help

Americans Trust Obama More than Romney to Deal With Alien Invasion

Take me to your Dear Leader

I think we all know that in case of an alien attack, it’s better to have a black president. Didn’t you see Deep Impact? Sure, that wasn’t about aliens, but rather some other extinction level event, but if aliens show up, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be some serious extinction level shit. They’re not coming down here to stock up on Reese’s pieces or to compare mac and cheese recipes, mirite?

Well, a new poll conducted for the National Geographic Channel shows that when it comes to alien invasions, Americans would rather have President Obama handle it:

More Americans are confident in President Obama’s ability to handle an alien invasion than in Mitt Romney’s, according to a new poll released Wednesday.

In a survey conducted for the National Geographic Channel, 65 percent said they’d pick Obama to deal with an invading alien force over Romney. Obama also took the confidence vote among 68 percent of women surveyed, likely a key voting bloc in this scenario as well as in the November election.

In addition, about 79 percent of those surveyed think the government has kept information about aliens and UFOs a secret from the public. Despite that widespread suspicion, only 36 percent actually think UFOs exist, 17 percent don’t, and 48 percent aren’t sure.

The White House is pretty sure, though, and last December officially announced that the government has found “no evidence” of extraterrestrial life and no “credible information” indicating a cover-up.

The rest of the survey revealed how much influence cinema history has on Americans’ ideas about alien life.

Just in case Obama doesn’t come through in the event of an alien attack, 22 percent of those surveyed believed they could attempt to “befriend” extraterrestrial life, much like the children did in Steven Spielberg’s 1982 film “E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial”

Yes, America. You are wise. President Obama is clearly the right choice here. For one, President Obama has already been to Mars a bunch of times.  He already knows what’s up.

For two,  if aliens do attack, I sure as shit don’t want Mitt Romney to be the person handling diplomatic relations. Dude can’t even relate to his own species. He’d be all, “I love the Planet Caprica. The Cylons in Caprica are just the right height.”  And then he’d be all, “beep boop boop beep” until someone commenced emergency shutdown procedures.

It’d be a goddamn disaster.

[via The Hill]

[cross-posted at Balloon Juice]

Share/Bookmark
jobs

6 Responses to Americans Trust Obama More than Romney to Deal With Alien Invasion

  1. Americans don’t trust Romney-Tron to fend off an alien invasion because we all know it would go against his Prime Directive. You don’t send the aliens’ cyborg scout to fight its creators. ;-)

  2. eclecticbrotha

    Well, Obama was a lock to win this poll after he and Jeff Goldblum piloted that captured alien fighter right up old Shovelhead’s tentacled ass. Oh wait….

  3. eclecticbrotha

    Can’t believe there are no “Quick! Smell my finger!” quotes attached to that pic of E.T.

  4. That Guy With The Ponytail

    Whatever happens, in an alien invasion, just make certain you have a kid and a dog with you, and you’ll be OK.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

report