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Dear Lisa Lampanelli: Kindly Shut the F*ck Up.

lisa_lampanelliDear Lisa Lampanelli:

No matter how many black men you fetishize for fodder for your “comedy” routine, you do not have the right to call Lena Dunham — one of the most privileged white women working in show biz right now — “nigga.” It’s not your word to use or reclaim.

Look, Lisa, I get it.  You’ve fucked a metric ton of black dudes in your day, and somewhere along the way, you got it in your head that you can fuck your way to not being racist. But here’s the thing. You can’t.

Sure, you can tell jokes about your proclivity for black dick. You can make jokes at your own expense about your weight. Apparently you got skinny and now white dudes will fuck you? Is that it? Hooray for you, Lisa.

But when you say shit like this:  “How many ‘hispanics’ does it take to clean a bathroom? None! That’s a nigger’s job!”

And this: “What do you call a black woman who’s had seven abortions? A crime fighter”

You’re not being a “lovable queen of mean.” You’re being a racist asshole.

Sure, you may get some laughs. People laugh at racist assholes all the time. People laugh at inappropriate shit all the time. But you should know that no matter how many people you make laugh, deep down inside you are nothing but a racist asshole. A racist asshole who happens to fuck black dudes, but a racist asshole all the same.

Let me say it again: no matter how many black guys you fuck, you can’t fuck your way out of being racist.

So do us all a favor and knock it the fuck off.

Respectfully yours,

Angry Black Lady

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25 Responses to Dear Lisa Lampanelli: Kindly Shut the F*ck Up.

  1. I’m not black… But I am a woman of color and Lisa Lampenelli is NOT a racist. She just makes, funny and hilarious racist remarks. If you ever watch her specials (I’ve watched them all btw) you’d see that what she’s really doing is making fun of racists. Many of her fans are people of color and gay (she makes fun of them too) and its quite obvious that she isn’t spewing hate speech, it’s funny! And sometime angry black ladies don’t know to take a joke… It happens. But this time you’re wrong.

    • Shorter version of your post:

      “Sure, some people might think that she’s being incredibly offensive, and incredibly insensitive to those who might find what she says offensive (which is a whole lot of people), but they’re wrong to be offended because I am not. And by ignoring the many, many people she offends, she isn’t being racist and offensive because I’m not offended.”

      No offense, but that’s not how it works.

    • Sherrie Hussein GG (@SherrieGG)

      Holy fuckballs, in what world does a NOT black person get to determine what it or is not offensive to an ACTUAL black person? You, you dizzy bitch, will walk gaily into the gas chambers as Lisa makes her hilarious remarks about lamp shades and hey, guess who made the soap? No, really, who is it?

      If I know you, I’m ashamed. Just never address me again and I’ll be fine.

      • So you make insensitive remarks about the Holocaust in order to prove a point that white people shouldn’t use a word blacks use all the time? Demanding sensitivity towards your race while being insenstive to Jews. I’d like to say this is the 1st time I’ve seen blacks do this, but it’s the 10000th. Perhaps there is a reason you do not get respect.

        • @Jane – What?! Because all black people do this? Yes Sherri is the Chief Operating Officer of black people. Get real. Your observation & comment is just as myopic as her’s was.

        • first, sherrie is white. second, “blacks use it all the time”? give me a break.

          don’t use that word. why do you want to use that word so badly? it’s not yours to use.

    • she’s not racist, she just makes racist remarks.

      yeah, ok.

    • You’re a parody, right?

      You must be.

    • Gurrl… take several seats, I don’t give a rats ass if your a “woman of color” those statements are racist and if you cant see it, you’re racist too.

  2. Yes, she’s offensive and I am glad for it. We need less political correctness in our humor, art and culture. I am a black and aware that racism is alive and well. Xenophobia or “fear of the other” may or may not be phased out of humanity one day, but the way to get there is certainly not by having comedians or writers censoring themselves. Especially since comedians like Lampanelli are not the people we need to be concerned with.

  3. It’s pretty clear you don’t understand her humor, or maybe you do but don’t appreciate it. I’ve been to her live performances and watched most of her specials. I know of her interactions with friends, people that I trust. The woman could not be more genuine and generous. And “my people” are often the literal butt of her jokes. My take on it is that she slams everyone in a way that uniquely makes you part of the joke because you are all the joke. I’ve never, ever heard or know of the slightest ugliness from her as a person. Like you realize she gave $50,000 to the Gay Men’s Health Crisis for when the Westboro members picketed her? Her comedy uses racial and gender stereotypes obviously, but if you get offended I think it says more about you than about her comedy.

  4. Lisa Lampanelli works better with context than on Twitter. Her shtick only works when she can overwhelm you with one joke after another. An isolated tweet in full Lampanelli style is going to fall flat. This one really missed the mark.

  5. Speaking as a white woman who was before this vaguely aware of Lampanelli as some comedian who gave money to gay causes and was therefore probably OK:

    1. There’s nothing funny or edgy about what she wrote. “Ooooh, look at me get away with this language, it’s funny because we’re two white chicks” stopped being clever many, many years ago.

    2. The other jokes listed above may be funnier in context. Maybe.

    3. Maybe she’s a blast. I don’t know. I like Katt Williams, and he’s utterly foul-mouthed, so maybe I would like her stuff. I’m betting not.

    4. The whole doing black guys thing kind of raises an eyebrow (well, not doing it, talking a lot about it as a key characteristic of oneself). Most of the white women I’ve known who TALK a lot about how they date/sleep with/whatever a lot of black men tend to have this…silly pride in it. “I’m so cool. Black men adore me. See this butt? It’s like a black girl’s butt! That’s why black men like me. And I’m down with them! I know all the black stuff to say and everything! I use racial slurs and they think it’s funny and cute when I do it.”

    Maybe I totally misjudge her, based on my limited knowledge. Except that this often goes along with, “I’m so cool. Gay men love me! I’m, like, one of them or something. I’m an honorary gay man! And they think it’s so cool and funny when I call them faggots! I’m like Barbra Streisand or something. I’m special, because I hang with gay men.”

    And so alarm bells go off.

    There’s also the detail that this is apparently being done to make Lena Dunham cool by association, and Dunham has made a couple of forays into annoying black people herself.

    I don’t know. Maybe this woman is the funniest asshole out there since Lenny Bruce was still standing, but my reaction to this is to cringe. You have to be a genius to pull off ‘ooh, I use taboo racial language’ and have it be more than moderately annoying at best, and genuinely racist at worst.

  6. Pro tip: Sometimes being an asshole just makes you an asshole. Lisa Lampanelli is an asshole.

  7. She’s not funny at all. I watched two minutes of one of her specials, and that was more than enough for me to see that she was a no-talent hack. Calling people niggers, faggots, spics, etc., and spitting out stereotype after stereotype isn’t edgy or funny – it’s lazy, boring, juvenile, and stupid. “Oooooh! Look how edgy I am!” No, you’re not. Have a stadium of seats, Lisa Lampanelli.

  8. Sherrie Hussein GG (@SherrieGG)

    We need about 20 goodlookin black yoots who got nothing better to do than to follow her around from venue to venue and LOUDLY REMINDING HER when she starts that SHE CANNOT USE THAT WORD. Period. And they need to LOUDLY AND REPEATEDLY REMIND HER POLITELY. So politely she has no choice but to leave the stage. Might take about a month, but I bet it works.

  9. I’m white and I’m offended. Not only are her jokes racist, they’re not even very funny. I’ve heard a very few racist jokes that are funny. Why so few? Because according to the comedian Jamie Kilstein (whom you should all follow on Twitter), what makes comedy effective is when it is a vehicle that the historically oppressed use against the privileged. That’s why poor people making jokes about rich people are a lot funnier than when it’s the other way around. It is why all of the best comedians have been Jewish, black, gay, and even recently Arab-American.
    If someone like, say, Tucker Carlson, were to venture into comedy, he wouldn’t be funny because he would be politically incorrect, he would be un-funny because he comes from a position of privilege.

  10. All DNA in the world that is human emanates from Africa. So what gives you the right to co-opt a word that applies to the entirety of humanity and apply it to some small subset… Now that sounds racist to me! I’ll use the pejorative to describe myself on any occasion I want cuz my DNA has earned as have my people. Time to break the wall of racism down AND time to stop pretending they are all white!

  11. This is awesome and my favorite part: “You’ve fucked a metric ton of black dudes in your day, and somewhere along the way, you got it in your head that you can fuck your way to not being racist. But here’s the thing. You can’t.”

  12. Imani Gandy, get over yourself.

    “Look, Lisa, I get it. You’ve fucked a metric ton of black dudes in your day, and somewhere along the way, you got it in your head that you can fuck your way to not being racist. But here’s the thing. You can’t.”

    Right, because all white people are racist and no black person is ever racist. But at least you are honest about who you are. Well, except for the holier than thou racist bitch part. But then you really can’t be expected to have a website called “www.holierthanthouracistangryblackladybitch.com”, can you?

    Get on with your bad self, Sister! Keep it REAL!

    And Luisa, that quote is only awesome if you are also a typical ABL. Prize to you.

  13. Uhm, hello there. I must admit that I havent watched a full show of hers, but since it said “best comedian ever” (stupid random uncanny yt descriptions), I thought Id give it a shot, you know. Shes quite disgusting in her arrogance, tacky and lacks immensely the tact and the finesse that an emotionally intelligent fully-developed individual would naturally bare within himself and portray just as natural and dignified. Among my favorite comedians are Pablo Francisco, Louis CK, Eddie Murphy, Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock.. and some others. Damn, it sure takes class, a sense of the aesthetic, skills (not any unfiltered, cheap raw memo that the good god knows where she acquired and never got to discard), bit o’ the old disciplinary measures and, in her case, a hell of a lot of self-control.

    As I found the other day researching in relation to the creative laborious process, according to the view of proper, acknowledged philosophers, theoreticians and literary specialists, it should be taken into account that ever since the inspirational kicks in, the revealing sparkle comes across several types of steps before reaching its target audience/receptor. In relation to her neurotic (sorry, thats, psychotic) outbursts that she so kindly calls improvisational shows, reckon she might want to consider throwin’ up in her own mouth and not splash “underground catchy wise realm” into our faces.

    Plus I have a sense about people like the first second I hear something outta their mouths, and, hot damn, only school that can actually readjust Lisa is most probably the “the whole new outer-Terra public speaking lessons, now lisa charge-free”

    All the best to the article creators !

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