Tag Archives: Twilight

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Kristen Stewart Emotional Chart

I laughed OL.

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Three Busey Moon

So hot right now…

Sick of Twilight?  Love Gary Busey?

Then this shirt is for you:

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It makes a perfect stocking stuffer.  Don’t forget to add chiclets!

(Thanks to oilybohunk7 for the tip!)

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Tom Cruise Auditions for Twilight

High-larious

(Thanks to mme marbles for the tip!)

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Angry Black Lady Chronicles: These Twilight Shenannies Have Got to Stop

As soon as I finish reading Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. ts-twilight

Listen up, y’all.  I must admit, I enjoyed Twilight and New Moon (the books).  I enjoy them in the way that I enjoyed watching Saved by the Bell and 10 years of Beverly Hills, 90210.  I know there’s absolutely no redeeming value in them, and having been an English Major in college, schooled in Thackeray, the Bronte Sisters, Faulkner, and etc., I know that these books are poorly written.  I mean, REALLY poorly written.  Every time I read the words “Bella frowned sleepily” I want to stab my own self in the neck.  Adverb soup is a crime people.  Stephen King, who hates Twilight, by the way, taught me that.  (If you haven’t read his book On Writing, do it.  Do it now.)

Nonetheless, I zoomed through the first two books in a couple days.  Sue me.  I read some crappy ass books, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.  I read almost every Sweet Valley High book known to womankind back when I was a teenager.  Dude, Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield?  Right the fuck on.  Bruce Patman and his Porsche?  Humunuh humunuh.  Remember when Elizabeth became the bad twin and banged Bruce Patman much to Todd Wilkins’ horror?  Ohhhhh yeahhh.  I’m a sucker for a crappily written book that has some abjectly stupid romance story.   I used to read Harlequin romance novels when I was in high school.  Yeah, that’s right.  I read that shit.  I’m sort of a sap at heart.  (Don’t tell anyone!  Well, except the entire interwebz.)

So I recognize that Twilight sucks from a literary standpoint.  But I still like the books.  But for the love of Cruise, this vampire shit has got to stop before  I burn this motherfucker down.

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Twilight Fans Are Out of Their Goddamn Minds

Twilight, Twibright, You All Need to Die in a Fire Tonight

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This Twilight shit is insane, y’all.  I mean really really insane.  As I told y’all last month, Twilight was released on DVD to much screaming, crying, and panty dropping at various midnight release parties.  It sold more than 3 million copies on the first day, putting it in on par with such hits as The Dark Knight, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and Transformers which also sold an assload of DVDs on their first release day. (Apparently, Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End also sold a shit ton of copies on its first day, but the movie was fucking stupid.  I mean really really stupid.  And I, therefore,  refuse to acknowledge it–although I already have by noting how fucking stupid it was.  Whatever, bitches.  Don’t be so literal.)

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Stop the Twilight Madness

Seriously.  Enough Already.  We get it.

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Fans–young and old–of Stephenie Meyers’ Twilight vampire series mobbed the Hollywood & Highland shopping complex in Los Angeles this weekend.

Twilight came out on DVD this weekend, and in the hopes that no one would remember that the movie sucks, Summit Entertainment unleashed Twilight stars for surprise midnight “Whoopty Doo, this Crappy Ass Movie is Out on DVD” release parties in cities across the country.

MTV reportedly got wind that Ashley Greene, the actress who plays Alice Cullen, sister to the superhot Edward Cullen (played by Robert Pattinson), would be making a special appearance at Hot Topic at Hollywood & Highland.  Yeah, I said Hot Topic.

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5 Movies Starring a Man Named "Bob"

Because Why Not?

Robert De Niro in Heat



Robert Redford in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid



Roberto Benigni in Life Is Beautiful




Robert Pattinson in Twilight



Bill Murray in What About Bob?


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Robert Pattinson, Watch Your Back

ts-rob-pattinson-edwardYour sexy sexyback.

Paris Hilton has got her wonky eye on you.

Is no man safe from Lady Herpes of Valtrexshire’s vagina dentata?

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