51:30 2009-09-21 15:51:30 1 0 0 17720 melanie12081@gmail.com 69.15.192.122 2009-09-21 11:38:49 2009-09-21 18:38:49 1 0 0 17723 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-09-21 11:58:06 2009-09-21 18:58:06 1 0 0 17751 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-21 13:23:20 2009-09-21 20:23:20 1 0 0 17757 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-09-21 13:48:36 2009-09-21 20:48:36 1 0 0 17761 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-21 14:04:28 2009-09-21 21:04:28 1 0 8 17762 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-21 14:07:52 2009-09-21 21:07:52 1 0 8
Dear Tampax. Your Presence is Requested at Applebee's by Sarah's Angry Vagina, Esq. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/22/dear-tampax-your-presence-is-requested-at-applebees-by-one-sarahs-angry-vagina-esq/ Tue, 22 Sep 2009 15:00:10 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=23874 And Not Just to Refill the Dispenser in the Ladies Room, Although That Would be Much Appreciated.

Last June, the Tampax people released a viral marketing campaign about a sixteen-year-old boy who wakes up one morning and finds that his boy parts have mysteriously been replaced with girl parts. Here's an overview:

* Zack wakes up, discovers that he has a vagina.
* Zack finds that he inexplicably wants to do nice things for his sister, like let her have the bathroom first. Oh, plus brownie-making and rom-com-watching.
* Zack begins to worry about his weight. He also gets mildly angry at his douchey friend for being inconsiderate toward his feelings, causing him to worry about his new "mood swings."
* Zack discovers that "Men are pigs." Zack also has an epiphany during soccer practice that pranks involving pantsing teammates are stupid.
* Zack realizes during his French class that he has just gotten his first period, goes to the bathroom, stuffs a handful of toilet paper down his pants, returns to class.
*Zack discovers a few minutes later that le papier hygienique is not enough. Asks permission to go to le sanitaire again. Is mildly embarrassed.
* Zack sneaks into the girls bathroom, gets a Tampax tampon from the dispenser, expertly puts it in on the first try, and goes back to class happy.
* Zack ends his story with the following statement: "I guess it's not the end of the world. Fifty percent of the population has a vagina, and they seem to be doing pretty well."

My vagina has several issues with this, the least of which is Zack's stoic storytelling. "Last night I went to sleep with normal guy parts down there, and this morning I woke up with, well, girl parts." Apparently, Zack's character was meant to be written in the style of Michael Cera's "Juno" character, Paulie Bleeker - quietly baffled and subtly clever. Well. Maybe it worked for "Juno," (although personally, I'm still not convinced) but it REALLY doesn't work here. Zack is the most boring overnight transsexual teen EVER. But Zack's dull personality isn't really my vagina's main concern.

Frankly, my "girl parts" are wondering why the Tampax people seem to think that the best way to "raise awareness" is if it's told from the perspective of a boy - a boy who is more freaked out by his own reaction to his friend's inconsideration of him than he is by the fact that his friend behaves like a tool - and actually goes online to look up "mood swings" as a result. Also, my "girl parts" are a little confused about Tampax's goal. Are they thinking boys will see this, and go "duuuuuude! NOW I TOTALLY GET IT!" despite the fact that all of the boys in this video are portrayed as sexist assholes? Are they thinking girls will see it and be all "omg, this boy GETS IT!" despite that none of the girls in the video appear to think much of anything about anything? Or are they thinking, "we don't know WHAT we're doing, but we know that if we put together a webpage and make it look like a piece of notebook paper with doodles and shit scribbled all over it and then put in this video that's maybe about teen angst and periods or something, WELL, some people might watch it and decide to buy Tampax!"

Which reminds me, I'm almost out of Tampax. But I guess that's neither here nor there.


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23874 2009-09-22 08:00:10 2009-09-22 15:00:10 open open dear-tampax-your-presence-is-requested-at-applebees-by-one-sarahs-angry-vagina-esq publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1254128349 _edit_last 5 aktt_tweeted 1 17825 lkj@hotmail.com 173.34.24.241 2009-09-22 11:42:30 2009-09-22 18:42:30 1 0 0 17827 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-22 11:55:16 2009-09-22 18:55:16 1 0 8 17832 cdevol@yahoo.com 66.194.235.133 2009-09-22 12:29:08 2009-09-22 19:29:08 1 0 0 17834 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-09-22 12:36:12 2009-09-22 19:36:12 1 0 0 17836 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-22 12:51:48 2009-09-22 19:51:48 1 0 8 17852 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-22 15:56:48 2009-09-22 22:56:48 1 0 0 17853 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-22 16:04:58 2009-09-22 23:04:58 1 0 0 17854 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-22 16:08:35 2009-09-22 23:08:35 1 0 0 17857 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-22 17:15:53 2009-09-23 00:15:53 1 0 0 17861 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-09-22 19:13:07 2009-09-23 02:13:07 1 0 0 17866 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-09-22 19:56:43 2009-09-23 02:56:43 1 0 8 17873 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-09-22 21:14:42 2009-09-23 04:14:42 1 0 5 17900 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-23 10:06:12 2009-09-23 17:06:12 1 0 0 17966 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.62.180.179 2009-09-23 21:16:06 2009-09-24 04:16:06 1 0 0 18003 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-24 12:30:54 2009-09-24 19:30:54 1 0 0 22332 cndrela13@gmail.com http://www.mulligans2u.blogspot.com 98.246.57.45 2009-11-11 09:17:32 2009-11-11 16:17:32 1 0 0 22374 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.176.30 2009-11-11 15:27:36 2009-11-11 22:27:36 1 0 0 22388 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.176.30 2009-11-11 21:00:42 2009-11-12 04:00:42 1 0 0
Don't Hate Me Because I'm Rich, Bitch. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/24/dont-hate-me-because-im-rich-bitch/ Thu, 24 Sep 2009 18:44:57 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=24047 Hate OTHER People Because THEY'RE Rich.

I've met a lot of people over the years - some of them wealthy business owners, CEOs, and otherwise High Muckamucks and Poobahs; some of them associates who work part-time positions from various scholastic, ethnic and economic backgrounds. One thing they ALL have have in common?

They ALL hate "The Rich."
Bitterly. And ENTHUSIASTICALLY.

Jet-setting billionaire CEOs complain about "The Rich." Trust-fund babies complain about "The Rich." Pampered housewives complain about "The Rich." Ghetto-dwellers complain about "The Rich." It seems that no matter how much people make, or struggle to make, or has been made FOR them, there's always an axe to grind with "The Rich" that EVERYONE shares. Including "The Rich."

So who, exactly, ARE "The Rich?"

Well, at one point, previously unbeknownst to me, it was ME. I learned this when an employee of mine (who was nearly my age) shouted at me in a fit of rage "I can't WAIT until I can be a rich bitch like YOU, and put my feet up and tell everyone what to do!" I was earning $19,000 a year - WITH bonuses - and working fifty hours a week when this happened. That same day, a client of mine who was buying a $1300 coat sputtered "THAT bitch is so rich she wallpapers her Goddamned closets with money!" to me when her neighbor walked into my store.

Apparently, the definition of "Rich" is mutable.

For people asking for change on the street, "The Rich" are pretty much everybody else. For people who didn't or can't go to college for whatever reason, "The Rich" are "trust-fund babies."  For "trust-fund babies," it's their evil trust-fund-baby friends who have more access to their trusts than THEY do. For middle-class people, "The Rich" are the undeserving families of CEOs and successful business owners. For CEOs and successful business owners, "The Rich" are people who come from old money (which was earned by someone and has been tended to by the family ever since.)

It seems that for EVERYONE, being "The Rich" is an ideal that can never be met.

So, here's my question (Bernie Madoff and other thieving criminals aside): how is somebody having more money than us actually HURTING us?

I propose that we all stop complaining about rich bitches and start complaining about OTHER shit that we're unhappy about. I'll start! I have a sinus infection that feels like someone is stomping on my brain.

SINUS-INFECTION-FREE BASTARDS ARE RUINING MY LIFE.


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24047 2009-09-24 11:44:57 2009-09-24 18:44:57 open open dont-hate-me-because-im-rich-bitch publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_last 5 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1253815049 17999 Amyroon@gmail.com 166.205.135.176 2009-09-24 12:12:59 2009-09-24 19:12:59 1 0 0 18005 igandy@gmail.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-24 12:34:15 2009-09-24 19:34:15 1 0 0 18008 citizenerased81@gmail.com http://www.myspace.com/oilybohunk7 24.247.242.90 2009-09-24 12:42:20 2009-09-24 19:42:20 1 0 12 18009 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-09-24 12:44:27 2009-09-24 19:44:27 1 0 0 18011 Gray@Grayworld.com 70.90.47.98 2009-09-24 12:52:24 2009-09-24 19:52:24 1 0 0 18012 Banks.k@yahoo.com 166.205.4.153 2009-09-24 12:57:19 2009-09-24 19:57:19 1 0 0 18013 Mae@thundersquee.com 166.205.4.153 2009-09-24 13:00:29 2009-09-24 20:00:29 1 0 0 18015 citizenerased81@gmail.com http://www.myspace.com/oilybohunk7 24.247.242.90 2009-09-24 13:05:33 2009-09-24 20:05:33 1 0 12 18016 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-24 13:07:15 2009-09-24 20:07:15 1 0 0 18017 KAT7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.15 2009-09-24 13:39:02 2009-09-24 20:39:02 1 0 0 18022 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 98.98.251.102 2009-09-24 14:43:58 2009-09-24 21:43:58 1 0 0 18025 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-24 14:54:51 2009-09-24 21:54:51 1 0 0 18029 KAT7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.15 2009-09-24 15:20:43 2009-09-24 22:20:43 1 0 0 18030 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 98.98.251.102 2009-09-24 15:31:50 2009-09-24 22:31:50 1 0 0 18032 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-24 15:46:52 2009-09-24 22:46:52 1 0 0 18043 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.62.180.179 2009-09-24 21:17:13 2009-09-25 04:17:13 1 0 0 18044 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.62.180.179 2009-09-24 21:19:19 2009-09-25 04:19:19 1 0 0
glenn-beck-asshat http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/25/glenn-beck-plays-katie-courics-game-falls-into-trap-instead/glenn-beck-asshat/ Fri, 25 Sep 2009 07:06:41 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/glenn-beck-asshat.jpg 24188 2009-09-25 00:06:41 2009-09-25 07:06:41 open open glenn-beck-asshat inherit 24157 0 attachment http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/glenn-beck-asshat.jpg _wp_attached_file 2009/09/glenn-beck-asshat.jpg _wp_attachment_metadata a:6:{s:5:"width";s:3:"260";s:6:"height";s:3:"392";s:14:"hwstring_small";s:22:"height='96' width='63'";s:4:"file";s:29:"2009/09/glenn-beck-asshat.jpg";s:5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:29:"glenn-beck-asshat-145x219.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"145";s:6:"height";s:3:"219";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:29:"glenn-beck-asshat-198x300.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"198";s:6:"height";s:3:"300";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}} Glenn Beck "Plays" Katie Couric's "Game," Falls Into "Trap" Instead http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/25/glenn-beck-plays-katie-courics-game-falls-into-trap-instead/ Fri, 25 Sep 2009 18:00:06 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=24157 Advises Americans To "Ask Themselves Tough Questions" In Lieu Of Answering A "Tough Question"

glenn-beck-asshatOh, Glenn Beck. You've been played for a fool by The Liberal Media and their Gotcha Journalism! Have you learned NOTHING from your fellow crazy-in-arms, Sarah Palin? Didn't she warn you? When Katie Couric interviews you, SHE WILL ASK YOU QUESTIONS! About things you've said publicly and repeatedly! And you will be expected to answer them! And if you DON'T answer them, she will ask you AGAIN, while politely pointing out that you haven't actually answered the question! SHE'S THE DEVIL, MAN! THE DEVIL!!!




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24157 2009-09-25 11:00:06 2009-09-25 18:00:06 open open glenn-beck-plays-katie-courics-game-falls-into-trap-instead publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1253862681 _edit_last 5 aktt_tweeted 1 18078 citizenerased81@gmail.com http://www.myspace.com/oilybohunk7 24.247.242.90 2009-09-25 13:57:24 2009-09-25 20:57:24 1 0 12 18081 lisa@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 198.182.154.4 2009-09-25 15:45:33 2009-09-25 22:45:33 1 0 17 18083 missnairne@gwi.net 66.55.199.221 2009-09-25 16:13:24 2009-09-25 23:13:24 1 0 0 18086 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-09-25 19:03:22 2009-09-26 02:03:22 1 0 8 18088 drgnsldr@yahoo.com 96.27.16.236 2009-09-25 19:33:19 2009-09-26 02:33:19 1 0 0 18141 audio_addiction@hotmail.com 129.128.204.38 2009-09-27 11:34:57 2009-09-27 18:34:57 1 0 0 18173 chelsealahern@gmail.com 71.62.59.125 2009-09-28 06:30:33 2009-09-28 13:30:33 1 0 0 18185 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.15 2009-09-28 09:58:03 2009-09-28 16:58:03 1 0 0 18198 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-28 13:59:44 2009-09-28 20:59:44 1 0 0 18201 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.15 2009-09-28 14:09:50 2009-09-28 21:09:50 1 0 0 18205 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-28 15:05:25 2009-09-28 22:05:25 1 0 8 22318 http://www.cheapmobilesoft.info/autodesk-autocad-raster-design-2009/ 174.37.218.71 2009-11-11 04:24:55 2009-11-11 11:24:55 Autodesk AutoCAD Raster Design 2009 ... An interesting post by a bloger made me ......]]> 1 trackback 0 0 22518 http://www.supercheapsoftware.info/autodesk-autocad-mechanical-2009/ 174.37.218.71 2009-11-13 02:02:46 2009-11-13 09:02:46 Autodesk AutoCAD Mechanical 2009 ... An interesting post by a bloger made me ......]]> 1 trackback 0 0 24594 http://www.amature-lesbian.com/lesbian-workout 114.142.141.35 2010-01-18 10:46:11 2010-01-18 17:46:11 Lesbian workout... Two lesbians get kinky when they exercise....]]> 1 trackback 0 0
We'll Eat You Up, We Love You So... http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/28/well-eat-you-up-we-love-you-so/ Mon, 28 Sep 2009 15:29:52 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=24225 But We Will NEVER Wear "Wild Things" Jammies.

Where The Wilds Things Are is my FAVORITE children's book. I loved it when it was read to me as a child, I loved it even MORE as an adult when I would read it to my cousin when he was little. My tiny cousin (whom I shall call "Tiny Cousin" as I don't want to embarrass him now that he's a 6'4" adult) used to stalk me around the house and then at unexpected moments become Max and yell "RAWWWWWWR!" prompting me to become one of the monsters; then we'd yell "LET THE WILD RUMPUS START!" which was followed by chasing each other around and ending up in a tired heap with me  growling "I'LL EAT YOU UP, I LOVE YOU SO!" as required both by the story and the fact that Tiny Cousin, at four, was almost unbearably biteable.

My point here is that I LOVE THIS BOOK. And the fact that I have cried EVERY SINGLE TIME I've seen a preview for the upcoming movie makes me think the movie will be good.

You know what's NOT good? Fucking up all my happy memories with The "Wild Things Collection." Regardless of how much I loved the book (and hopefully will love the movie, fingers crossed) I do NOT want to wear Max's jammies. Why?  Because I'm neither four, nor am I retarded. I might want to put them on some of my friend's kids (since Tiny Cousin is no longer tiny), but that's different, and WAY more cute. I also don't want to wear a fur vest, dress, or coat based on a "Wild Thing." Fashion doesn't have to be whimsical, designers! Don't you know that "whimsy" is just one short step away from holiday sweaters with snowmen, dancing skeletons and other equally abhorrent crap on them? DON'T DO THAT! Please!

ANYWAY. In case you've somehow missed seeing the trailers for the movie, here's one. I dare you to not tear up. I will also call you a heartless bastard if you don't.



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24225 2009-09-28 08:29:52 2009-09-28 15:29:52 open open well-eat-you-up-we-love-you-so publish 0 0 post _edit_last 8 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1254723534 aktt_tweeted 1 18175 citizenerased81@gmail.com http://www.myspace.com/oilybohunk7 24.247.242.90 2009-09-28 08:39:12 2009-09-28 15:39:12 1 0 12 18191 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-28 12:54:16 2009-09-28 19:54:16 1 0 0 18226 anoopkumar@mangalick.org http:// 216.156.161.98 2009-09-28 19:25:28 2009-09-29 02:25:28 1 0 71 18243 laurie96d@yahoo.com 65.123.124.250 2009-09-29 05:10:17 2009-09-29 12:10:17 1 0 0 18264 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-09-29 10:40:02 2009-09-29 17:40:02 1 0 29
Prepare For Your Written Exam, Yakuza Initiates. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/09/29/yakuza-is-really-really-organized-prepare-for-your-written-exam-initiates/ Tue, 29 Sep 2009 17:00:23 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=24397 Also, DO NOT BLOW OFF YOUR STUDY GROUP.

Apparently, the Yakuza makes its potential gang members take a written exam before they're allowed in. Laugh if you will, Crips, Bloods, and Soprano Family wannabes - but do YOU know what the laws in your county/state/country are? During YOUR prison time have YOU met many Yakuza members? Do you KNOW whether or not your tattoos are misspelled? Probably not, to all of the above, right? Well. The Japanese Mafia are nothing if not perfectly controlled. Here's a question from the exam, followed by the "expected" answer:

Q. What kind of activities are banned?
A. Dumping industrial waste; bootlegging fuel; theft of construction vehicles and other expensive items; phone fraud scams (etc.)

Yakuza (or Yamaguchi-gumi) leaders know that if their subordinates get caught, they themselves are liable for prosecution.
So, the exam ends with this all important question:

Q. What are you required to do in all your activities?
A. Report and consult with my bosses.

To me, it just seems like a good business practice, y'all. For the Yakuza, you actually have to KNOW shit, even if you're just the guy they send out to bust heads.
Take a lesson, future Gambinos: allowing a sociopath with "street smarts" to your table just won't cut it anymore. Catch UP, gangstas!

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24397 2009-09-29 10:00:23 2009-09-29 17:00:23 open open yakuza-is-really-really-organized-prepare-for-your-written-exam-initiates publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_last 83 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1254500034 18261 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-09-29 10:28:13 2009-09-29 17:28:13 1 0 29 18265 Jmd82@yahoo.com 166.205.7.45 2009-09-29 10:41:01 2009-09-29 17:41:01 1 0 0 18268 missnairne@gwi.net 66.55.199.221 2009-09-29 11:14:54 2009-09-29 18:14:54 1 0 0 18269 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-09-29 11:48:23 2009-09-29 18:48:23 1 0 29 18274 cdevol@yahoo.com 66.194.235.133 2009-09-29 12:49:40 2009-09-29 19:49:40 1 0 0 18278 Mae@thundersquee.com 166.205.4.9 2009-09-29 13:21:56 2009-09-29 20:21:56 1 0 0 18286 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-09-29 14:16:16 2009-09-29 21:16:16 1 0 29 18293 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-09-29 16:34:00 2009-09-29 23:34:00 1 0 8 18294 bakerjames117@gmail.com 72.197.121.154 2009-09-29 16:47:02 2009-09-29 23:47:02 1 0 132 18295 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-09-29 19:13:36 2009-09-30 02:13:36 1 0 29 18298 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-09-29 19:22:35 2009-09-30 02:22:35 1 0 0 18302 KAT7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.15 2009-09-29 21:13:06 2009-09-30 04:13:06 1 0 0 18306 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.62.180.179 2009-09-29 21:32:51 2009-09-30 04:32:51 1 0 0 18307 KAT7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.15 2009-09-29 21:55:17 2009-09-30 04:55:17 1 0 0 18310 cdevol@yahoo.com 66.194.235.133 2009-09-30 07:39:07 2009-09-30 14:39:07 1 0 0 18375 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-09-30 14:39:41 2009-09-30 21:39:41 1 0 0 18409 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-09-30 19:35:57 2009-10-01 02:35:57 1 0 0 18410 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-09-30 19:49:51 2009-10-01 02:49:51 1 0 8 18411 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-09-30 19:50:35 2009-10-01 02:50:35 1 0 8 18429 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.15 2009-09-30 22:11:48 2009-10-01 05:11:48 1 0 0 18431 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-09-30 22:21:49 2009-10-01 05:21:49 1 0 0 18432 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-09-30 22:29:01 2009-10-01 05:29:01 1 0 5 18434 mae@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 75.128.128.88 2009-09-30 22:44:46 2009-10-01 05:44:46 1 0 13 18435 mae@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 75.128.128.88 2009-09-30 22:45:37 2009-10-01 05:45:37 1 0 13 18446 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.62.180.179 2009-10-01 07:17:17 2009-10-01 14:17:17 1 0 0 18456 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-01 09:22:15 2009-10-01 16:22:15 1 0 0 18461 KAT7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.15 2009-10-01 09:29:00 2009-10-01 16:29:00 1 0 0 18615 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.62.180.179 2009-10-01 20:40:22 2009-10-02 03:40:22 1 0 0 18636 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-02 09:08:38 2009-10-02 16:08:38 1 0 0 18640 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-02 10:02:08 2009-10-02 17:02:08 1 0 83 18643 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.15 2009-10-02 10:09:25 2009-10-02 17:09:25 1 0 0 18652 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-02 10:33:27 2009-10-02 17:33:27 1 0 83 18686 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.62.180.179 2009-10-02 15:48:10 2009-10-02 22:48:10 1 0 0
85-Year-Old Rocks Out With Her You-Know-What Out http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/01/85-year-old-rocks-out-with-her-you-know-what-out/ Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:00:01 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=24559 Also, Encourages Lame-Ass Son To Learn To Play The Guitar, FOR CHRISSAKES, ALREADY

Margaret Priebe LOVES her some Metallica, y'all. Nine years ago, her middle-aged son Jim called home to check on her. When she answered the phone, all he could hear was Enter Sandman cranked to eleven in the background. This is how Jim Priebe came to learn that  his mother, 76 at the time, was a metalhead.

Margaret Priebe spent the past year in a hospital bed, enduring chemo for her lymphoma, and claims that what that got her through was a combination of Enter Sandman, Bleeding Me, and Devil's Dance. She also really likes Ozzy Osbourne, Judas Priest, and "the Molly Hatchett." She especially likes drummers - she thinks Lars Ulrich is "cute," - but she's not particular; she likes 'em all.

Now cancer-free, she's about to go rock out with her cock out at Metallica's show at the St. Pete Times Forum in Tampa Bay this Saturday.

"It soothes me. Metallica takes your mind off of things when you listen to them."
Lately, her 48-year-old son Jim has been teaching himself how to play guitar.
"I think it's good for him," says Margaret. "You don't have to be a certain age to start."

Yeah, that's exactly what a cool 85-year-old mom WOULD say about her loser kid. Kudos, Mrs. Priebe! Rock right the fuck on!

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24559 2009-10-01 08:00:01 2009-10-01 15:00:01 open open 85-year-old-rocks-out-with-her-you-know-what-out publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_last 8 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1254700098 18450 aprilesheehan@gmail.com http://beingagrownupblows.blogspot.com 192.138.214.116 2009-10-01 08:16:33 2009-10-01 15:16:33 1 0 0 18452 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-01 09:18:02 2009-10-01 16:18:02 1 0 0 18453 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-01 09:18:18 2009-10-01 16:18:18 1 0 83
Adorable? Or Annoying? http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/02/cute-or-annoying/ Fri, 02 Oct 2009 15:00:57 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=24619 OR BOTH?

It ain't no Limahl, but after watching this earlier I can't shake it from stalking my brain. I've been singing it in nonsense Swedish ("nonsense" because I don't actually know any Swedish, other than "bork! Bork! Bork!") all day.

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24619 2009-10-02 08:00:57 2009-10-02 15:00:57 open open cute-or-annoying publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_lock 1258335369 _edit_last 8 aktt_notify_twitter yes 18717 rabuyousef@yahoo.com http://www.r-innovations.com 60.234.134.222 2009-10-03 15:34:32 2009-10-03 22:34:32 1 0 0 18721 syndeylulu@yahoo.com http:// 60.234.134.222 2009-10-03 22:09:09 2009-10-04 05:09:09 1 0 18 18722 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-03 22:18:10 2009-10-04 05:18:10 1 0 0 18735 Rabuyousef@yahoo.com http://www.r-innovations.com 60.234.134.222 2009-10-04 23:55:27 2009-10-05 06:55:27 1 0 0 18736 roxylee19@hotmail.com 96.10.1.100 2009-10-05 06:17:19 2009-10-05 13:17:19 1 0 0 18737 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-05 06:20:22 2009-10-05 13:20:22 1 0 0 18740 roxylee19@hotmail.com 96.10.1.100 2009-10-05 07:10:05 2009-10-05 14:10:05 1 0 0 18741 IsaacRCuevas@gmail.com 96.27.16.236 2009-10-05 07:13:21 2009-10-05 14:13:21 1 0 0 18820 syndeylulu@yahoo.com http:// 131.203.76.8 2009-10-05 21:12:15 2009-10-06 04:12:15 1 0 18
rosy-lipped-batfish http://www.thundersquee.com/?attachment_id=24964 Tue, 06 Oct 2009 06:11:24 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/rosy-lipped-batfish 24964 2009-10-05 23:11:24 2009-10-06 06:11:24 open open rosy-lipped-batfish inherit 24963 0 attachment http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/rosy-lipped-batfish _wp_attached_file 2009/10/rosy-lipped-batfish _wp_attachment_metadata a:0:{} The Living Dead Drive Amongst Us http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/07/the-living-dead-drive-amongst-us/ Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:00:40 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=25214 And They Are LOL'ing, WTF'ing, And OMG I JST CRSHDROFL!'ing

I thought it was insane ten years ago when people started driving like idiots because they were on the phone. Jeezus H. On A Crouton, people wander around blindly into traffic ON FOOT when they're on the phone (sometimes with their DOGS! That's when I brake. Otherwise, I'm thinking "yeah, I know they're not worth as many points as somebody that's actually aware of oncoming traffic, but whatevs. I'll make it up later with a marathon runner who thinks they own the road because they're training for a charity run.")  But now everybody and their mother is texting. Have you ever WATCHED anybody who's texting? People who claim to be excellent multi-taskers are suddenly glazed over, completely shut off from their surroundings, as they toddle off into traffic/ stranger's homes/ stairwells unbeknownst to them.  Ever tried to TALK to somebody who's texting? IT CAN'T BE DONE. They're using every single faculty they have. They are THE WALKING DEAD. And they think they can text while DRIVING.
My home state o' Maine recently passed a new "Distracted Driver" law, effective this past September.
Aaaaand here's our first brand-new-law-breaker!
Jessica Jones, 19, (allegedly, but DUH) just plain ol' drove right off the road while texting, into a utility pole - snapping it in two.

"She just drove right off the road. I don't think she was speeding even," Sgt. Charles Denault said.

Nobody was hurt (other than her 2000 Windstar) - except for the people on that road who had no power for hours (which, incidentally, would have me hunting this girl down and shoving her cell phone directly up her nostrils, followed by shrill yelling directly into her silly face. When MY power goes out, my instinct is to HUNT FOR THE ELECTRICITY KILLER. In fact, that's pretty much the only motivation I've ever had to hunt. Apparently, I only hunt The Most Dangerous Game. That's a realization I just now had. But I calm right down if it turns out to be, like, a squirrel or something. Then I just say "awwww," and invite it into my yard and give it leftovers, if it didn't die in whatever accident caused the outage. )

Apparently, Ms. Jones will be fined $119 under this new law (or it could possibly be lowered to $25, possibly raised to $500 at her judge's discretion.) Which ALSO makes me want to shove her phone into her nostrils - followed by shrieking "what is WRONG with you?!" into her dumb face - despite that I don't even live there anymore. $119? REALLY? The damned utility pole will cost more than $119 to replace! Not to mention that THAT POLE COULD'VE BEEN A PERSON! (Thank you, Tyra Banks, for teaching us that the MOUNTAIN you almost killed while texting could have been a person...  but the fact remains - whatever thing you hit, or almost hit, it COULD'VE BEEN A PERSON.) True story, Squeeple.

Do NOT text while driving, lest you

A) Kill A PERSON or YOURSELF,

B) kill a mountain, ditch, house, or utility pole that COULD'VE BEEN A PERSON!, and/or

C) Incur my wrath and subsequent need to hunt humans.

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25214 2009-10-07 10:00:40 2009-10-07 17:00:40 open open the-living-dead-drive-amongst-us publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1254976640 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1 18952 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-07 10:40:44 2009-10-07 17:40:44 1 0 0 18958 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.62.180.179 2009-10-07 11:35:58 2009-10-07 18:35:58 1 0 0 18962 cdevol@yahoo.com 66.194.235.133 2009-10-07 11:56:23 2009-10-07 18:56:23 1 0 0 19007 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-07 18:04:53 2009-10-08 01:04:53 1 0 0 19027 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-10-07 21:21:58 2009-10-08 04:21:58 1 0 8 19028 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-07 21:26:00 2009-10-08 04:26:00 1 0 0
teentrans http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/08/you-have-two-options-dress-like-a-man-or-consider-homeschooling/teentrans/ Thu, 08 Oct 2009 06:22:40 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/teentrans 25476 2009-10-07 23:22:40 2009-10-08 06:22:40 open open teentrans inherit 25475 0 attachment http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/teentrans _wp_attachment_metadata a:0:{} _wp_attached_file 2009/10/teentrans teentrans1 http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/08/you-have-two-options-dress-like-a-man-or-consider-homeschooling/teentrans1/ Thu, 08 Oct 2009 06:26:33 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/teentrans1 25481 2009-10-07 23:26:33 2009-10-08 06:26:33 open open teentrans1 inherit 25475 0 attachment http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/teentrans1 _wp_attachment_metadata a:0:{} _wp_attached_file 2009/10/teentrans1 You Have Two Options: Dress Like A "Man" Or Consider Homeschooling. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/08/you-have-two-options-dress-like-a-man-or-consider-homeschooling/ Thu, 08 Oct 2009 17:00:25 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=25475 Kennesaw, GA, You Do NOT Want To Incur My Wrath. I'm In A Hunting Mood.

On his third day at a new school, a boy in Kennesaw, GA, was told that he needed to "dress more manly" for school. The alternative option was to "consider being homeschooled."  Wait - WHAT??

I am hiking up my "get offa my lawn!" pants now and telling you that back in MY day, there was such a thing as "compromise." In high school, I had a mohawk. I wore so much black eyeliner and red lipstick that even after I cleaned it off I looked like I'd been permanently bricked in the face - also I wore torn tights, miniskirts with images of bloody knives on them, bustiers and knee-high Doc Martens to school. Was I counseled by my principal that it was a "distraction?" Yes. Was I told that the only alternative was homeschooling? Uh, NO... because THAT WOULD'VE BEEN INSANE. I was told to "tone it down a little, mmm'kay?" which meant "maybe you could look a little less hooker-y." I stopped wearing the bustiers, started wearing t-shirts, and guess what? Everybody was mmm'kay. THAT is what is known as a "COMPROMISE."

Jonathan Escobar wasn't given a compromise. He had two choices: dress like a man or go home. WHAT?!
How 'bout NOT going from zero to mach sixty, and instead start with "Maybe don't wear the florescent pink wig in your math class, mmm'kay?" Kids need to express themselves, but that doesn't mean they're incapable of working with you. So maybe, North Cobb High School, you could try being less of an asshole, mmm'kay?


(Thanks to Sar for the tip!)

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25475 2009-10-08 10:00:25 2009-10-08 17:00:25 open open you-have-two-options-dress-like-a-man-or-consider-homeschooling publish 0 0 post _edit_last 5 _edit_lock 1255025314 aktt_notify_twitter yes aktt_tweeted 1 19052 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-08 10:13:04 2009-10-08 17:13:04 1 0 0 19053 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-08 10:18:51 2009-10-08 17:18:51 1 0 83 19058 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-08 10:44:54 2009-10-08 17:44:54 1 0 0 19060 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-08 10:56:24 2009-10-08 17:56:24 1 0 0 19137 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-09 08:13:33 2009-10-09 15:13:33 1 0 83 19144 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.15 2009-10-09 09:00:18 2009-10-09 16:00:18 1 0 0 19147 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-09 09:04:03 2009-10-09 16:04:03 1 0 83 19156 chelsealahern@gmail.com 71.62.59.125 2009-10-09 09:56:37 2009-10-09 16:56:37 1 0 0 19161 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.15 2009-10-09 10:03:23 2009-10-09 17:03:23 1 0 0 19275 laurie96d@yahoo.com 70.195.223.123 2009-10-11 11:17:44 2009-10-11 18:17:44 1 0 0 19276 KAT7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-11 11:31:01 2009-10-11 18:31:01 1 0 0 19280 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-11 12:39:34 2009-10-11 19:39:34 1 0 0 19284 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com 166.205.132.111 2009-10-11 13:22:54 2009-10-11 20:22:54 1 0 0 19289 thomaslm@lcsedu.net 76.123.62.130 2009-10-11 16:07:38 2009-10-11 23:07:38 1 0 0 19286 mae@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 75.128.128.88 2009-10-11 14:57:34 2009-10-11 21:57:34 1 0 13 19287 mae@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 75.128.128.88 2009-10-11 15:01:45 2009-10-11 22:01:45 1 0 13 19288 mae@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 75.128.128.88 2009-10-11 15:02:15 2009-10-11 22:02:15 1 0 13 19292 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-11 22:03:19 2009-10-12 05:03:19 1 0 0 19293 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 75.75.20.16 2009-10-11 23:27:40 2009-10-12 06:27:40 1 0 5 19294 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-12 01:16:45 2009-10-12 08:16:45 1 0 0 19295 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 75.75.20.16 2009-10-12 02:10:43 2009-10-12 09:10:43 1 0 5 19326 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-12 10:55:52 2009-10-12 17:55:52 same way as women--women are acted upon, sexually speaking, but men take the action. Even with blow jobs--women are supposed to like giving them (or at least show pleasure while doing so) in order to suggest that it is all about men's ability to please women, thus keeping them in control. But a man with another man means that one of them has to give up control, has to be acted upon, putting them in a passive position. And being passive means being weak, thus being with another man in any sexual way means being weak with the added danger that you might actually like it (like being in the passive position) which means you're not really a man. Or something. But seriously, you can learn a lot about what you like (and what it's like for the other gender dealing with you) by messing around with your own gender a bit. For example, women kiss entirely differently than men, TMIMO. I think men would be better kissers if they kissed other men once in a while. Like...huh. There really is such a thing as too much tongue...]]> 1 0 0
A Birthday Limerick for SeaKat http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/12/birthday-limerick/ Mon, 12 Oct 2009 13:00:41 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=25767 ts-sea_kat_1There is a clever lady named SeaKat
Anyone who's ever met her can see that
She was born on October 10
Her words flow like a fountain pen
And she's worth zillions more than she's valued at!

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25767 2009-10-12 06:00:41 2009-10-12 13:00:41 open open birthday-limerick publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1255356671 _edit_last 9 aktt_tweeted 1 19319 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-12 10:11:19 2009-10-12 17:11:19 1 0 0 19391 KAT7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-12 16:08:30 2009-10-12 23:08:30 1 0 0
My Reproductive Organs Are Better Off Without Your Cupcakes, Thanks. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/12/my-reproductive-organs-are-better-off-without-your-cupcakes-thanks/ Mon, 12 Oct 2009 18:00:38 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=25652 Last Friday Was "National Pro-Life Cupcake Day."

That's fine. I would rather be offered a cupcake from an insane zealot than, say, be shrieked at by insane zealots carrying grotesque signs whenever I go to my gyno for a pap smear. Truthfully, though, I don't especially like cupcakes so I would've likely yelled "THEY SMELL REALLY GOOD BUT THE TASTE IS ALWAYS A DISAPPOINTMENT!!! THANK YOU ANYWAY!! KEEP YOUR GODDAMN CUPCAKES OUT OF MY UTERUS!!!" at them if I'd been offered one.

Since the pro-life community were nice enough to offer foodstuffs, I propose that we plan a National Pro-Choice Something Day (to those of you who are pro-choice. The rest of you already had your cupcake fun!) Cupcakes are clearly out of the question; they've already been taken. Plus, Mae will just throw them on the ground and stomp on their cupcake faces while screaming "YOU KNOW WHY!" I'm thinking more along the lines of something savory, like mini quiche lorraine tartlets, or little pot pies. Maybe little plates of pasta carbonara. We'll put cute lil' "no coat hangers" images and sayings on them - written in bacon bits -  such as "I support a woman's right to choose," "Pro-Child AND Pro-Choice," and "I was gang-raped by my dad's buddies and now I'm a terrified knocked up sixth-grader." You know. Innocuous stuff. Keep it light, I say!


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25652 2009-10-12 11:00:38 2009-10-12 18:00:38 open open my-reproductive-organs-are-better-off-without-your-cupcakes-thanks publish 0 0 post _edit_last 5 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1255333124 aktt_tweeted 1 19332 igandy@gmail.com 64.60.65.90 2009-10-12 11:34:36 2009-10-12 18:34:36 1 0 0 19375 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.62.180.179 2009-10-12 14:56:36 2009-10-12 21:56:36 1 0 0 19434 Funkatronik@Yahoo.com 198.182.154.4 2009-10-13 07:46:29 2009-10-13 14:46:29 1 0 0 19442 bhz@headgamespodcast.com http://www.headgamespodcast.com 74.166.83.225 2009-10-13 08:40:29 2009-10-13 15:40:29 1 0 0
"No One Wants To See Curvy Women." - Karl Lagerfeld http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/13/no-one-wants-to-see-curvy-women-karl-lagerfeld/ Tue, 13 Oct 2009 13:00:32 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=25824 "HE WAS WARNED." - Sarah's Vagina

Karl Lagerfeld, I don't think you understand. My vagina has a mind of her own. She cannot be controlled. You see, the warning you were given a couple of months ago was a mercy that few are lucky enough to get. My vagina doesn't give a fuck about fashion (oh, if I had a Chanel dress for every time we've argued bitterly about it... well, I'd be selling them on eBay and eating a WHOLE lot better, for one) but since I do, my vagina was willing to compromise. ONCE.

My vagina heard what you recently said about the popular German women's magazine Brigitte's recent decision to stop using professional models in their fashion editorials, opting instead to use "real" women to reconnect with their readers:

Lagerfeld, who has subjected himself to a rigorous slimming schedule, described the magazine's decision as absurd and said it had fallen victim to overweight women. The 71-year-old designer added: "Nobody wants to see a round woman."

"You've got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying that thin models are ugly."

"No one wants to see curvy women," he was quoted as saying on the website of news magazine Focus.

I'll tell you, Karl, things aren't looking good for you right now. I may be sitting here writing this post, but my vagina is on the phone booking a flight to Europe. And she is a fierce, stealthy huntress, Karl! - with lots of scary tricks up her... well, you know. Vagina.

It's out of my hands now. If I were you, I would do two things.

1) Decide which of your paper fans and high-collared shirts you love the most, and pack them away. If they are on your person when my vagina finds you, they will get messed up.

2) FUCKING RUN.

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25824 2009-10-13 06:00:32 2009-10-13 13:00:32 open open no-one-wants-to-see-curvy-women-karl-lagerfeld publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_last 8 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1259139704 19433 Funkatronik@Yahoo.com 198.182.154.4 2009-10-13 07:45:29 2009-10-13 14:45:29 1 0 0 19437 chelseadiamond@hotmail.com 201.191.155.133 2009-10-13 08:08:11 2009-10-13 15:08:11 1 0 0 19438 lkj@hotmail.com 99.242.17.82 2009-10-13 08:11:55 2009-10-13 15:11:55 1 0 0 19440 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-13 08:17:14 2009-10-13 15:17:14 1 0 0 19446 stimp@mts.net http://stimpsonwrites.blogspot.com 74.216.119.173 2009-10-13 09:11:19 2009-10-13 16:11:19 vagina thinks? I think that's totally foreign to him. The vagina, that is.]]> 1 0 84 19448 caitrinmuldoon@gmail.com 72.215.214.246 2009-10-13 09:16:15 2009-10-13 16:16:15 1 0 0 19449 chelseadiamond@hotmail.com 201.191.155.133 2009-10-13 09:21:00 2009-10-13 16:21:00 1 0 0 19450 IsaacRCuevas@gmail.com 68.40.209.46 2009-10-13 09:35:09 2009-10-13 16:35:09 1 0 0 19454 caitrinmuldoon@gmail.com http:// 72.215.214.246 2009-10-13 09:43:09 2009-10-13 16:43:09 1 0 39 19461 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-13 10:26:17 2009-10-13 17:26:17 1 0 0 19466 igandy@gmail.com 64.60.65.90 2009-10-13 10:43:41 2009-10-13 17:43:41 1 0 0 19475 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-13 11:41:42 2009-10-13 18:41:42 1 0 0 19492 IsaacRCuevas@gmail.com 68.40.209.46 2009-10-13 12:52:30 2009-10-13 19:52:30 1 0 0 19510 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-13 13:37:30 2009-10-13 20:37:30 1 0 0 19512 IsaacRCuevas@gmail.com 68.40.209.46 2009-10-13 13:47:36 2009-10-13 20:47:36 1 0 0 19517 caitrinmuldoon@gmail.com http:// 72.215.214.246 2009-10-13 13:56:42 2009-10-13 20:56:42 1 0 39 19543 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-10-13 16:11:59 2009-10-13 23:11:59 1 0 8 19546 caitrinmuldoon@gmail.com http:// 72.215.214.246 2009-10-13 16:16:16 2009-10-13 23:16:16 1 0 39 19558 IsaacRCuevas@gmail.com 96.27.16.236 2009-10-13 18:32:38 2009-10-14 01:32:38 1 0 0 19566 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-13 20:50:54 2009-10-14 03:50:54 1 0 0 19570 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-13 21:06:58 2009-10-14 04:06:58 1 0 0 19571 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-13 21:12:33 2009-10-14 04:12:33 1 0 0 19572 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-10-13 21:21:06 2009-10-14 04:21:06 1 0 5 19573 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-13 21:26:40 2009-10-14 04:26:40 1 0 0
Meghan McCain Threatens To Quit Twitter In Response To Haterz of Boobies; Andy Warhol http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/15/meghan-mccain-threatens-to-quit-twitter-in-response-to-haterz-of-boobies-andy-warhol/ Thu, 15 Oct 2009 21:30:49 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=26238 EVERYBODY PANIC

Last night, Meghan McCain decided to stay in and read a biography on Andy Warhol. So, she took a photo of herself doing so and posted it to TwitPic; because as you all well know, if you do something and don't post that you're doing something, you may as well not have done anything, MIRITE? Anyway. Some of her Twit followers deemed the photo intentionally racy and said some pretty mean things to her, some going as far as to call her a "slut." Here are her responses.

Okay, look. I don't especially care about whether she intended for the photo to be sexxay, although anyone with working eyeballs can see that it is (including Meghan McCain.) Whether that was her intent or not, these are the facts:

She's a hot 25-year-old.

She's got some wicked ta-ta's.

She, not unlike any other hot 25-year-old (espesh ones with wicked ta-ta's) likes to post pictures of herself online.

She didn't release a sex tape, or a video of herself smoking crack, or use the n-word, or kill a man. A saucy picture of Meghan McCain in a tank top - regardless of how high her boobies are pushed up - does not a "slut" make. At worst, it means she maybe doesn't have the best judgment of what her Twitter followers will tolerate, in terms of in-your-face-boobage-and-Andy-Warhol-biographies. I say, lighten up, Twits. Judge not lest you be Judge Judy.

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26238 2009-10-15 14:30:49 2009-10-15 21:30:49 open open meghan-mccain-threatens-to-quit-twitter-in-response-to-haterz-of-boobies-andy-warhol publish 0 0 post _edit_last 5 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1255645483 aktt_tweeted 1 19845 apizzagirl@rocketmail.com http://apizzagirl.blogspot.com 66.45.123.11 2009-10-15 14:47:59 2009-10-15 21:47:59 1 0 0 19849 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-10-15 14:55:20 2009-10-15 21:55:20 1 0 0 19852 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-15 15:00:23 2009-10-15 22:00:23 1 0 83 19853 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-15 15:00:25 2009-10-15 22:00:25 1 0 0 19855 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-15 15:03:10 2009-10-15 22:03:10 1 0 0 19857 lily@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 71.203.212.250 2009-10-15 15:05:03 2009-10-15 22:05:03 1 0 9 19858 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-15 15:09:21 2009-10-15 22:09:21 1 0 0 19864 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-15 15:15:44 2009-10-15 22:15:44 1 0 83 19868 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-15 15:23:22 2009-10-15 22:23:22 1 0 0 19869 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-15 15:24:44 2009-10-15 22:24:44 1 0 0 19871 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-15 15:27:56 2009-10-15 22:27:56 1 0 83 19872 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-15 15:30:20 2009-10-15 22:30:20 1 0 0 19874 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-15 15:35:49 2009-10-15 22:35:49 1 0 83 19875 lily@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 71.203.212.250 2009-10-15 15:36:42 2009-10-15 22:36:42 1 0 9 19887 mae@thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-10-15 15:57:28 2009-10-15 22:57:28 1 0 0 19889 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-15 16:01:37 2009-10-15 23:01:37 *he's so hot right now.]]> 1 0 0 19890 lily@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 71.203.212.250 2009-10-15 16:02:28 2009-10-15 23:02:28 1 0 9 19893 chelseadiamond@hotmail.com 201.191.155.47 2009-10-15 16:13:29 2009-10-15 23:13:29 1 0 0 19899 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-15 16:37:48 2009-10-15 23:37:48 1 0 0 19901 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-15 17:15:55 2009-10-16 00:15:55 1 0 0 19911 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-15 17:47:00 2009-10-16 00:47:00 1 0 83 19912 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-15 18:19:45 2009-10-16 01:19:45 1 0 0 19922 Amyroon@gmail.com 166.205.131.29 2009-10-15 20:08:10 2009-10-16 03:08:10 1 0 0 19923 roxylee19@hotmail.com 65.191.14.230 2009-10-15 20:11:15 2009-10-16 03:11:15 1 0 0 19924 alang2@kc.rr.com 65.26.55.226 2009-10-15 20:15:13 2009-10-16 03:15:13 1 0 0 19925 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-15 20:16:24 2009-10-16 03:16:24 1 0 83 19927 IsaacRCuevas@gmail.com 96.27.16.236 2009-10-15 20:24:16 2009-10-16 03:24:16 1 0 0 19928 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-15 20:26:37 2009-10-16 03:26:37 1 0 0 19929 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-15 20:27:12 2009-10-16 03:27:12 1 0 0 19932 IsaacRCuevas@gmail.com 96.27.16.236 2009-10-15 20:35:21 2009-10-16 03:35:21 1 0 0 19933 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-15 20:48:37 2009-10-16 03:48:37 1 0 0 19934 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-15 20:54:45 2009-10-16 03:54:45 1 0 83 19936 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.62.180.179 2009-10-15 21:17:13 2009-10-16 04:17:13 1 0 0 19937 lily@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 71.203.212.250 2009-10-15 21:22:29 2009-10-16 04:22:29 1 0 9 19942 Amyroon@gmail.com 166.205.131.29 2009-10-15 22:05:53 2009-10-16 05:05:53 1 0 0 19943 mae@thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-10-15 22:16:08 2009-10-16 05:16:08 as much judgment as I possibly can. 1) As Lils stated; why isn't the book front and centre? 2) She's got sex hair going. 3) Come hither and 'fuck me' eyes. 4) Full face of make up. 5) Judging by her other photographs, her tits are not that high all the time. Nice attention grabber, deary. 6) she wrote this: http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-03-02/looking-for-mr-far-right/ 7) She looks like a harlot. What? Oh please, I'm just saying what everyone thought immediately upon seeing the photo, but didn't say it to be as polite and PC as possible.]]> 1 0 0 19946 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.87.75 2009-10-15 22:24:24 2009-10-16 05:24:24 1 0 8 19947 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-15 22:32:33 2009-10-16 05:32:33 1 0 0 19948 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 76.94.222.44 2009-10-15 23:18:47 2009-10-16 06:18:47 1 0 0 19951 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-15 23:25:44 2009-10-16 06:25:44 1 0 0 19959 lolli_lew@yahoo.com 205.167.170.9 2009-10-16 06:42:18 2009-10-16 13:42:18 1 0 0 19964 thomaslm@lcsedu.net 206.248.244.2 2009-10-16 07:00:24 2009-10-16 14:00:24 1 0 0 19974 cj49georgia@yahoo.com 24.159.110.186 2009-10-16 08:05:42 2009-10-16 15:05:42 1 0 0 19976 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-16 08:32:31 2009-10-16 15:32:31 1 0 0 19984 lily@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 71.203.212.250 2009-10-16 09:46:05 2009-10-16 16:46:05 1 0 9 19996 lkj@hotmail.com 99.242.17.82 2009-10-16 10:55:24 2009-10-16 17:55:24 1 0 0
anabarbie http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/16/really-christian-louboutin-barbie-is-too-fat/anabarbie/ Thu, 15 Oct 2009 22:59:36 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/anabarbie.jpg 26290 2009-10-15 15:59:36 2009-10-15 22:59:36 open open anabarbie inherit 26284 0 attachment http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/anabarbie.jpg _wp_attached_file 2009/10/anabarbie.jpg _wp_attachment_metadata a:6:{s:5:"width";s:3:"848";s:6:"height";s:3:"565";s:14:"hwstring_small";s:23:"height='85' width='128'";s:4:"file";s:21:"2009/10/anabarbie.jpg";s:5:"sizes";a:3:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"anabarbie-220x146.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"220";s:6:"height";s:3:"146";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"anabarbie-300x199.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"199";}s:5:"large";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"anabarbie-480x319.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"480";s:6:"height";s:3:"319";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}} Really, Christian Louboutin? BARBIE Is Too Fat? http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/16/really-christian-louboutin-barbie-is-too-fat/ Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:30:41 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=26284 You Just HAD To Top Lagerfeld, Didn't You.

anabarbieAt this rate my vagina is going to have to start outsourcing some beat-downs, y'all!

Shoe designer Christian Louboutin is designing three new Barbie dolls in honor of her 50th anniversary, but he's making them thinner than the standard Barbie - whom he believes is a heifer with fat legs and cankles.

A Louboutin spokeswoman said [about the dolls]: "They're completely wild and even come with mini Louboutin boxes for the shoes," but added that the designer "found her ankles were too fat."

Even Barbie can't live up to the ridiculous standards being set by fashion designers, you guys! Somehow I find this both outrageous AND hilarious. It's so silly I almost feel like it's a waste of my vagina's time and energy. Then again, it's already going after Lagerfeld, who probably hangs out with Louboutin, so you know. Two birds, one vagina.


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26284 2009-10-16 07:30:41 2009-10-16 14:30:41 open open really-christian-louboutin-barbie-is-too-fat publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1258182875 _edit_last 8 19968 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-16 07:32:31 2009-10-16 14:32:31 1 0 0 19971 roxylee19@hotmail.com 96.10.1.100 2009-10-16 07:52:34 2009-10-16 14:52:34 1 0 0 19972 caitrinmuldoon@gmail.com http:// 72.215.214.246 2009-10-16 07:56:52 2009-10-16 14:56:52 1 0 39 19983 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-10-16 09:38:18 2009-10-16 16:38:18 1 0 5 19990 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-16 10:17:28 2009-10-16 17:17:28 1 0 83 20140 L_bsongs@yahoo.com 24.189.57.49 2009-10-17 07:40:16 2009-10-17 14:40:16 1 0 0 20141 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-17 07:46:12 2009-10-17 14:46:12 1 0 0 20176 mae@thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-10-17 12:33:28 2009-10-17 19:33:28 1 0 0 20876 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-27 09:58:11 2009-10-27 16:58:11 1 0 0 21057 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-10-29 01:37:05 2009-10-29 08:37:05 1 0 5 21097 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.176.30 2009-10-29 10:12:59 2009-10-29 17:12:59 1 0 0 21104 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-29 10:21:27 2009-10-29 17:21:27 1 0 0 21142 jmd1982@yahoo.com 67.149.166.243 2009-10-29 11:39:19 2009-10-29 18:39:19 1 0 0 21145 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-29 11:54:32 2009-10-29 18:54:32 1 0 0 21166 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-29 12:53:34 2009-10-29 19:53:34 1 0 0 21670 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-11-02 20:22:43 2009-11-03 03:22:43 1 0 0 21673 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-11-02 21:06:53 2009-11-03 04:06:53 1 0 0 21682 sfelicityleonard@hotmail.com http://www.thundersquee.com/ 24.125.175.212 2009-11-02 22:49:45 2009-11-03 05:49:45 1 0 0 21683 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-11-02 23:11:05 2009-11-03 06:11:05 1 0 0 21726 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-11-03 09:01:17 2009-11-03 16:01:17 1 0 0
MS Student Doesn't Want to Wear "Drapes" in Senior Yearbook Photo http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/16/ms-teen-doesnt-want-to-wear-drapes-in-senior-yearbook-photo/ Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:30:53 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=26351 Prefers to go with less crazy "tuxedo" instead.

Remember Jonathan Escobar from last week, the kid who was told he could either "dress like a man or go home?" Well, apparently a school in Mississippi doesn't like cross-dressers much, either. Ceara Sturgis, an openly gay student at Wesson Attendance Center in Jackson, wants to wear a tuxedo in her Senior yearbook photo. The tradition at Wesson is that "female students dress in drapes and males wear tuxedos." I'm not exactly sure what they mean by "drapes" (because if it's what I'm thinking, that shit only worked when Scarlett O'Hara and Carol Burnett did it. Hell, I wear dresses just about every day, and you can bet your grandma's gingham curtains that if given the option between "drapes" and "tuxedos," I'd take the tuxedo every time.)

So in the spirit of sanity, let's assume they mean "dresses."

Ceara doesn't wear dresses. Ever. She doesn't own one; there is no REASON for her to own one. She wears boy's clothes to school every day of her life, and it's never been an issue. There are only two options; wear a dress (or, okay, "drapes") or wear a tuxedo - so why on Busey's green earth would she suddenly choose to wear a dress to be recorded for all time in? It's not violating the school's policy for her to wear a tuxedo in her yearbook picture. It's not breaking any laws.

In August, Veronica Rodriguez, Ceara's mom, said she received a letter from the school stating that only boys could wear tuxedos. Rodriguez said she met with assistant Superintendent Ronald Holloway who told her he didn't see regulations about the issue in the student handbook.

But when she talked with Principal Ronald Greer, she said he told her it was his "conviction" that Sturgis wouldn't appear in the yearbook in a tuxedo.

The Mississippi branch of the ACLU is giving the school until October 23rd to respond to demands to publish the photo or get served.

Seriously, man. "Drapes."

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26351 2009-10-16 09:30:53 2009-10-16 16:30:53 open open ms-teen-doesnt-want-to-wear-drapes-in-senior-yearbook-photo publish 0 0 post _edit_last 5 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1255935483 aktt_tweeted 1 19985 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-10-16 09:55:51 2009-10-16 16:55:51 1 0 0 19986 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-10-16 09:56:25 2009-10-16 16:56:25 1 0 0 19988 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-16 10:08:57 2009-10-16 17:08:57 1 0 0 19993 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-16 10:51:24 2009-10-16 17:51:24 1 0 0 19994 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-10-16 10:53:03 2009-10-16 17:53:03 1 0 5 20051 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-10-16 17:25:26 2009-10-17 00:25:26 1 0 0 20092 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.189.217 2009-10-16 21:54:30 2009-10-17 04:54:30 1 0 0 20094 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-10-16 22:02:52 2009-10-17 05:02:52 1 0 5 20097 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-16 22:07:45 2009-10-17 05:07:45 1 0 0 20098 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-10-16 22:17:11 2009-10-17 05:17:11 1 0 5 20146 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-10-17 08:47:42 2009-10-17 15:47:42 1 0 0 20226 potato_sensei@yahoo.com 71.191.60.157 2009-10-18 22:50:42 2009-10-19 05:50:42 1 0 0 20227 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-10-18 23:57:19 2009-10-19 06:57:19 1 0 5
t-shirt_qualitycontrol_lovehurts2 http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/19/thats-what-she-said/t-shirt_qualitycontrol_lovehurts2/ Mon, 19 Oct 2009 06:03:51 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/t-shirt_qualitycontrol_lovehurts2.jpg 26608 2009-10-18 23:03:51 2009-10-19 06:03:51 open open t-shirt_qualitycontrol_lovehurts2 inherit 26607 0 attachment http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/t-shirt_qualitycontrol_lovehurts2.jpg _wp_attached_file 2009/10/t-shirt_qualitycontrol_lovehurts2.jpg _wp_attachment_metadata a:6:{s:5:"width";s:3:"375";s:6:"height";s:3:"340";s:14:"hwstring_small";s:23:"height='96' width='105'";s:4:"file";s:45:"2009/10/t-shirt_qualitycontrol_lovehurts2.jpg";s:5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:45:"t-shirt_qualitycontrol_lovehurts2-220x199.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"220";s:6:"height";s:3:"199";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:45:"t-shirt_qualitycontrol_lovehurts2-300x272.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"272";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}} That's What SHE Said... http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/19/thats-what-she-said/ Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:00:10 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=26607 Or Would Have, If She Weren't Bound And Gagged.

t-shirt_qualitycontrol_lovehurts2Remember when the most offensive T-Shirts featured big pimpin', gross jokes involving farts, and "I'm With Stupid" with an arrow pointed toward the unsuspecting person on your right? Well, now we have the Love Hurts T-Shirt, brought to you by the fine people at Digital Gravel. I understand that there's a whole great big wacky fun-and-pain-with-safe-words! SM community out there, and that's cool. There are fetishists of all types, and I'll be the first to raise my hand and holler that I love me some Dita Von Teese (who, sadly, appears here. She's done some fetish work, that apparently is licensed - hence, her image on this T-shirt) - she's an amazing dancer, and she's gorgeous to boot. But I can't help wondering: are the SM/Fetish community - or even the "we like pinups, because we're all retro like that" people - the ones buying this nearly sold-out T-Shirt?

Because I kind of doubt it.

Word to the wise: if you see someone wearing this, make sure your shiv is sharpened, your brick in hand, and your nut-punching skills honed.


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26607 2009-10-19 10:00:10 2009-10-19 17:00:10 open open thats-what-she-said publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1255938128 _edit_last 5 aktt_tweeted 1 20234 amberjonson@gmail.com http://www.amberjonson.com 74.42.144.179 2009-10-19 10:04:23 2009-10-19 17:04:23 1 0 0 20247 mae@thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-10-19 11:42:14 2009-10-19 18:42:14 1 0 0 20248 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-10-19 12:02:59 2009-10-19 19:02:59 1 0 5 20252 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.189.217 2009-10-19 12:33:21 2009-10-19 19:33:21 1 0 0 20257 lolli_lew@yahoo.com 205.167.170.9 2009-10-19 13:06:01 2009-10-19 20:06:01 1 0 0 20260 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-19 13:14:19 2009-10-19 20:14:19 1 0 0 20268 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-19 15:02:46 2009-10-19 22:02:46 1 0 0 20273 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-19 15:35:08 2009-10-19 22:35:08 1 0 83 20277 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-10-19 15:58:02 2009-10-19 22:58:02 1 0 8 20292 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-10-19 18:20:36 2009-10-20 01:20:36 1 0 0 20301 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-19 19:27:11 2009-10-20 02:27:11 1 0 0 20302 IsaacRCuevas@gmail.com 96.27.16.236 2009-10-19 19:29:30 2009-10-20 02:29:30 1 0 0 20322 missnairne@gwi.net 66.55.199.221 2009-10-19 21:22:54 2009-10-20 04:22:54 1 0 0 20325 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 76.94.222.44 2009-10-19 21:56:26 2009-10-20 04:56:26 1 0 0 20328 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-10-19 22:13:45 2009-10-20 05:13:45 1 0 5 20330 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-19 22:18:31 2009-10-20 05:18:31 1 0 0 20334 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-10-19 22:24:11 2009-10-20 05:24:11 1 0 5 20335 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-19 22:26:46 2009-10-20 05:26:46 1 0 0 20345 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-20 06:20:30 2009-10-20 13:20:30 1 0 83 20355 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-20 09:18:33 2009-10-20 16:18:33 1 0 0 20358 alang2@kc.rr.com 65.26.55.226 2009-10-20 10:11:08 2009-10-20 17:11:08 1 0 0 20365 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.189.217 2009-10-20 10:58:15 2009-10-20 17:58:15 1 0 0 20366 mae@thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-10-20 11:13:06 2009-10-20 18:13:06 1 0 0 20388 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-20 14:29:55 2009-10-20 21:29:55 1 0 0
Ripped Five Year Old Impresses Guinness Book of World Records http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/27/ripped-five-year-old-impresses-guinness-book-of-world-records/ Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:00:14 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=27137 Invites Them to See "The Gun Show," Maybe Some Cartoons Later

Hey! Remember how Balloon Boy's dad turned out to be an exploitative dooshface? And so are Jon and Kate? And Octomom? Well, you'll stop thinking about those losers in just a second!

Giuliano Stroe, AGE THIS MANY (that's five fingers) of Romania has become famous for his bodybuilding skillz. The boy's dad, Iuliano Stroe, says that the kid's been going with him to the gym since he was born, and has been training since he was THIS MANY (that's two fingers.)

One could say that this is just how this particular father and son have "bonded," and that it's nice that they have shared interests. That's if one weren't willing to stop and consider questioning the motives of a father who would start a toddler on a rigorous weight-training schedule, and then put him in a bunch of competitions. But no worries! Papa Stroe says that "if he gets tired, we go and play." Which is weird, because when I was five, I got tired FROM playing! This kid is just going and going all the time! People would pay good money to have that kind of energy! And the ability to pack on that kind of muscle! If only there were some kind of injection...

Oh.


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27137 2009-10-27 08:00:14 2009-10-27 15:00:14 open open ripped-five-year-old-impresses-guinness-book-of-world-records publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_lock 1267001513 _edit_last 5 aktt_notify_twitter yes 20873 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-10-27 09:29:34 2009-10-27 16:29:34 1 0 0 20874 jmd1982@yahoo.com 67.149.166.243 2009-10-27 09:33:42 2009-10-27 16:33:42 1 0 0 20875 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-27 09:52:47 2009-10-27 16:52:47 1 0 0 20879 alang2@kc.rr.com 65.26.55.226 2009-10-27 10:15:22 2009-10-27 17:15:22 1 0 0 20880 melanie12081@gmail.com 69.15.192.122 2009-10-27 10:19:35 2009-10-27 17:19:35 1 0 0 20892 ttllbrown@embarqmail.com 76.0.141.248 2009-10-27 12:12:30 2009-10-27 19:12:30 1 0 0 20905 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.189.217 2009-10-27 14:19:44 2009-10-27 21:19:44 1 0 0 20906 mae@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-10-27 14:31:30 2009-10-27 21:31:30 1 0 13 20908 apizzagirl@rocketmail.com http://apizzagirl.blogspot.com 66.45.123.11 2009-10-27 14:37:32 2009-10-27 21:37:32 1 0 0 20913 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-27 15:37:10 2009-10-27 22:37:10 1 0 0 20916 mae@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-10-27 17:13:35 2009-10-28 00:13:35 1 0 13 20919 sar@thundersquee.com http:// 69.38.0.254 2009-10-27 17:23:09 2009-10-28 00:23:09 1 0 4
Wal-Mart: Serving You From Cradle To Grave, At Rollback Prices http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/29/wal-mart-serving-you-from-cradle-to-grave-at-rollback-prices/ Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:00:14 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=27402 One, Two, Wal-Mart's Coming For You...

Last week, Wal-Mart started selling burial caskets and urns on its website, with plans to also add pet urns and memorial jewelry. I have no idea what "memorial jewelry" is, but coming from Wal-Mart you KNOW it'll be classy, reasonably priced, and probably not at all creepy or gross!

Why NOT bury your loved ones in a casket bought from the same retailer where you regularly stand in line to buy toilet paper; wedged between a stinky, twitchy, butt-scratchy meth-head wearing a t-shirt as a dress and a stinky, mullet-y, butt-scratchy grandpa wearing their infant grandkid's Nazareth t-shirt as a... uh, t-shirt. Why the heck not.

Prices range from $999 for models like “Dad Remembered” and “Mom Remembered” steel caskets to the mid-level $1,699 “Executive Privilege.” All are less than $2,000, except for the Sienna Bronze Casket, which sells for $3,199.

There is one caveat, though, in exchange for these low, low prices (unless you think you're all superswanky and insist on the "Sienna Bronze" casket):

Caskets ship within 48 hours. Federal law requires funeral homes to accept third-party caskets. Returns are not accepted, the company says on its site, unless the product has been damaged during shipping.

That means you cannot change your mind, people. So don't go thinking you can just haul one of these babies to the return desk for beer money and then buy it back on layaway; Wal-Mart's wise to you and your tricky schemes!

I'm including the opening credits and the last scene from "Six Feet Under," because the Fisher family would have hated this nonsense. If they were real. Which I totally know they aren't. Shut up.

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27402 2009-10-29 08:00:14 2009-10-29 15:00:14 open open wal-mart-serving-you-from-cradle-to-grave-at-rollback-prices publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1256804036 _edit_last 5 21090 missnairne@gwi.net 66.55.199.221 2009-10-29 10:06:33 2009-10-29 17:06:33 1 0 0 21129 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-29 11:18:51 2009-10-29 18:18:51 1 0 83 21133 jmd1982@yahoo.com 67.149.166.243 2009-10-29 11:23:40 2009-10-29 18:23:40 1 0 0 21134 cdevol@yahoo.com 66.194.235.133 2009-10-29 11:25:44 2009-10-29 18:25:44 1 0 0 21167 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-29 13:01:28 2009-10-29 20:01:28 1 0 0
Guess What's The Seventh Of Something To Wash Up In Canada? http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/10/30/guess-whats-the-seventh-of-something-to-wash-up-in-canada/ Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:00:27 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=27532 Here's A Hint! If You Pronounce "About" Like "Aboot" In Such A Way That It Rhymes With "Afoot," It Would Rhyme With That.

This past Tuesday, the sixth right foot of the now seven found feet turned up on Canadian shores. And again, I can't help noticing the Royal Canadian Mounted Police's seemingly WHATEVAH attitude about these mystery feet.

There's no evidence of a crime in connection with any of the seven feet.

Police say it appears that all the [feet] separated naturally and floated because they were in running shoes.

How do you find seven feet in two years and not think it's a big deal? Because "there's no evidence of crime in connection with them?" Did the feet tell you that? THEY ARE HUMAN FEET! With no bodies attached, or even other random body parts lying around nearby! JUST FEET. How is that not alarming? If I found a foot in my backyard, I would have some serious freaking out to do, followed by some serious questions. If I found an average of 3.5 feet in my backyard per year, I would NOT be all, "Oh, dang. I wish these dumb feet would stop bothering me, already -  it's always the same old thing, yawners." No. My freakouts and questions would very definitely increase with each found foot.

The article mentions that "RCMP investigators have linked most of the feet to certain people, but others remain unidentified." This is the first I've heard of this (and you KNOW I've got the RCMP on speed dial. Because I'm a journalist. What. They don't know.) So? Who do the "linked" feet belong to? I don't think you know, Mounties! That trick ain't gonna work on this investigative reporter (in my head, investigative reporter is surrounded by air quotes, as it should be in yours.) I CALL YOUR BLUFF! I invented the "I totally know, I just don't feel like telling you" trick, and it's never worked when I've done it so it sure as Scooby Snacks isn't gonna work for you!

I should point out, also, that while I am no less confounded by the RCMP's lack of information, or even interest, I obviously have still not solved this feet mystery yet either. I now see that this is largely due to the amount of time I may have wasted casting glances askance at one Ms. SeaKat - not ten minutes before I found this news item, I'd posted a comment where I may have fingered her for the crime (THAT'S INVESTIGATIVE-JOURNALIST-SPEAK, you filthy, filthy bastards.)

My apologies, SeaKat. You are officially off the hook. If you should happen upon any surveillance equipment around your house and area thereof, don't worry; it's totally been disconnected! (I would appreciate it if you'd maybe send it to me, though. That shit's kind of spendy. Thanks!)

Has anyone seen rumoUr around lately?



*Note: related stories can be found here, here and here.

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27532 2009-10-30 08:00:27 2009-10-30 15:00:27 open open guess-whats-the-seventh-of-something-to-wash-up-in-canada publish 0 0 post _edit_last 8 _edit_lock 1257134434 aktt_notify_twitter yes aktt_tweeted 1 21306 audio_addiction@hotmail.com 129.128.204.38 2009-10-30 08:32:11 2009-10-30 15:32:11 1 0 0 21307 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-30 08:37:39 2009-10-30 15:37:39 1 0 0 21309 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-30 08:40:10 2009-10-30 15:40:10 1 0 0 21311 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-30 08:44:18 2009-10-30 15:44:18 1 0 83 21313 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-30 08:46:27 2009-10-30 15:46:27 1 0 0 21314 msfrapples@hotmail.com 69.38.0.254 2009-10-30 08:47:01 2009-10-30 15:47:01 1 0 0 21318 MAE@thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-10-30 08:49:34 2009-10-30 15:49:34 1 0 0 21319 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-30 08:52:47 2009-10-30 15:52:47 1 0 0 21323 MAE@thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-10-30 08:55:06 2009-10-30 15:55:06 1 0 0 21343 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-10-30 10:21:46 2009-10-30 17:21:46 1 0 0 21350 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-10-30 10:52:36 2009-10-30 17:52:36 1 0 83 21372 cdescher@cedtulsa.com 64.207.232.82 2009-10-30 12:36:38 2009-10-30 19:36:38 1 0 0 21373 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-30 12:40:28 2009-10-30 19:40:28 1 0 0 21376 MAE@thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-10-30 13:32:21 2009-10-30 20:32:21 1 0 0 21393 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.176.30 2009-10-30 15:40:28 2009-10-30 22:40:28 1 0 0 21397 kat7962@hotmail.com 67.40.213.104 2009-10-30 16:06:15 2009-10-30 23:06:15 1 0 0 22001 nick.taranko@gmail.com 66.66.222.44 2009-11-06 08:05:29 2009-11-06 15:05:29 1 0 0 22003 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-06 08:47:11 2009-11-06 15:47:11 1 0 0 22134 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-11-07 19:49:11 2009-11-08 02:49:11 1 0 5
I Bet Y'all Thought I'd Write A Post About The Dick Move Maine Just Made, Din'tcha. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/11/04/i-bet-yall-thought-id-write-a-post-about-the-dick-move-maine-just-made-dintcha/ Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:27:00 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=28099 And Yes, My Vagina Is Predictably Angry.

This is going to be a short one. I will spare you the rageful rant that you may have been expecting - not because I'm not angry, and lawd knows not because I don't love to rant - but because I'm so bitterly disappointed in my beloved home state that I can barely stand to talk about it anymore. I started ranting last night, continued ranting until the wee hours of this morn, had ranty dreams while I slept, and woke up feeling exhausted and heartbroken. I have a huge amount of respect for the people who are trying to see the "bright side" in all this by pointing out that while the vote was defeated, it was a close one at 53% to 47%. I admire optimism, despite my penchant for rage. But the bottom line is that 47% wasn't good enough, and that makes me so sad. In my heart AND in my pants.


In case you missed the link in stm's last post, here's Pajiba's brilliant take.

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28099 2009-11-04 15:27:00 2009-11-04 22:27:00 open open i-bet-yall-thought-id-write-a-post-about-the-dick-move-maine-just-made-dintcha publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1257373621 _edit_last 5 aktt_tweeted 1 21845 missnairne@gwi.net 66.55.199.221 2009-11-04 15:46:40 2009-11-04 22:46:40 1 0 0 21847 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-11-04 15:57:04 2009-11-04 22:57:04 1 0 8 21848 mae@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-11-04 16:07:21 2009-11-04 23:07:21 would have been made.]]> 1 0 13 21850 mae@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-11-04 16:10:20 2009-11-04 23:10:20 1 0 13 21852 a_camilleri@sbcglobal.net 99.150.154.231 2009-11-04 16:14:14 2009-11-04 23:14:14 1 0 0 21854 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-11-04 16:27:13 2009-11-04 23:27:13 1 0 5 21857 igandy@gmail.com 166.205.132.94 2009-11-04 17:15:04 2009-11-05 00:15:04 1 0 0 21877 ttllbrown@embarqmail.com 67.237.56.29 2009-11-04 22:20:02 2009-11-05 05:20:02 1 0 0 21881 IsaacRCuevas@gmail.com 96.27.16.236 2009-11-04 23:49:38 2009-11-05 06:49:38 1 0 0 21927 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-11-05 15:38:35 2009-11-05 22:38:35 1 0 0
Your Boyfriend Won't Marry You. EVEN THOUGH HE SAID HE WOULD. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/11/05/your-boyfriend-doesnt-want-to-marry-you/ Thu, 05 Nov 2009 22:00:17 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=28220 Why NOT Call 911 Over And Over Again?

Hee Orama's boyfriend is a LYING BASTARD, y'all! He told her he would marry her! And then he didn't marry her! Which is a mean thing to do to a woman prone to being full of crazy! And what do you do when somebody does mean things to you? You call the police, duh! In fact, Hee called them four times, because the first three times she was told by the 911 dispatcher to stop calling 911 over nonsense, well, maybe she just thought they were being mean to her. And what do you do when people are being mean to you? You call the police, duh! Then they come pick you up and put you in jail, which is what happened yesterday morning.

Fortunately, jail is a familiar environment to Hee, because she was there just last week. Because you know how sometimes, you go to the mall or something, and when you come out you're all "oh, dang, there's a LOT of cars here, and mine's one of 'em, but damned if I can find it"? So then you call 911? And they tell you to stop calling with nonsense, but they're just being mean, and so you call 911 again? And then they keep telling you to stop calling them, so you call them a couple more times? And then they come and pick you up and put you in jail? It was a lot like that.

You know what else is an emergency? McDonald's telling you they're out of Chicken McNuggets.


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28220 2009-11-05 15:00:17 2009-11-05 22:00:17 open open your-boyfriend-doesnt-want-to-marry-you publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_lock 1257515923 _edit_last 5 aktt_notify_twitter yes 21928 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-11-05 15:49:17 2009-11-05 22:49:17 1 0 83 22004 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-06 08:56:17 2009-11-06 15:56:17 1 0 0 22007 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-11-06 09:03:58 2009-11-06 16:03:58 1 0 83 22112 rabuyousef@yahoo.com http://www.r-innovations.com 60.234.134.222 2009-11-07 15:54:27 2009-11-07 22:54:27 1 0 0 22113 rabuyousef@yahoo.com http://www.r-innovations.com 60.234.134.222 2009-11-07 15:56:32 2009-11-07 22:56:32 1 0 0 22119 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-11-07 17:03:09 2009-11-08 00:03:09 1 0 5
These Are The Pew Research Stats, Y'all. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/11/06/these-are-the-pew-research-stats-yall/ Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:30:51 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=28374 And Here's How I'm Interpreting Them. Like It Or Not.


According to the Pew Research Center:

Statistic Uno) 57% of the country thinks gay couples should be allowed civil unions. FIFTY. SEVEN. PERCENT. OF THE COUNTRY! Sounds awesome, right? Sadly, the country won't be put to a vote on this. For, like, eleventy million years or so. It's a rough guess, but I think it's close.

Statistic Dos)  49% of the country thinks hommaseckshuls are planning to turn our chirrun queer as a bunch of 3-dollar bills.

Statistic Tres) 52% of the country thinks abortion is morally wrong. I understand that. Seriously. Abortion is disturbing to me, too. But if Congress gets all up in my uterus, or anyone else's? MY VAGINA WILL THROW THINGS. With prejudice (which means "In the face." While screaming and throwing other things with my hands. Bricks and sharp pointy things, most likely. Don't fuck with a woman's right to choose what's right for her own body, Congress. Not kidding. SHARP, POINTY THINGS. AIMED AT YOUR HEAD. Don't forget, now!)

Statistic Cuatro) why did I choose Spanish for this? I BARELY SPEAK SPANISH! I speak Broken-Half-English-Nonsense! Anyways. Of those 52%, more than a third (35%) do NOT think homosexuality is a moral issue. DID ANYONE ELSE HEAR THAT? Of the 52% of people who think abortion is wrong, over half  do NOT think homosexuality is a moral issue. 9% of those think it's morally acceptable. Why? Because they're not A) morons (i.e., Sarah Palin ) or B) hateful (i.e., Rush Limbaugh.)

Statistic Cinco) A third of THOSE who believe homosexuality is morally wrong STILL SUPPORT CIVIL UNIONS, compared with 82% of those who do NOT say it's morally wrong. I don't know what "a third of those" is, because A) I refuse to do math and B) what I just said. About math.

Statistic Seis) Black people (at 64%) are more likely than whites(48%) or Hispanics (43%) to think that homosexuality is wrong. I know that black people alone didn't throw Prop 8. There simply aren't enough of them - they're a minority. That's why they're called "A Minority." But I do know that a whole lot of black folks do NOT like the gays. I wish I could say different. I know a lot of black people, and there are only a tiny handful (stopthemadness and Mr. Sarah being part of that handful) who are willing to think of the LGBT community as real people. I've looked and asked for reasons, and all I've found (and been told) is that "the Bible Says It's Wrong," and "It's Just Fucking Weird, Man."

Aaaaand here's where we get into the American Caste System. Don't act like it's not real. I'm pretty sure that "Statistic Seis" is evidence, but that statistic is because black people are, again,  a minority - there are fewer to count. Look all over the country - people of any color who have slim-to-no chance of going on to a get college education, who live in closed social groups, have no reason to think anything other than what they've been told since infancy - by other people with slim-to no chance of moving beyond their circumstances. They're people with few financial resources, and no manageable way to break out of poverty. Go to any ghetto or trailer park in the country and ask the people that live there if you don't think this is real. Closed situations breed closed minds. I'm pretty sure the trailer park I spent my teenage years in wasn't the only one where the residents saw no reason to hope for anything beyond their little world. Go ahead. Prove me wrong.

Statistic Siete) 40% of those with a college education think homosexuality is wrong. 46% with some college and 55% with no college think it's morally wrong. Oh, look at that. And I ain't even got an edumacation!

Statistic Ocho) 75% of conservative Republicans say homosexuality is morally wrong, while only 25% of liberal Democrats agree. 25% of liberal Democrats agree? OUTRAGEOUS!

Statistic Nueve) Among those who attend religious services weekly, two thirds say homosexual behavior is wrong, while 31% who attend rarely or never agree. 31% of something something? OUTRAGEOUS!

So there's the blah blah on blahdiddy-blah. My hair hurts now so I'm off to blah BUT BLAHDY-BLAH. Mark my blah.

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28374 2009-11-06 07:30:51 2009-11-06 14:30:51 open open these-are-the-pew-research-stats-yall publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1257805020 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1 22002 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-06 08:45:29 2009-11-06 15:45:29 illogical to not have civil unions for same sex couples. I mean, you already live together, and have sex (which is what most married people do), so the government decides based on what exactly that gay couples aren't allowed to pay money to have a piece of paper that says they are married? By not allowing same sex couples a union, they are admitting they have a problem with it [homosexuality] even if they won't come right out and say it. As for abortion, honestly, I'd probably never have one, but I understand that it is important to have abortion providers because if we didn't, then it's just going to increase the likelihood of a woman going to someone/somewhere else that would truly harm her. You might not agree with it from a moral standpoint, but seriously, what's the lesser of two evils? This is also my argument for why they should legalize marajuana.]]> 1 0 0 22010 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-11-06 09:32:50 2009-11-06 16:32:50 1 0 83 22025 cdevol@yahoo.com 66.194.235.133 2009-11-06 10:40:13 2009-11-06 17:40:13 1 0 0 22063 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-06 19:36:40 2009-11-07 02:36:40 1 0 0 22104 rabuyousef@yahoo.com http://www.r-innovations.com 60.234.134.222 2009-11-07 13:38:08 2009-11-07 20:38:08 1 0 0 22206 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-11-09 15:27:39 2009-11-09 22:27:39 1 0 8 22207 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-11-09 15:27:51 2009-11-09 22:27:51 1 0 8 22217 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-11-09 17:23:43 2009-11-10 00:23:43 1 0 0 22219 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 64.60.65.90 2009-11-09 17:32:44 2009-11-10 00:32:44 1 0 0 22235 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.176.30 2009-11-09 23:50:56 2009-11-10 06:50:56 1 0 0
dolphinmed http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/11/09/dolphins-underworld-bosses-of-the-sea/dolphinmed/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:20:51 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/dolphinmed.jpg 28526 2009-11-09 00:20:51 2009-11-09 07:20:51 open open dolphinmed inherit 28525 0 attachment http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/dolphinmed.jpg _wp_attached_file 2009/11/dolphinmed.jpg _wp_attachment_metadata a:6:{s:5:"width";s:3:"661";s:6:"height";s:3:"440";s:14:"hwstring_small";s:23:"height='85' width='128'";s:4:"file";s:22:"2009/11/dolphinmed.jpg";s:5:"sizes";a:3:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:22:"dolphinmed-219x146.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"219";s:6:"height";s:3:"146";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:22:"dolphinmed-300x199.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"199";}s:5:"large";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:22:"dolphinmed-480x319.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"480";s:6:"height";s:3:"319";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}} dolphinmed1 http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/11/09/dolphins-underworld-bosses-of-the-sea/dolphinmed1/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:21:45 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/dolphinmed1.jpg 28527 2009-11-09 00:21:45 2009-11-09 07:21:45 open open dolphinmed1 inherit 28525 0 attachment http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/dolphinmed1.jpg _wp_attached_file 2009/11/dolphinmed1.jpg _wp_attachment_metadata a:6:{s:5:"width";s:3:"661";s:6:"height";s:3:"440";s:14:"hwstring_small";s:23:"height='85' width='128'";s:4:"file";s:23:"2009/11/dolphinmed1.jpg";s:5:"sizes";a:3:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:23:"dolphinmed1-219x146.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"219";s:6:"height";s:3:"146";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:23:"dolphinmed1-300x199.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"199";}s:5:"large";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:23:"dolphinmed1-480x319.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"480";s:6:"height";s:3:"319";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}} dolphinmed2 http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/11/09/dolphins-underworld-bosses-of-the-sea/dolphinmed2/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:22:13 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/dolphinmed2.jpg 28528 2009-11-09 00:22:13 2009-11-09 07:22:13 open open dolphinmed2 inherit 28525 0 attachment http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/dolphinmed2.jpg _wp_attached_file 2009/11/dolphinmed2.jpg _wp_attachment_metadata a:6:{s:5:"width";s:3:"661";s:6:"height";s:3:"440";s:14:"hwstring_small";s:23:"height='85' width='128'";s:4:"file";s:23:"2009/11/dolphinmed2.jpg";s:5:"sizes";a:3:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:23:"dolphinmed2-219x146.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"219";s:6:"height";s:3:"146";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:23:"dolphinmed2-300x199.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"199";}s:5:"large";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:23:"dolphinmed2-480x319.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"480";s:6:"height";s:3:"319";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}} Dolphins: We'll Fuck Your Shit UP, On Porpoise. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/11/09/dolphins-underworld-bosses-of-the-sea/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:30:47 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=28525 Porpoise Community Seeks Protection For Harboring Dirty, Dirty Snitches

dolphinmedDolphins are murdering bastards, y'all. Not only are they cold-hearted and unforgiving,  but they have a message to deliver: snitches get stitches, squeakers get beachers. (Dolphins may be clever hitmen, but they can't rhyme for shit. They make up for it with their ruthless killing style.)

Last year, 74 murdered porpoises washed up in California - murders that were suspected of the notorious Eeee! Eeee! family of the Dolphin Mafia, but were never proved. Recently, a gang attack by dolphins on a porpoise was photo-documented; after the porpoise was beaten to death, the dolphins dragged the lifeless body to the photographer's boat and then swam away, leaving the body behind. Apparently, it took leaving a murdered body on a photographer's doorstep (or whatever it's called if you're on a boat) for the dolphins' message to be made public: DON'T FUCK WITH THE DOLPHINS, SNITCHES, OR YOU MIGHT NEVER AGAIN SWIM WITH THE FISHES. (Again; rhyming's not their thing.) Porpoises know stuff, and they're being picked off like ripe sea cucumbers as a result.

WHAT DO THE PORPOISES KNOW? Information that may involve found feet? Or the secrets of Atlantis? Or why LiLo continues to somehow be newsworthy? Whatever the case may be, I'm investigating, so I really hope it's "feet."

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28525 2009-11-09 09:30:47 2009-11-09 16:30:47 open open dolphins-underworld-bosses-of-the-sea publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1259229494 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1 22183 laurie96d@yahoo.com 206.112.75.239 2009-11-09 11:02:59 2009-11-09 18:02:59 1 0 0 22185 keeblerkahn@gmail.com http:// 24.11.145.84 2009-11-09 11:06:12 2009-11-09 18:06:12 1 0 27 22198 audio_addiction@hotmail.com 129.128.204.38 2009-11-09 11:46:40 2009-11-09 18:46:40 1 0 0 22199 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-09 11:48:21 2009-11-09 18:48:21 1 0 0 22209 audio_addiction@hotmail.com 129.128.204.38 2009-11-09 15:58:22 2009-11-09 22:58:22 1 0 0 22224 chellelee@sbcglobal.net http:// 67.142.130.32 2009-11-09 20:49:59 2009-11-10 03:49:59 1 0 42
Axe Body Spray Is A Big, Fat Liar http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/11/10/axe-body-spray-is-a-big-fat-liar/ Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:00:32 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=28699 Also, It Makes You Smell Really, Really Bad.

Vaibhav Bedi has been using Axe Body Spray for seven years, thinking "any minute now, throngs of models in the throes of spontaneous orgasm brought on by my scent are going to launch themselves at me and offer me some boob. And maybe one of them will want a relationship with me, even!"  Well, Vaibhav Bedi thought wrong.

Why is Vaibhav Bedi angry about this?

The company cheated me. It says women will be attracted to you if you use Axe. I used it for seven years but no girl came to me.

Not only was he never once accosted by hordes of beautiful young women, but he wasn't even offered any casual boob from random passers-by or homeless people. None. Not even one  "Jesus, alright, whatever, just leave me alone if I do it this one time" boob. IN SEVEN YEARS.

The Axe ads promised him that if he bought their douchey-smelling elixirs of douchetasticness and then applied said douchetastic elixirs onto his body, at least one girl would be so overcome by his scent that she'd have no choice but submit to him. And since ads apparently never lie in India, Vaibhav is suing Unilever (makers of said douchetastic body spray) for $40,000. Because in the seven years that he's been dousing his body in the putrid funk that is Axe Body Spray, not one girl has thrown herself at him whilst ripping her pants off, or otherwise.

Unilever has declined to comment. Because smelling really, really bad speaks louder than words.


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28699 2009-11-10 09:00:32 2009-11-10 16:00:32 open open axe-body-spray-is-a-big-fat-liar publish 0 0 post _edit_last 5 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1257925251 aktt_tweeted 1 22247 chellelee@sbcglobal.net http:// 67.142.130.33 2009-11-10 09:31:01 2009-11-10 16:31:01 1 0 42 22248 chellelee@sbcglobal.net http:// 67.142.130.33 2009-11-10 09:32:48 2009-11-10 16:32:48 1 0 42 22250 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-11-10 10:01:11 2009-11-10 17:01:11 1 0 0 22253 citizenerased81@gmail.com http://www.myspace.com/oilybohunk7 24.247.242.90 2009-11-10 10:13:29 2009-11-10 17:13:29 1 0 12 22260 alang2@kc.rr.com 65.26.55.226 2009-11-10 11:09:15 2009-11-10 18:09:15 1 0 0 22263 citizenerased81@gmail.com http://www.myspace.com/oilybohunk7 99.29.7.187 2009-11-10 11:22:59 2009-11-10 18:22:59 1 0 12 22264 IsaacRCuevas@gmail.com 96.27.16.236 2009-11-10 11:23:18 2009-11-10 18:23:18 1 0 0 22266 alang2@kc.rr.com 65.26.55.226 2009-11-10 11:37:07 2009-11-10 18:37:07 1 0 0 22267 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-10 11:39:07 2009-11-10 18:39:07 not talking to you.]]> 1 0 0 22270 citizenerased81@gmail.com http://www.myspace.com/oilybohunk7 24.247.242.90 2009-11-10 12:11:57 2009-11-10 19:11:57 1 0 12 22275 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-11-10 13:58:52 2009-11-10 20:58:52 1 0 0 22279 rabuyousef@yahoo.com http://www.r-innovations.com 60.234.134.222 2009-11-10 15:40:46 2009-11-10 22:40:46 1 0 0 22289 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-10 17:03:42 2009-11-11 00:03:42 1 0 0 22290 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-11-10 17:09:53 2009-11-11 00:09:53 1 0 5 22310 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.176.30 2009-11-10 21:57:40 2009-11-11 04:57:40 1 0 0 22329 IsaacRCuevas@gmail.com 96.27.16.236 2009-11-11 08:34:15 2009-11-11 15:34:15 1 0 0 22343 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-11 12:27:36 2009-11-11 19:27:36 1 0 0 24701 L_bsongs@yahoo.com 24.189.57.49 2010-01-28 07:34:29 2010-01-28 14:34:29 1 0 0 24706 amyroon@gmail.com 76.121.139.86 2010-01-28 13:20:45 2010-01-28 20:20:45 1 0 0
Hey. Desperate Moms. You've Heard Of "Adoption," Right? http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/11/11/hey-desperate-moms-youve-heard-of-adoption-right/ Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:00:27 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=28851 How 'Bout You Do THAT, and NOT Leave Your Kid In A Box Under The Babysitter's Bed (Or In a Plastic Bag In A Truck, or With A Fictitious Nanny, Or Whatever.) [caption id="" align="alignright" width="168" caption="This kitten was probably not abandoned and/or murdered. I just thought you might want to look at a sweet tiny kitten. "]You know who mightve been abandoned in a weird way and then was possibly murdered and then the abandoners/murderers called 911 to wail about their missing kitten? This kitten.   [/caption]

WHAT. THE FUCK. IS GOING ON, Y'ALL. Why are people doing weird shit like abandoning and/or murdering their kids when THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO WILL HAPPILY TAKE THEM. People who likely would also pay for stuff like hospital bills, travel expenses, and the welfare of the mother (uh, vitamins and vodka an' shit, I guess.)

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THESE ABANDONED AND/OR MURDERED BABIES ON THIS MOTHAFUCKING PLANE.

You could have had an abortion, but you didn't. Instead, you decided that you'd just carry on as normal, because having a baby shouldn't change your life or anything - right? Until it does. And then you decide to hatch a cunning scheme! A really complicated one! Because how else will the police believe you, if you don't say - for instance - that a bunch of black guys carjacked you and took your babies?

This craziness has gone on since long before the links I'm about to provide, and I will only provide a few, because this shit breaks my heart in ways that make me want to be alone in a room with the parent(s) of these kids with something heavy that will make a satisfactory "thud" when I throw said heavy thing (bricks would be ideal, but I'd also be okay with "medicine ball" or "a bunch of lead pipe") directly at their faces.

Let's start with Casey Anthony. This woman clearly (and by "clearly," I mean "allegedly," by which I mean "CLEARLY") murdered her two-year-old daughter. Then there's the Haleigh Cummings story. More recently, there was this story about the baby that was given to a babysitter TO HIDE IN A BOX UNDER THE DAMN BED for unknown reasons by the parents, who then called the police to say she'd somehow gone missing.  And now there's this. Call me a skeptic, but I just don't believe some crazy person randomly stole a baby, tied it into a plastic bag, and left it in a truck.

Having children is overwhelming. Especially if you have other children. I get it. SO GIVE YOUR BABIES TO PEOPLE WHO WILL CARE FOR THEM, FUCKTARDS! Don't plan an elaborate "Dingoes ate my baby!*" scheme. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.


* as it turns out, dingoes really might've eaten her baby. Which makes anyone who laughed at this joke an asshole, if, in fact, dingoes actually took her baby. Jury's still out.

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28851 2009-11-11 08:00:27 2009-11-11 15:00:27 open open hey-desperate-moms-youve-heard-of-adoption-right publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_lock 1258004143 _edit_last 8 aktt_notify_twitter yes 22331 cndrela13@gmail.com http://www.mulligans2u.blogspot.com 98.246.57.45 2009-11-11 09:08:38 2009-11-11 16:08:38 1 0 0 22333 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-11-11 09:59:18 2009-11-11 16:59:18 1 0 0 22358 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-11-11 14:18:30 2009-11-11 21:18:30 1 0 5 22389 chellelee@sbcglobal.net http:// 67.142.130.22 2009-11-11 21:51:21 2009-11-12 04:51:21 1 0 42 22391 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-11-11 22:07:46 2009-11-12 05:07:46 1 0 5 22393 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-11-11 22:19:28 2009-11-12 05:19:28 1 0 0 22394 chellelee@sbcglobal.net http:// 67.142.130.22 2009-11-11 22:23:40 2009-11-12 05:23:40 1 0 42 22396 mae@thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-11-11 22:28:48 2009-11-12 05:28:48 1 0 0 22398 chellelee@sbcglobal.net http:// 67.142.130.22 2009-11-11 22:33:04 2009-11-12 05:33:04 1 0 42 22421 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-12 09:46:23 2009-11-12 16:46:23 1 0 0 22422 mae@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-11-12 10:07:15 2009-11-12 17:07:15 1 0 13 22426 a_camilleri@sbcglobal.net 99.150.154.231 2009-11-12 10:36:52 2009-11-12 17:36:52 1 0 0 22427 mae@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-11-12 10:40:33 2009-11-12 17:40:33 1 0 13 22438 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-11-12 11:28:04 2009-11-12 18:28:04 1 0 0 22441 a_camilleri@sbcglobal.net 99.150.154.231 2009-11-12 11:52:41 2009-11-12 18:52:41 1 0 0 22443 mae@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-11-12 11:57:04 2009-11-12 18:57:04 :] And hey! I made the right choice! I gave my kid up for adoption too! Heh.]]> 1 0 13 22481 lkj@hotmail.com 99.242.17.82 2009-11-12 18:18:58 2009-11-13 01:18:58 1 0 0 22484 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-12 18:49:39 2009-11-13 01:49:39 1 0 0 22485 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-12 18:50:51 2009-11-13 01:50:51 1 0 0 22486 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-11-12 19:06:12 2009-11-13 02:06:12 1 0 0 22487 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-11-12 19:07:37 2009-11-13 02:07:37 1 0 0 22488 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-11-12 19:09:54 2009-11-13 02:09:54 1 0 0 22491 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-12 19:15:21 2009-11-13 02:15:21 more painful it's going to be to squeeze a behbeh out your vag. Again... just saying.]]> 1 0 0 22504 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-11-12 21:58:09 2009-11-13 04:58:09 1 0 5 22505 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.176.30 2009-11-12 22:19:25 2009-11-13 05:19:25 1 0 0 22508 potato_sensei@yahoo.com 71.191.60.157 2009-11-12 22:41:37 2009-11-13 05:41:37 didn't even have sex and she got pregnant. So all birth control arguments are moot. If God wants you preggers, then BAM! You're preggers.]]> 1 0 0 22509 potato_sensei@yahoo.com 71.191.60.157 2009-11-12 22:44:21 2009-11-13 05:44:21 1 0 0 22511 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-11-12 23:12:08 2009-11-13 06:12:08 1 0 5 22529 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-11-13 04:43:46 2009-11-13 11:43:46 1 0 0 22530 lkj@hotmail.com 99.242.17.82 2009-11-13 06:57:36 2009-11-13 13:57:36 1 0 0 22539 mae@thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-11-13 08:56:56 2009-11-13 15:56:56 1 0 0 22541 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-13 09:06:58 2009-11-13 16:06:58 never ever said that the Bible said that Mary had buttsecks (which is a kind of secks, of which Mary did not partake at all. This is why she is called the Virgin Mary). Dur.]]> 1 0 0 22543 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-11-13 09:16:20 2009-11-13 16:16:20 1 0 83 22544 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-11-13 09:16:57 2009-11-13 16:16:57 1 0 83 22545 mae@thundersquee.com 67.149.166.243 2009-11-13 09:22:00 2009-11-13 16:22:00 1 0 0 22546 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-13 09:22:28 2009-11-13 16:22:28 1 0 0 22548 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-11-13 09:24:55 2009-11-13 16:24:55 1 0 83 22604 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-13 22:02:25 2009-11-14 05:02:25 1 0 0 22605 stopthemadness@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 76.169.80.172 2009-11-13 22:04:41 2009-11-14 05:04:41 1 0 8 22626 alang2@kc.rr.com 65.26.55.226 2009-11-14 12:37:52 2009-11-14 19:37:52 1 0 0
Oh, Japan, We Love Your Exotic, Kooky, Assy Fashions! http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/11/17/oh-japan-we-love-your-exotic-kooky-suddenly-assy-fashions/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:07:07 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=29558 And Maybe YOU'LL Love OUR Exotic, Kooky, Assy Condiment?
[caption id="" align="alignright" width="133" caption="LOOK AT THAT ASS*! It's just RIGHT OUT THERE, for everyone to be shocked and amused by! *note: not really this model's ass."]*not really this models ass - its airbrushed on, for edginess! Clever, right?[/caption]

It's so hard to find the new, cool thing.  This is a difficult time in marketing for the whole world. The global economy is in a terrible state, but everyone wants to see something edgy and new. Well, no one can afford to come up with a whole new thing. So. We try to turn something old and overlooked and dusty into something new again! America's got crazy, scene-lovin' hipster kids peddling Miracle Whip as a "lifestyle choice," and Japan's decided to promote their asses (or someone's asses, anyway, screenprinted onto the backs of their skirts in ways that look like would be REALLY uncomfortable if they were real). Japanese booties and Miracle Whip have been overlooked for years!

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="156" caption="Tone it down?! What?!? Not THIS free spirit's* Miracle Whip! *note: model is not an actual free spirit ."]Tone it down?! What?!! Not THIS *wildwomans Miracle Whip!     *model is not an actual wildwoman.[/caption]


Give it some thought. When you think of the American flag, do you think of Miracle Whip? No. Because nobody likes Miracle Whip. But THAT'S ALL GOING TO CHANGE, now that a bunch of 19-year-olds are making duckfaces while shoving a jar of it in your face! And when you think of Japan, do you think of asses? No. The Japanese have many, many beautiful features, as a people - but asses aren't typically the feature you think of first. WELL GUESS WHAT? That's all gonna change! Because a bunch of 19-year-olds making duckfaces are shoving them in your face! They're as stylish as Winkers (maybe more so!), and it's okay that they're not real, because neither is Miracle Whip.

So everyone wins! Sort of! This economy is going to change, y'all, with the help of Miracle Whip and weird pretend-assless skirts! MARK MY WORDS!

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29558 2009-11-17 09:07:07 2009-11-17 16:07:07 open open oh-japan-we-love-your-exotic-kooky-suddenly-assy-fashions publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_lock 1258451562 _edit_last 5 aktt_notify_twitter yes 22740 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-11-17 09:47:36 2009-11-17 16:47:36 1 0 83 22746 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-11-17 10:15:43 2009-11-17 17:15:43 1 0 0 22754 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-11-17 10:49:26 2009-11-17 17:49:26 1 0 83 22758 deimos@thundersquee.com http:// 68.14.232.203 2009-11-17 11:36:31 2009-11-17 18:36:31 1 0 6 22761 alang2@kc.rr.com 65.26.55.226 2009-11-17 12:21:11 2009-11-17 19:21:11 1 0 0 22763 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-11-17 12:39:55 2009-11-17 19:39:55 1 0 83 22764 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-11-17 12:50:20 2009-11-17 19:50:20 1 0 83 22768 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-11-17 12:57:46 2009-11-17 19:57:46 1 0 0 22778 lisa@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 198.182.154.4 2009-11-17 13:23:43 2009-11-17 20:23:43 1 0 17 22779 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-11-17 13:24:38 2009-11-17 20:24:38 1 0 0 22781 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2009-11-17 14:17:51 2009-11-17 21:17:51 1 0 83 22796 lavakris79@yahoo.com 76.242.176.30 2009-11-17 21:06:35 2009-11-18 04:06:35 1 0 0 22798 IsaacRCuevas@gmail.com 96.27.16.236 2009-11-17 21:17:07 2009-11-18 04:17:07 1 0 0
jujusbustedfinger http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/11/23/goodbye-cruel-squee/jujusbustedfinger/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 06:36:45 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/jujusbustedfinger 30076 2009-11-22 23:36:45 2009-11-23 06:36:45 open open jujusbustedfinger inherit 30001 0 attachment http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/jujusbustedfinger _wp_attached_file 2009/11/jujusbustedfinger _wp_attachment_metadata a:0:{} jujusbustedfinger1 http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/11/23/goodbye-cruel-squee/jujusbustedfinger1/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 06:38:17 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/jujusbustedfinger1 30077 2009-11-22 23:38:17 2009-11-23 06:38:17 open open jujusbustedfinger1 inherit 30001 0 attachment http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/jujusbustedfinger1 _wp_attached_file 2009/11/jujusbustedfinger1 _wp_attachment_metadata a:0:{} Bill O'Reilly Calls Out Sarah Palin. Right To Her Face And E'erything! http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/11/23/bill-oreilly-calls-out-sarah-palin-right-to-her-face-and-eerything-you-heard-me/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:00:13 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=30047 In Related News, It WAS Opposite Day.

First, Fox News was so embarrassed by Palin's stupidity that they had to correct her about her deliciously asinine assumption that Obama is in charge of whether or not there's God-stuff on our coins. Then on Friday night, Bill O'Reilly asked her questions that I'm pretty sure left her wishing she were being interviewed by Katie Couric. And no, I am not making this up.

O'Reilly: You pointed out his [Obama's] lack of experience -- you don't have that much experience. You walked away from the governorship after, what, two years? Two and a half years?

Palin: Going into my lame-duck session -- my fourth legislative session -- and not wanting to put Alaskans through a lame-duck session --

O'Reilly: OK, but is it fair for you to criticize Obama's lack of experience when somebody could make the same criticism about you on the national stage.

Palin: If you're talking about executive experience, I would put my experience up against his any day of the week. I have been elected to local office since 1992, and was a city manager, strong-mayor form of government, was a chief executive of the state, and was an oil and gas regulator. There was some good experience there that could have been put to use in a vice presidential ticket. We've to remember too that I wasn't running for president.

O'Reilly: No, but that's the key question. Because John McCain is up there in years, you had to be qualified to take that office over.

Palin: Right. But I -- I'm saying I was running for vice president, just like Joe Biden had been running for vice president. I never once heard you or anybody else question Joe Biden and his experience.

O'Reilly: Well, he's got a lot of experience.

Now, I should point out that I saw (and by "saw," I mean "did a bunch of other stuff while this interview blathered on in the background") the rest of this interview, and he's mostly kissing her ass and trying to make out with her the rest of the time, as per his contract with Mr. Murdoch. And I'm pretty sure these are the hardest questions she's been - or will be - asked while on her book tour. But STILL, y'all! Color me "well, THAT was unexpected."

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30047 2009-11-23 08:00:13 2009-11-23 15:00:13 open open bill-oreilly-calls-out-sarah-palin-right-to-her-face-and-eerything-you-heard-me publish 0 0 post _edit_last 5 _edit_lock 1258957494 aktt_notify_twitter yes aktt_tweeted 1 23391 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-11-24 04:37:30 2009-11-24 11:37:30 1 0 0 23354 rabuyousef@yahoo.com http://www.r-innovations.com 60.234.134.222 2009-11-23 14:43:53 2009-11-23 21:43:53 1 0 0 23288 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-11-23 10:06:22 2009-11-23 17:06:22 1 0 0 23284 chelsealahern@gmail.com 71.62.41.255 2009-11-23 09:05:07 2009-11-23 16:05:07 1 0 0 24389 http://www.nationalcreditfixers.com/alaskacreditrepair.php 64.49.221.236 2009-12-22 18:30:27 2009-12-23 01:30:27 alaska credit repair... I have been looking through these pages and thought this site was interesting!...]]> 1 trackback 0 0
The Mormons Want You To Bring Out Your Dead http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/11/23/the-mormons-want-you-to-bring-out-your-dead/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:00:07 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=30084 They're Also Okay With "I'm Not Quite Dead Yet,"  "I Feel Fine!" and "Really, I Think I'll Go For A Walk!"

Welp, y'all, it's not a big secret that I have issues with the LDS community. Some of you may remember my rants on The Site That Shall Not Be Named - but for those who weren't privy to those rants, here's a list of reasons, showcased rantily. (Yeah. I KNOW "rantily" isn't a word. If you're not cool with that, well, you can leave. Don't let the door knock some rantiness into you on your way out.)

A) There's that whole "Mark of Cain" thing... apparently, according to the Book of Mormon, black folk are the accursed descendants of Cain (you know. The Bad Twin in the Biblical "Cain and Abel" duo.) According to The Book Of Mormon, black people are black BECAUSE OF GOD'S CURSE on Cain for murdering Abel. In fact, It's God's punishment to the whole world, apparently, for Abel's murder.  Cain's descendants are black, and therefore made of da eeeeebil.

B) Multiple wives. Yeah, I know that the LDS has been distancing themselves from this for years and years. But you know what? It doesn't make any difference to me. Why? Because:

  1. This religion is less than 200 years old. That makes it a tween in the world of mainstream religions. Who knows when they'll change their minds again? It's new, crazy and young!    They're still experimenting! A religion based on some dude's account of a hallucination that he may or may not have had that's still being "updated?" COME. ON.
  2. Uh, IT'S STILL HAPPENING. Even though the LDS insist they're not a part of it, it's still the same religion. Sorry, Mormons. You can't sweep what amounts to a WHOLE bunch of Utah under the rug and pretend it's not happening, no matter how much you plug your ears while yelling "LALALA-WETHANKTHEE,OHGOD,FORAPROPHET-LALALALALA."

C) PROPOSITION EIGHT. These conniving assholes managed to convince a large part of California that it was wrong, and then somehow managed to convince the entire nation THAT IT WAS BECAUSE BLACK PEOPLE DON'T LIKE GAYS.

D) They want to claim your dead. And they're doing it. For all you know, your ancestors are all Mormons now. Ever wondered about your family tree? Go ahead and Google it. I would bet my left nostril that Mormons are running the top 5 result sites. That's because while the Mormons might have a hard time converting living souls, they have NO trouble converting dead ones. All ya gotta do is give them your great-grandma's maiden name and where she lived - and voila!

The Mormons get a whole new family of dead converts! And YOU get to find out where you came from! So everybody wins! (Except for that whole "all your dead are belong to me" thing.)



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30084 2009-11-23 10:00:07 2009-11-23 17:00:07 open open the-mormons-want-you-to-bring-out-your-dead publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1258970196 _edit_last 5 aktt_tweeted 1 23475 caitrinmuldoon@gmail.com http:// 74.177.200.156 2009-11-25 13:39:06 2009-11-25 20:39:06 1 0 39 23473 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.222.198 2009-11-25 12:42:39 2009-11-25 19:42:39 1 0 0 23456 mae@thundersquee.com 67.149.164.230 2009-11-25 11:02:55 2009-11-25 18:02:55 1 0 0 23454 amyroon@gmail.com 66.213.243.185 2009-11-25 10:51:48 2009-11-25 17:51:48 1 0 0 23453 mae@thundersquee.com 67.149.164.230 2009-11-25 10:50:23 2009-11-25 17:50:23 In the Temple, baptism is performed by proxy. It is believed that in the spirit world, those ordinances may be accepted or rejected by the individual. Sounds like shenannies to me. That reminds me of those crooks who dress up as electrical or gas company workers and go door to door preying on old people to me. TMIMO! oh, and i'm so much more happy about going to "hell." than "heaven" if there are such places. look at the list of famous sinners. hell = party time > heaven.]]> 1 0 0 23447 diamondchels@yahoo.com 201.191.160.62 2009-11-25 06:44:37 2009-11-25 13:44:37 1 0 0 23448 nfleming@cableone.net 96.18.140.219 2009-11-25 07:49:59 2009-11-25 14:49:59 1 0 0 23449 nfleming@cableone.net 96.18.140.219 2009-11-25 08:10:06 2009-11-25 15:10:06 1 0 0 23444 diamondchels@yahoo.com 201.191.160.62 2009-11-25 06:29:40 2009-11-25 13:29:40 1 0 0 23446 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-25 06:39:01 2009-11-25 13:39:01 1 0 0 23443 Amyroon@gmail.com 166.205.131.48 2009-11-25 05:37:04 2009-11-25 12:37:04 1 0 0 23439 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-11-25 01:32:55 2009-11-25 08:32:55 1 0 5 23440 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-11-25 01:40:56 2009-11-25 08:40:56 1 0 5 23441 mae@thundersquee.com 67.149.164.230 2009-11-25 01:49:15 2009-11-25 08:49:15 1 0 0 23438 mae@thundersquee.com 67.149.164.230 2009-11-25 01:19:37 2009-11-25 08:19:37 1 0 0 23437 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-11-24 23:53:27 2009-11-25 06:53:27 1 0 5 23434 Amyroon@gmail.com 166.205.131.48 2009-11-24 23:05:27 2009-11-25 06:05:27 1 0 0 23435 Amyroon@gmail.com 166.205.131.48 2009-11-24 23:09:43 2009-11-25 06:09:43 1 0 0 23433 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-11-24 23:01:15 2009-11-25 06:01:15 1 0 5 23430 Amyroon@gmail.com 166.205.131.48 2009-11-24 22:40:32 2009-11-25 05:40:32 1 0 0 23423 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-24 19:14:54 2009-11-25 02:14:54 1 0 0 23421 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-11-24 17:39:28 2009-11-25 00:39:28 1 0 0 23418 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.68.12.212 2009-11-24 15:32:04 2009-11-24 22:32:04 1 0 0 23399 mae@thundersquee.com 67.149.164.230 2009-11-24 10:50:14 2009-11-24 17:50:14 1 0 0 23387 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.228.96.33 2009-11-24 00:52:40 2009-11-24 07:52:40 1 0 0 23386 chellelee@sbcglobal.net http:// 72.171.0.144 2009-11-24 00:22:48 2009-11-24 07:22:48 1 0 42 23320 diamondchels@yahoo.com 201.191.160.44 2009-11-23 12:49:33 2009-11-23 19:49:33 1 0 0 23317 alang2@kc.rr.com 65.26.55.226 2009-11-23 12:40:59 2009-11-23 19:40:59 1 0 0 23318 mae@thundersquee.com 67.149.164.230 2009-11-23 12:41:14 2009-11-23 19:41:14 1 0 0 23315 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2009-11-23 12:31:09 2009-11-23 19:31:09 1 0 0 23306 diamondchels@yahoo.com 201.191.160.44 2009-11-23 11:36:03 2009-11-23 18:36:03 1 0 0 23299 lolli_lew@yahoo.com 205.167.170.9 2009-11-23 10:53:01 2009-11-23 17:53:01 1 0 0 23296 potato_sensei@yahoo.com http://twitter.com/potato_sensei 71.191.60.157 2009-11-23 10:42:26 2009-11-23 17:42:26 1 0 0 23290 laurie96d@yahoo.com 12.25.46.2 2009-11-23 10:09:08 2009-11-23 17:09:08 1 0 0
"No One Wants To See Curvy Women." - Karl Lagerfeld http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/11/25/no-one-wants-to-see-curvy-women-karl-lagerfeld-2/ Wed, 25 Nov 2009 23:30:47 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=30258 "HE WAS WARNED." - Sarah's Vagina

Karl Lagerfeld, I don't think you understand. My vagina has a mind of her own. She cannot be controlled. You see, the warning you were given a couple of months ago was a mercy that few are lucky enough to get. My vagina doesn't give a fuck about fashion (oh, if I had a Chanel dress for every time we've argued bitterly about it... well, I'd be selling them on eBay and eating a WHOLE lot better, for one) but since I do, my vagina was willing to compromise. ONCE.

My vagina heard what you recently said about the popular German women's magazine Brigitte's recent decision to stop using professional models in their fashion editorials, opting instead to use "real" women to reconnect with their readers:

Lagerfeld, who has subjected himself to a rigorous slimming schedule, described the magazine's decision as absurd and said it had fallen victim to overweight women. The 71-year-old designer added: "Nobody wants to see a round woman."

"You've got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying that thin models are ugly."

"No one wants to see curvy women," he was quoted as saying on the website of news magazine Focus.

I'll tell you, Karl, things aren't looking good for you right now. I may be sitting here writing this post, but my vagina is on the phone booking a flight to Europe. And she is a fierce, stealthy huntress, Karl! - with lots of scary tricks up her... well, you know. Vagina.

It's out of my hands now. If I were you, I would do two things.

1) Decide which of your paper fans and high-collared shirts you love the most, and pack them away. If they are on your person when my vagina finds you, they will get messed up.

2) FUCKING RUN.

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30258 2009-11-25 16:30:47 2009-11-25 23:30:47 open open no-one-wants-to-see-curvy-women-karl-lagerfeld-2 publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1259140484 _edit_last 8 23528 kellmandj@bellsouth.net 74.186.136.30 2009-11-26 08:07:44 2009-11-26 15:07:44 1 0 0 23519 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-11-26 01:00:00 2009-11-26 08:00:00 1 0 5 23514 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.222.198 2009-11-26 00:51:53 2009-11-26 07:51:53 1 0 0 23506 igandy@gmail.com 166.137.5.179 2009-11-25 20:21:31 2009-11-26 03:21:31 1 0 0 23503 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2009-11-25 19:36:16 2009-11-26 02:36:16 1 0 5 23501 missnairne@gwi.net 66.55.199.221 2009-11-25 19:16:27 2009-11-26 02:16:27 1 0 0
FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATE, OR 911? QUICK! YOU'VE ONLY GOT TWO BARS! http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/11/26/facebook-status-update-or-911-quick-youve-only-got-two-bars/ Thu, 26 Nov 2009 19:30:44 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=30476 Facebook Status Update, DHURRVSts-cellphone-lol

Say you're a junior high school aged kid, and you and your friend are out walkin', just chillin', and somehow find yourselves in a storm drain, and can't find your way out. That would be scary, right?

But wait! You have cell phones! HOORAY! You have two options.
Option One: you frantically text your whereabouts and state of terrified anxiety TO YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE. Then you frantically await to be notified of your friends' replies! Which will likely go as follows:

"UR WHERE? THAT'S CRAZY LOL!"

"a storm drain? WHAT IS THAT? btw, i need my english notes back! cross ur fingers, test tomorrow lol hope I pass this time"

"srsly, only u 2 could get trapped in a fukn drain! lrofl!"

"rly? omg! u ok? don't go anywr - gotta p brb"

"I alwys new u'd get trppd in a strm drn haha good luck lmaoroflbbq"

"wharrgarblwharrgarblwharrgarbl+otherstuff"

"shud i call someone? i'm calling someone. wait i'll find the nmbr to 911. hang on."

Option Two: you call emergency services, and not waste your cell phone batteries on fucking around with your friends, as that will delay your rescue by HOURS.

Obviously, you choose Option One, because YOUR PARENTS ARE IDIOTS WHO HAVE TAUGHT YOU NOTHING.


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30476 2009-11-26 12:30:44 2009-11-26 19:30:44 open open facebook-status-update-or-911-quick-youve-only-got-two-bars publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1259231838 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1
Dolphins: We'll Fuck Your Shit UP, On Porpoise. http://www.thundersquee.com/2009/11/27/dolphins-well-fuck-your-shit-up-on-porpoise/ Fri, 27 Nov 2009 21:00:21 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=30436 Porpoise Community Seeks Protection For Harboring Dirty, Dirty Snitches

dolphinmedDolphins are murdering bastards, y'all. Not only are they cold-hearted and unforgiving, but they have a message to deliver: snitches get stitches, squeakers get beachers. (Dolphins may be clever hitmen, but they can't rhyme for shit. They make up for it with their ruthless killing style.)

Last year, 74 murdered porpoises washed up in California - murders that were suspected of the notorious Eeee! Eeee! family of the Dolphin Mafia, but were never proved. Recently, a gang attack by dolphins on a porpoise was photo-documented; after the porpoise was beaten to death, the dolphins dragged the lifeless body to the photographer's boat and then swam away, leaving the body behind. Apparently, it took leaving a murdered body on a photographer's doorstep (or whatever it's called if you're on a boat) for the dolphins' message to be made public: DON'T FUCK WITH THE DOLPHINS, SNITCHES, OR YOU MIGHT NEVER AGAIN SWIM WITH THE FISHES. (Again; rhyming's not their thing.) Porpoises know stuff, and they're being picked off like ripe sea cucumbers as a result.

WHAT DO THE PORPOISES KNOW? Information that may involve found feet? Or the secrets of Atlantis? Or why LiLo continues to somehow be newsworthy? Whatever the case may be, I'm investigating, so I really hope it's "feet."

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30436 2009-11-27 14:00:21 2009-11-27 21:00:21 open open dolphins-well-fuck-your-shit-up-on-porpoise publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1259316606 _edit_last 8 aktt_tweeted 1
446px-dore-munchausen-illustration http://www.thundersquee.com/?attachment_id=30660 Tue, 01 Dec 2009 08:49:02 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/446px-dore-munchausen-illustration.jpg 30660 2009-12-01 01:49:02 2009-12-01 08:49:02 open open 446px-dore-munchausen-illustration inherit 0 0 attachment http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/446px-dore-munchausen-illustration.jpg _wp_attached_file 2009/12/446px-dore-munchausen-illustration.jpg _wp_attachment_metadata a:6:{s:5:"width";s:3:"446";s:6:"height";s:3:"599";s:14:"hwstring_small";s:22:"height='96' width='71'";s:4:"file";s:46:"2009/12/446px-dore-munchausen-illustration.jpg";s:5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:46:"446px-dore-munchausen-illustration-163x219.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"163";s:6:"height";s:3:"219";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:46:"446px-dore-munchausen-illustration-223x300.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"223";s:6:"height";s:3:"300";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}} Daily Bale http://www.thundersquee.com/2010/01/26/daily-bale-307/ Tue, 26 Jan 2010 14:00:36 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=33172

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33172 2010-01-26 07:00:36 2010-01-26 14:00:36 open open daily-bale-307 publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_lock 1264509211 _edit_last 6 aktt_notify_twitter yes 24646 diamondchels@yahoo.com 201.191.160.35 2010-01-26 07:43:42 2010-01-26 14:43:42 1 0 0 24647 roxylee19@hotmail.com 96.10.1.100 2010-01-26 08:32:43 2010-01-26 15:32:43 1 0 0 24651 diamondchels@yahoo.com 201.191.160.35 2010-01-26 10:11:19 2010-01-26 17:11:19 1 0 0 24653 citizenerased81@gmail.com http://twitter.com/oilybohunk7 24.247.242.90 2010-01-26 10:33:41 2010-01-26 17:33:41 1 0 12 24655 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2010-01-26 11:50:54 2010-01-26 18:50:54 1 0 0 24656 diamondchels@yahoo.com 201.191.160.35 2010-01-26 12:18:37 2010-01-26 19:18:37 1 0 0 24658 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2010-01-26 13:02:19 2010-01-26 20:02:19 1 0 0 24659 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.40.138.72 2010-01-26 13:54:41 2010-01-26 20:54:41 1 0 0 24662 amyroon@gmail.com 66.213.243.185 2010-01-26 14:18:02 2010-01-26 21:18:02 1 0 0 24663 kat7962@hotmail.com 63.226.218.60 2010-01-26 14:30:28 2010-01-26 21:30:28 1 0 0 24672 citizenerased81@gmail.com http://twitter.com/oilybohunk7 24.247.242.90 2010-01-27 10:01:13 2010-01-27 17:01:13 1 0 12 24676 jennae.phillippe@gmail.com 68.183.110.27 2010-01-27 10:25:35 2010-01-27 17:25:35 1 0 0 24678 citizenerased81@gmail.com http://twitter.com/oilybohunk7 24.247.242.90 2010-01-27 10:42:24 2010-01-27 17:42:24 1 0 12 24685 alang2@kc.rr.com 65.26.55.226 2010-01-27 12:16:50 2010-01-27 19:16:50 1 0 0 24687 citizenerased81@gmail.com http://twitter.com/oilybohunk7 24.247.242.90 2010-01-27 12:54:19 2010-01-27 19:54:19 1 0 12 24690 lavakris79@yahoo.com 99.40.138.72 2010-01-27 22:36:25 2010-01-28 05:36:25 1 0 0 24692 stopthemadness@angryblacklady.com http://www.angryblacklady.com 76.94.131.171 2010-01-27 23:24:35 2010-01-28 06:24:35 1 0 0 24699 L_bsongs@yahoo.com 24.189.57.49 2010-01-28 07:15:29 2010-01-28 14:15:29 1 0 0 24712 laurie96d@yahoo.com 75.204.200.16 2010-01-28 20:12:06 2010-01-29 03:12:06 1 0 0 24714 sarah@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 24.125.175.212 2010-01-28 23:14:07 2010-01-29 06:14:07 1 0 5
The Fossa: Freddie Mercury Of The Wild Kingdom. http://www.thundersquee.com/2010/01/26/the-fossa-freddie-mercury-of-the-wild-kingdom/ Tue, 26 Jan 2010 18:55:09 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=33175 From THIS angle? GORGEOUS.

 

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="397" caption="Yeah, I'm pretty and I do ALL the stuff that fossas do, PLUS I've got this kid. I'm amazing in every way."][/caption]

From THIS angle, YOU WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption=" I WILL EAT YOUR FACE OFF. Because I'm awesome."][/caption] ]]>
33175 2010-01-26 11:55:09 2010-01-26 18:55:09 open open the-fossa-freddie-mercury-of-the-wild-kingdom publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_last 5 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1264541324 24657 diamondchels@yahoo.com 201.191.160.35 2010-01-26 12:21:44 2010-01-26 19:21:44 1 0 0
billy-zane-20040421-456 http://www.thundersquee.com/2010/02/02/daily-bale-312/billy-zane-20040421-456/ Tue, 02 Feb 2010 07:56:11 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/billy-zane-20040421-456.jpg 33304 2010-02-02 00:56:11 2010-02-02 07:56:11 open open billy-zane-20040421-456 inherit 33303 0 attachment http://www.thundersquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/billy-zane-20040421-456.jpg _wp_attached_file 2010/02/billy-zane-20040421-456.jpg _wp_attachment_metadata a:6:{s:5:"width";s:3:"426";s:6:"height";s:3:"500";s:14:"hwstring_small";s:22:"height='96' width='81'";s:4:"file";s:35:"2010/02/billy-zane-20040421-456.jpg";s:5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:35:"billy-zane-20040421-456-187x220.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"187";s:6:"height";s:3:"220";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:35:"billy-zane-20040421-456-255x300.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"255";s:6:"height";s:3:"300";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}} Daily Bale http://www.thundersquee.com/2010/02/02/daily-bale-312/ Tue, 02 Feb 2010 14:00:52 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=33303 Ned Flanders-Bale.

What. He's hot and you know darn-diddily-iddly it.

 

 

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33303 2010-02-02 07:00:52 2010-02-02 14:00:52 open open daily-bale-312 publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_lock 1265112077 _edit_last 5 aktt_notify_twitter yes
Is This Dog REALLY Smiling? http://www.thundersquee.com/2010/02/02/is-this-dog-really-smiling/ Tue, 02 Feb 2010 17:00:32 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=33295 Or Does She Want To Eat Her Trainer's Face?

I don't have a dog, currently, because I rent. That doesn't make me less of a "dog person," though - I know me some dogs. And this one is looking like it's been harangued. (Is "harangued" a word? Maybe! I don't actually know; but it seems to fit this dog.) Now, I ain't no PETA representative (although I get why the people that are, are) but something about this is just not sitting right with me. Ears flat back and all twitchy? That's a sign that the dog in front of you hates your guts but isn't willing to take that next step (which is biting your face off.) I don't know what this person did to make this dog "smile" like this, but I'm pretty sure I'm not cool with it. Anyway. You be the judge.


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33295 2010-02-02 10:00:32 2010-02-02 17:00:32 open open is-this-dog-really-smiling publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_last 5 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1265098249
Daily Bale http://www.thundersquee.com/2010/02/03/daily-bale-313/ Wed, 03 Feb 2010 14:00:08 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=33314 AndrewVanBalegarden


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33314 2010-02-03 07:00:08 2010-02-03 14:00:08 open open daily-bale-313 publish 0 0 post aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_last 5 aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1265112044
We're Having Some Technical Trubs, Y'all. http://www.thundersquee.com/2010/02/04/were-having-some-technical-trubs-yall/ Fri, 05 Feb 2010 05:59:32 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=33343 We're Not Purposely Refusing Your Comments. We Would Never.

*thanks to chelsea, for the heads-up.


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33343 2010-02-04 22:59:32 2010-02-05 05:59:32 open open were-having-some-technical-trubs-yall publish 0 0 post _24743 wpAjax9996f13cd419636225bfdad791f4c6f45161c97273e337e741ce7d5224f4d174eb150e659cd1a2fe3620ecce7e710717 _24742 wpAjax843b63a541a33a05e2ed3b935eb81fdf7b787430630167c077658e2f5b80e1ea8b72ee1a44ce25591a274bcd85c6eeed aktt_tweeted 1 _edit_lock 1265349575 _edit_last 5 aktt_notify_twitter yes 24739 mayrose10@gmail.com http:// 75.38.121.11 2010-02-05 00:43:15 2010-02-05 07:43:15 1 0 83 25583 http://%/q2131q2121 89.189.191.75 2010-04-15 15:51:35 2010-04-15 22:51:35 Точно, вы правы... We’re Not Purposely Refusing Your Comments. We Would Never. *thanks to chelsea, for the heads-up.....]]> spam trackback 0 0
Still With The Technical Trubs http://www.thundersquee.com/2010/02/19/still-with-the-technical-trubs/ Fri, 19 Feb 2010 12:30:35 +0000 http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=33431 And We're Getting Stabby About It.

Welp, we thought we'd have this whole "Comments Section" iss-yew handled by now, but nope. We're still figuring it out. Anyone know a helpful techie who loves to work for free?

In other news, everything sucks and the world* is a horrible place.


*Except for the parts of the world that produce ponycorns, chocolate, rainbows and you guys. We're cool with those. They don't suck.

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33431 2010-02-19 05:30:35 2010-02-19 12:30:35 open open still-with-the-technical-trubs publish 0 0 post aktt_notify_twitter yes _edit_lock 1266865775 _edit_last 5 aktt_tweeted 1 24827 mae@thundersquee.com 67.149.230.194 2010-04-06 10:29:09 2010-04-06 17:29:09 1 0 0 24821 mae@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 67.149.230.194 2010-04-06 10:04:43 2010-04-06 17:04:43 1 0 13 24822 mae@thundersquee.com 67.149.230.194 2010-04-06 10:05:06 2010-04-06 17:05:06 1 0 0 24823 mae@thundersquee.com 67.149.230.194 2010-04-06 10:05:40 2010-04-06 17:05:40 1 0 0 24769 mae@thundersquee.com http://www.thundersquee.com 67.149.230.194 2010-03-02 17:08:31 2010-03-03 00:08:31 1 0 13